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male
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*raiger
writes: I have a female friend who I love and care for very much. She is recently divorced ( for three months and were seperated for two years). She filed for the divorce because he had an affair and is keeping it going. She gave him numurous chances for him to change and told him she would forgive him until the divorce. Yet he calls her still and does not let her live her own life. He blames the divorce and all thier problems on her and makes her feel terrible all the time with his verbal abuse. She does still care for him yet is misserable and when he talks to her makes her cry. They were married for sixteen years and have two teenage daughters. I have suggested she go to a counselor of some sort. I honestly want to just help her and get her away from him. He has stolen her self esteem and made her life a living hell. What do I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, geqo  +, writes (31 October 2006):
 You were right to refer her to a counsellor, and keep encouraging her to see one. They will be able to help her get back her life. In the meantime, assure her of the facts. The divorce was his fault (he had the affair, not her); she gave him numerous chances to make things right - tried to make the marriage work; she owes him nothing! If her ex-husband keeps verbally abusing her, suggest to her that she get a legal restraining order.
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