A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:This is a continued saga... my bf and I have been arguing about he and his ex calling each other and the fact that he hides it from me so i won't get mad. He has promised not matter what the circumstance, he would inform me if she has been calling to save us the argument. I realized this was going on from seeing it on his cellphone quite a few times now.what do you think about the fact that he's hiding his cellphone now when I'm over. Should I take it as he is hiding something? Or that he just doesn't think I need to know who calls him no matter who? Or the face that they are calling each other and he just doesn't want me to know?
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male
reader, geqo  +, writes (9 April 2007):
 Any relationship can only succeed if there is trust between it's members. There is an obvious trust problem here: you don't trust him (as shown by the fact that you want to see who has been calling him even though he hasn't told you there is any sort of problem). On the other hand, he doesnt trust you either if he is hiding his cellphone from you.
The best way to solve this problem will be to be open about it. Ask him if you can look at his cellphone. If he resists, confront him with this issue of trust, including the fact that there is trust lacking on your part as well as his. He should have no need to hide his cellphone if he trusts you, and you should have no need to look at it if you trust him.
A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (9 April 2007):
 It sounds to me as if he has got something to hide, otherwise he would leave his phone openly on dispaly rather than hide it away.
It does sound like they still call each other, whether they still see each other or not is a different matter.
I think the alarm bells would be ringing at this stage for me. I don't know how long the two of you have been together, but if i diden't get some concrete answers i would consider walking away from the relationship. This guy is not being honest with you, and the likllhood is that if you asked him if he was seeing his ex else he would not tell you the truth anyway.
Good luck x
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