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male
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anonymous
writes: I don't know what to do here,I recently got married to a girl who i absoulutly feel is my life saviour and soul mate,I, over a 5 year term of dating her have hurt her a few times with my coldness and aloof attitude.In the 5 years ,it was a long distance relationship, i am in UK she is in Florida,I made several efforts to go there as much as possible. I do not work, she comes from a bit of money.I sold off everything i had basically so that i could get there and spend time with her during that 5 years.I eventually ran out of money and can't work, so it started to look more and more like i was using her, which i wasn't. I truley love her.She eventually said yes to marriage and we got married 5 months ago,well because im UK and she in states it takes time before you can even get there to be together fully.Here lies my problem,it seem's i got carried away some ,spent a good bit of money on her cards and so on,while waiting to get over to her,she felt,it was me using her to live a life of luxury and the marriage was just so i could be in the states.Meanwhile now she wants a anullment,i am feeling literally sick to my stomach being without her, and now ,she is with someone else!I want her back and not sure how to even attempt this at this point,Any advice?Yes, we still talk as friends everyday but it is killing me inside.
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male
reader, geqo  +, writes (1 November 2006):
 Communication is a key issue here. You need to tell her one way or the other how much you truly love her and care for her. Make it very very clear that the money means nothing to you. In the meantime find a job in the UK, and you could even think of eventually asking her to come live with you in the UK for a while. That way it's obvious that it's not her money that you're after.
The most important thing, however, is that you have to convince her that it has never been about the money.
The fact that you still talk as friends must mean that there's more to it than just misjudging your intentions. She still seems to care for you on some level. It's also possible that she no longer loves you the way you love her, but that is something to 2 of you will have to talk about.
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