A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I wrote on here a few weeks ago about how my boyfriend of 5 months didn't get me even a card for Christmas after I got him a $200 gift.My birthday was a week later and I did not get even a card for that either. Am I being a baby or do I have a right to be a little upset?
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female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (14 January 2011):
 hi
he's taking the p**s. no one is that short of money that they cannot get you even a card, if they can't afford a gift (although he has KNOWN that Christmas is approaching - its on the same date every year!!!) he could have at least done something really nice for you that didn't cost anything but would touch your heart anyway. if you can handle being with someone who makes no effort for your then, yes , stay with him but i don't think you can so i would say dump him. but first, invite him round to yours and ask him to bring the wii, tell him you want to play with it, get it back off him and then dump him, but keep the wii. have it as your gift to yourself
xx
xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2011): Of course you have a right to be upset, what a cheek! Yes I do agree, this is a sign he isn't serious about the relationship. You need to think about whether you want to be with him. I wouldn't.
Presents have never meant that much to me off boyfriend's, but cards are always special. Even if he got you a cheap present, it's the thought that counts. Especially when you were so kind to get him an expensive gift.
Ask him why he never got you anything? I mean, fair enough if he couldn't afford a present, but anyone can afford a card.
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (14 January 2011):
 hahahaha eyes!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2011): youre not being a baby at al. my boyfriend bought my christmas present and then as my birthday was 3 days later had run out of money. so he hand made me a card with an apology saying that he had chosen what he wanted to buy me and he was going to buy it on pay day (2 days after my birthday) and take me out for dinner.so, shows you can make an effort with no money ;)so even if thsat is the reason- it is NOT an excuse
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A
female
reader, pancakes rule  +, writes (14 January 2011):
 You're SO not being a baby about this. You deserve SOMETHING. Ask him about it, I can understand that sometimes it's a little difficult to confront somebody, but you need to keep communication open and honest in a relationship.
He might not like you as much as you like him, so, don't expect too much from him. Then again, you don't have to prepare for the worst, he may just not have much money.
Good Luck
xx
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (14 January 2011):
 When his birthday comes around be sure to show him the lovely gift you bought for yourself
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A
male
reader, funnyguy25 +, writes (14 January 2011):
you definitely have a right to be upset...no card for christmas MAY be excused...but for ur b'day!!! atleast a small gift or a surprise would be ideal.....u need to talk to him about it...u need to make sure he loves u as much as u love him....
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A
female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (14 January 2011):
 Have you talked with him about this? No you aren't being a baby,in a relationship both people need to be acknowledged and especially on such a day as Christmas and your birthday.
He might not have remembered or he wasn't sure what to get you and didn't want to look like an idiot. Sit down and talk with him.
To me, this might be a sign that you need to find a new boyfriend.
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (14 January 2011):
ASK HIM! Sit him down, tell him everything that you have told us and Ask Him!!! If you can't talk things out with him, he's not much of a boyfriend.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (14 January 2011):
I'm with the others. This is probably a sign that he's not into this relationship as much as you are at all.
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A
male
reader, Illithid +, writes (14 January 2011):
 I remember. You bought him a Wii, didn't you? I could forgive him for not getting you something as cool, but between both Christmas and a Birthday, you deserved at least acknowledgement. Maybe a gift, maybe an extra special day at a fancy event you'd like, maybe just a day of pampering and special attention showering you with love, but at least SOMETHING (ad ideally, something for each day, maybe a big gift on one and pampering on the other). He sounds both lazy and cheap. If this is his idea of dating, don't expect anything for Valentines or anniversaries either.
If he's worth keeping, just accept that he's not likely to become thoughtful. You'd have to nag him for everything and he'll never just surprise you with anything. If you can't live with that, now's as good a time as any to make your choice.
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A
female
reader, Blonde68 +, writes (14 January 2011):
 You most certainly have every right to be upset!For me Birthdays are personal, and we would like to think our loved ones would remember this by at least sending a card. He should be expressing his feelings for you on your special day and treating you special. It sounds like he is a little lazy in the relationship and deserves a kick up the backside!Tell him how you feel.... he should be ashamed of himself for not even buying you a card!
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A
female
reader, iloveblue +, writes (14 January 2011):
 This is indeed upsetting. As a woman and I don't care how the guys justify this, I really cannot find a reason why he should at least give you a card except for the following:- he practices a religion which do not give importance to occasions such as the one mentioned above.- he is a kind of guy who just loves to take and take.- a deeper reason to reason no.2 above, he's not that into you.Actually, I am just echoing what dirtball has said. But just to let you know that this is unacceptable. Maybe you should rethink about dating this guy.
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A
male
reader, shawncaff +, writes (14 January 2011):
 No, you re not being a baby. It is my opinion that gifts are not really about money, but are indications of how important someone is to you. A simple card or even taking out for coffee or a movie...it can say a lot. I would take this an indication that either:1) He is not a thoughtful person and is very self-involved2) He doesn't really care about you3) He is cheapTake it into account and proceed carefully.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (14 January 2011):
 You have a right to be upset. Gifts are never about a quid pro quo, but there should at least be some sort of acknowledgement. Especially if you make it known that things like Christmas and your birthday are important to you.
Personally, birthdays are my favorite holiday. As your boyfriend, you'd think he'd want to celebrate the day the person he loves came into the world. But hey, not all guys are like that. Some just take and take. To me though, this is an indication he's not that into this relationship.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2011): Yes, you have a right to be upset. Even if he didnt have much money, he still should have gotten you a card or something. Talk to him about how you feel x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2011): Have you talked about this? Of course you have a reason to be upset, I would be really upset but there may be more to this. My best friend's partner doesnt believe in celebrating birthdays and Christmas by giving gifts but he is happy to buy her gifts during other times of the year (sees it as too commercial). She gets very upset but has accepted these are his beliefs. Also Jehova's don't believe in giving gifts. Is he out of work or suffering with health problems or bereaved? I think you need to gently say that you like to give and receive gifts as you have been brought up that way and were wondering what his views on this were. In an ideal world!!! I would be more like 'Oh my god I cant believe he didnt get me anything' and be distraught. But that's me and I would be hurt and feel very confused. Only way you will find out what he is thinking is by talking to him. Try not to take it personally as it may be just him and his beliefs.
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female
reader, factorygirl +, writes (14 January 2011):
yes, u have all rights to be upset. although I do believe that we give gifts for the sake of giving and are not expected to get anything in return....If you are in a relationship and he won't even give you a card on your birthday he's just being an ass. Him not having money is also not an excuse because there are many ways to do something nice without spending money. Tell him how you feel.
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female
reader, star8529 +, writes (14 January 2011):
I think you have a right to be a little upset, now I dont mean you should expect a $200 gift, because maybe he cant afford it. But even if he is having money troubles right now he could have gotten an inexpensive gift or at the least a card. You can make a homemade card for all that matters. Tell him how you feel, you really just wanted him to acknowledge you at christmas and on your birthday in some way, explain that to him. :)
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male
reader, Welsh Uncle Dave +, writes (14 January 2011):
you have a right to be upset and right to dump him (and take back the gift you got him). he clearly doesn't care.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2011): Yeah reciprocation is big in a relationship as it illustrates mutual feelings. I think you should ask him, calmly, what is going on. Good Luck.
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