A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey readers, I don't know what to do - whenever I spend the night with my bf, his snoring and loud breathing keeps me awake so I can't get to sleep til, like, 5am! I don't know what to do about it. We've been together 6 months, and he knows he snores sometimes. He likes to hold me when he's sleeping, which I like too, but I get a little frustrated when I can't sleep. I try sleeping at the other side of the bed, at the other end of the bed (top to toe!) and even on the floor. Do you have any advice? Obviously, he can't help snoring and his loud breathing. I try to relax and not concentrate on it, but my poor sleeping is starting to affect me at work-I was sooo tired today, only got 2 hours sleep. I want to be able to sleep in a bed with him next to me. What should I do? Thanks :)
View related questions:
at work Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, OliviaOlivia  +, writes (11 March 2011):
As others have mentioned, the best advice for your boyfriend is probably to be seen by a doctor, just to ensure that his snoring is only a nuisance and not a health problem.My advice for you, in the meantime, comes from my own experience. My live-in boyfriend sounds like a lawnmower EVERY single night. I'm naturally not a great sleeper, and have always found it hard to fall asleep especially, so in the beginning this was a terrible combination. But here's how I got through it:First, I realized that my boyfriend's snoring gets louder as the night goes on, and thus if I can fall asleep first it will be a long time before he gets loud enough to wake me up. So unless he's exhausted and needs to pass out, he usually waits until I'm already asleep to allow himself to nod off. Generally this means him staying up watching tv, reading a book, or just relaxing for 15 or 20 minutes until he's sure I'm out.The second thing and most important thing beyond this is just that I had to adapt; plain and simple. Basically, the more I put up with the snoring, my body got trained to first deal with it a little and eventually to not even be that bothered by it.This brings me to number three: ear plugs. If you buy the squishy, disposable ones from the drugstore they're really not so uncomfortable. For me the trick was to ONLY use them as a last resort. I'd try and try and try to go back to sleep, and often times would succeed. If I got worried too much time had passed I'd get up and put in the ear plugs. But by often succeeding without them, my body got trained to put up with the noise and sleep despite it. Now I very rarely ever each for plugs, unless my boyfriend has a cold (then the lawnmower sound becomes that of a jet) or if I have a really important meeting early in the morning. I still want to kick him sometimes when it's really bad, but I can usually fall back to sleep in spite of it now.Good luck!
A
male
reader, C. Grant +, writes (10 March 2011):
 This probably isn't an issue for the OP since they're young, but I'll chime in on SY's post. Obstrucive Sleep Apnea (OSA) is a potentially life-threatening disorder. The air passages can collapse so that the involuntary breathing reflex is impeded. The brain fires off all sorts of messages to "wake up" the sleeper, so that that the voluntary breathing reflex is enabled -- sometimes every 130 seconds. That has all sorts of implications, such as a huge increase in blood pressure, and an interruption in the sleep cycle essentially preventing REM sleep. In short, it's bad news.
The way to deal with OSA is a CPAP (Continuous Positive Airway Pressure machine) -- a mask that delivers higher pressure air through the nose that keeps the airways open. A CPAP definitely gets rid of snoring, and restores REM sleep. As I said earlier, that's probably more than someone in their early 20s needs, unless they're overweight.
...............................
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (10 March 2011):
 I created a contract that me and my fella both signed, committed to medical intervention if one of us starts snoring down the road. Namedly him, because I am the one who can NOT sleep with a snorer. It drives me craaaaaaaaazy.
Try ear plugs, try nudging him into a different position, but if those aren't working, cuddle for awhile and then go sleep in a different room. It's not the most romantic thing, but sister - you need your sleep. You need to be able to function! Do not suffer with the snoring and turn into a zombie...
Good luck!!!
...............................
A
female
reader, Sincerely Yours +, writes (10 March 2011):
 "If you suspect sleep apnea - that's the noise when they STOP ALL THE NOISE and you are lying their waiting for them to BREATHE again - then get some medical advice."
Sorry I just want to clarify that. It was a brilliant point and never would have thought of it.
What she was saying is that sleep apnia is a nighttime breathing disorder during which a person stop breathing for short periods of time...
If you hear him breathing, then... no breathing... for a few seconds, and then he breathes extra loudly once and continues, and the process continues, then you should see a doctor.
I am sorry birdy! I just felt like your wording there was a little foggy but it was such an important point, i wanted to make sure the OP got it.
...............................
A
female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (10 March 2011):
 Ear plugs. Leave the TV on. Poke him and tell him to switch over to his other side. Nasal strips.
But every once in a while - you have to get a good night's sleep - so switch rooms. Some nights it's easy to put up with; other nights it's not. Try to live with it and adapt as much as you can without losing too much sleep - the downside is sleeping apart and losing that intimacy is such a loss.
I know; my partner has been a constantly traveling businessman all our married life - but even though I miss him - I still hate being woken up at night.
If you suspect sleep apnea - that's the noise when they STOP ALL THE NOISE and you are lying their waiting for them to BREATHE again - then get some medical advice.
...............................
A
male
reader, C. Grant +, writes (10 March 2011):
My wife tried holding a pillow over my face once. Fortunately (at least for me) she gave up before it was permanently effective.
World-class snoring can be associated with sleep apnea, which can be life-threatening. So it might be worth getting him checked out medically. Otherwise, in addition to nasal strips there are also dental appliances which claim to be effective.
The low-tech answer is distance, as in separate rooms. And if the noise comes through the wall, try something that generates white noise, like a fan.
...............................
A
male
reader, uncle bob +, writes (10 March 2011):
 If he's anything like me, he suffers from "sleep apnea".I've had this condition since my early teens.My snoring was incredible and I would also stop breathing in my sleep. Only to be partially awaken by a sudden jolt of adrenaline(my brain telling my body I'd better start breathing again, not too good for the heart by the way)Even though I thought I was sleeping at least 8 hours a night, I was barely getting any restful sleep at all.I was ALWAYS tired!It wasn't until I was 47 that I went to a sleep clinic and was properly diagnosed. I now use a C-PAP(continuous positive air pressure)machine. To assist my breathing at night. Since the day I started to use that machine, I haven't made a single sound. Except, I'm told, the occasional "fart"! (kind'a gross, but funny)I guess nothing can be done about that!Ask your boyfriend to ask his doctor about having a sleep study done.If he does have sleep apnea, and begins to use a C-PAP machine, his life will be totally transformed! He'll live longer too!The machine is about the size of a small toaster, is silent, and sits on the bed side table. A light hose goes from the machine to a small mask he wears over his nose.The mask is so comfortable, he won't even notice he's wearing it.Good luck!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2011): He should go to a doctor to see what is causing the snoring. There are a few different remedies such as a new pillow to stop snoring and mouthpieces. You should get wax ear plugs for now and or start sleeping in another room so that you get some sleep. Good luck.
http://www.stopsnoringtips.com/tips.htm
...............................
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (10 March 2011):
 Actually, I say you get a big sock and ram it right into his gullet and hold it in play with duct tape! Yay socks!!!
LOL..just kidding!
I concur with the Anon Male's post about ear plugs. They are a life saver and a half for you! A friend of mine uses them every time she goes places with her mom, because her mom snores like a chainsaw.
Otherwise, some medical solutions are a possibility too. I know you also never mentioned this, and I'm not judging at all, but if he is overweight, the fat in his jaws/neck could be enhancing the problem too.
...............................
A
female
reader, charliesdevil73 +, writes (10 March 2011):
 My fiance snores and smacks his lips in his sleep at least 2 nights a week. He does it more when he's tired, sick, or drunk. I use earplugs and those work great. I have a little trinket box on the night stand where I put them so there is easy access at all times of the night.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2011): If the nose strips don't work, I would suggest that he goes to his doctor. He may have nasal polyps or sleep apnea. Snoring is a sign of both of those problems. Sleep apnea can be dangerous. I'm not trying to scare you, and you should have him try the strips first. (I find them with all of the other nose stuff - like sprays - at the grocery and drug stores.)
...............................
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (10 March 2011):
 I understand there are ways to help people not snore that much.
Other than that, you will have to ask Yogi to sleep in another room :-).
...............................
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (10 March 2011):
 At drugstores, grocery stores, markets they have those nasal strips in the Pharmacy section. They actually work for most people, you could give those a shot. You could wear ear plugs, or fall asleep with nice spa, nature sounds on your iPod.
Has he ever broken his nose? I had a previous boyfriend who had broke his nose and has suffered nasal issues ever since. Loud snoring being one of them. If he's broken his nose, he will need corrective surgery to fix it. In which will fix the snoring.
Lastly, if it's absolutely horrible and he doesn't have the $ to fix it, and if none of the above suggestions work..then you or him will have to sleep in another room.
...............................
A
female
reader, SweetSmoochy +, writes (10 March 2011):
 maybe try some music? Either on headphones or ambient?Another thing is try to figure out why he's snoring. Does his jaw seem to relax back into his neck when he sleeps? That causes snoring and can be relieved by a special mouth guard. Is he simply very exhausted? That can cause snoring. Does he have allergies or breathing difficulties? There are medications for allergies and breathing problems that may help. Also, try the nose strips. They work for some people and not for others, so maybe they'll work for him!! Another thing. It sounds like you already are, but make sure you're sensitive and nice about this. He's not doing it on purpose.
...............................
A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (9 March 2011):
 Most people snore. Some people say sew a tennis ball under your partner's shirt, or pinch him whenever he's snoring. I think that's just rude and it won't be long before he snores again. I used nose strips. They don't work so we sleep in different bedrooms. I like to feel him next to me too, but there is no need to sleep next to each other when in dreamland you drift off to different realms. You can hold each other for 30 minutes until one of you falls asleep, then you can go to another bedroom. He's living in a one bedroom? I think having more rooms give you the luxury of a peaceful night's sleep.
...............................
A
female
reader, Rebeccaa  +, writes (9 March 2011):
 Hi, maybe you could get him to the doctors so they can give him snoring tablets.. or you could sleep in a different room if it is really affecting you, you do need some sleep!Good luck, :)
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2011): Have you tried ear plugs? Or getting him some medical advice? Snoring is treatable, if not cureable in most cases.Flynn 24
...............................
|
