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For the girls: Would you dump your boyfriend if you found out he was a 25 year old virgin?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 November 2010) 21 Answers - (Newest, 14 November 2010)
A male United Kingdom, anonymous writes:

This question mainly applies to women but I was wondering if you would dump your boyfriend if he told you one day that he was a virgin and that he was over the age of 25 (I'm 23 but considering the worst case scenario for me).

I could have lost it in uni but I was waiting for the right person. I nearly lost it in a one night stand but couldn't get past foreplay due to alcohol. Afterwards I felt bad for how I treated the girl (I was 20) and realised that I didn't like sleeping with a girl I hardly knew. So I thought I'd rather have it when I'm in a relationship.

My problem is that at university considering its talked about on a regular basis especially on nights out, I often feel left out because I haven't done it. I've started dating again now as the last 2 years I've had some problems to deal with and didn't want to get a girlfriend involved.

View related questions: foreplay, get a girlfriend, one night stand, university

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A female reader, r_a_w_r1645 United States +, writes (14 November 2010):

r_a_w_r1645 agony auntnot at all. im only 15, but wouldnt you want a guy that you no you would be his first or knowing he doesnt have any std.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2010):

Would I dump my boyfriend if I discovered he was a twenty-five-year-old virgin? My answer? A big, fat NO.

I actually lost *my* virginity at 25, and though that wasn't your question, you're not the only one who has waited that long... and yes, that was by choice on my part.

If I were dating a guy that had remained a virgin for that long, I'd actually be quite relieved... no chances of getting an STD from him, and very little chances of that guy cheating on me in the future. I'd be honored if he considered me important enough to share this information with me, let alone if he actually decided to lose his virginity to me.

Plus, there's the fact that, though he would be bound to be clumsy, as a first-timer, he'd have his entire sexual life in front of him, and there would be room for improvement. If I'm dfating a guy that has lots of experience and he's really bad at sex, then I know he is unlikely to improve in the future.

Just one friendly word of advice from a girl... make sure to be considerate when you finally do decide to have sex with a girl. Being a virgin doesn't excuse lack of finesse; if you're unsure she's having a good time, just *ask*. Not all girls will tell you, but most will be glad to at least show you what they want from you. And yes, 99% of the time that is an orgasm, which bear in mind isn't easily attainable by intercourse alone (for more than 90% of women, in fact). Try to read on ways to pleasure a woman, so that you won't get bitter memories on your first time. Avoid trying to go hunting for the g-spot on your first try; most men don't ever get it right even after dozens of times of trying, and some women don't even *have* one. Concentrate on stimulating her clitoris and being attentive to her responses and you'll be fine... although there are some women whjo unfortunately can't get orgasms even with clitoral stilumation, most will greatly appreciate your efforts.

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A female reader, misLadYd.. South Africa +, writes (4 November 2010):

misLadYd.. agony auntthats super super cool.dont be ashamed.being virgin is awesome as its so special.save it for as long as you want.id never dump a virgin lol.its a great gift.

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A female reader, MoonLux United States +, writes (4 November 2010):

MoonLux agony auntWhy would I? Just because you're a virgin doesn't mean you don't know how - and - how cool and fun would it be to be with someone and find out the yays and nays. Dont worry, you'll be fine. I think it's awesome you're holding out for the right one.

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A female reader, Natalie:) United Kingdom +, writes (3 November 2010):

Natalie:) agony auntNo. Unless they lied, but that's the principle not because they were a virgin.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (3 November 2010):

CindyCares agony aunt I DID meet a 23 y.o. virgin and, rather than dumping him, I married him. Unluckily I can't say there has been a " happily ever after ", but that had absolutely nothing to do whatsoever with his initial lack of experience.

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A female reader, Elydiese United Kingdom +, writes (3 November 2010):

No of course not. Would you dump your girlfriend if she was a 25 year old virgin it would just be a pathetic excuse if they did

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2010):

No way!! i think if you are a virgin at 40 its great, if you are waiting for that right person then thats great!! dont rush into things...

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A female reader, zhuqiuyue China +, writes (3 November 2010):

zhuqiuyue agony aunt

No worries, the vast majority of women wouldn't.

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A male reader, Jmtmj Australia +, writes (3 November 2010):

Jmtmj agony auntI didn't say anything about lying, nor am I saying to tell somebody immediately after sleeping together, I'm just saying that its not really anybodies business.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (3 November 2010):

chigirl agony auntAs for the "telling after you've slept together", I would dump you then if you had the nerve to lie to me. Not only shows it disrespect, but also disloyalty and distrust. Like you had used me only for sex. I'd kick you to the curb if you lied to me about your virginity. Besides, anyone would be able to tell you are a virgin.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (3 November 2010):

chigirl agony auntI I cared about the guy and liked him it wouldn't bother me too much. It just means I wouldn't jump to bed with him right away as he (you) wanted it to be with someone special, and I'd be afraid he would regret it if he had sex with me. So I'd take it slow and let him make up his mind about whether he wants to take the relationship to the next level or not. And then I'd make sure to teach him well.

But, I wouldn't want a one night stand or anything causal with a virgin. If I was to be with him it'd be when I have genuine feelings for him, and he returns those feelings, and I know we can take our time to explore each other physically. A rushed one nighter would just be disastrous.

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A female reader, BettyBoup United Kingdom +, writes (3 November 2010):

BettyBoup agony auntNo not at all. If I really liked you I would accept you for who you are. I'm sure I would feel pretty special to be the woman who you felt you wanted to lose your virginity to. I think you should tell your furture girlfriend, once you've got to know her. Honesty is the best policy. That way you both know what to expect when you do have sex. She won't judge you on your abilities in the scak so there will be less pressure for you. She will be able to guide you and you won't feel like you have to pretend you know what you're doing.

If a girl is put off by the fact you are a virgin, then is she the right girl for you to lose your virginity to? A girl who would dump you just because you've been waiting for the right person, is not the right person! I don't think many girls would do this, unless they are either just wanting some sexual fun, or if they are judgemental. Either way, not the right girl for you. You're looking for someone special who will accept and love you for who you are.

Relax and you'll meet the right person. Concentrate on getting to know them and having fun. Try not to worry about how they will react when you tell them. I know several men who are around 25 and still virgins. They are really good guys and have been waiting for the right girl too. I hope you find her.

Good luck.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (3 November 2010):

Honeypie agony auntNo. I see nothing wrong with it. I think I'd rather sleep with a virgin then a he-whore any day.

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A female reader, xanthic United States +, writes (3 November 2010):

xanthic agony auntI wouldn't. It'd take something a lot worse for me to want to break off a relationship with someone, experience (or lack thereof) is a non-issue.

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A female reader, sophiejayne United Kingdom +, writes (3 November 2010):

I personally think that this isn't something to be worrying about, and if the girl you get with doesnt like the fact that you are a virgin, then 10 times out of 10 that girl is probably a slag and doesnt deserve your heart. You actually have came across to me as a really loving person that wants to treat a girl and not just use her for sex like most men do. I think that by you not losing your virginity yet will make women like you more not less, so don't worry about it. Just relax and wait until your sure you've found the right girl.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

the question was for women

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A male reader, Jmtmj Australia +, writes (3 November 2010):

Jmtmj agony auntYou could always just tell your future girlfriend after you've actually slept together...

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A male reader, Boonridge McPhalify United Kingdom +, writes (3 November 2010):

Boonridge McPhalify agony aunti'm gay but i would enjoy devouring his innocence like a wild beast. surely this has got to be a turn on ladies?

how often do girls get an opportunity to teach and mold someones skills from the get go?

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A male reader, Boonridge McPhalify United Kingdom +, writes (3 November 2010):

Boonridge McPhalify agony aunti'm gay but i would enjoy devopuring his innocence like a wild beast. surely this has got to be a turn on ladies?

how often do girls get an opportunity to teach and mold someones skills from the get go?

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A female reader, LilPixie United Kingdom +, writes (3 November 2010):

LilPixie agony auntI wouldn't, no. If anything i'd find it great that you've waited for the right person.

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