First he wants me, then he wants me to leave. It's hard to feel secure in this relationship!
Q. Okay, I am confused and not sure if anyone can understand this. I love my boyfriend very much. I have had enough relationships in the past that have broken down, some of them have been abusive. I often ended up with mismatched males really but...
A. 5 August 2005: You cannot stop yourself for feeling like he doesn't want you around unless you know that he wants you around! Considering the statement you made about having low self-esteem, you are the one allowing yourself to be treated in that manner. Please ... (read in full...)
In 7 months, he's never taken me out or called on a weekend. Is he already in a relationship?
Q. HI, I'm 24 and have been going out with my boyfriend that is 17 yrs older than myself for 7 months. The thing is in all this time he has never taken me out or called after work or indeed on a weekend. I have asked him many times if he is married ...
A. 5 August 2005: Milly, it sounds to me like this guy is not into you. He is probably strining you along. In any case, you need to confront him (if you havent't done so alread). Find out why he doesn't call after work or on weekends, why he hasn't taken you out ... (read in full...)
My fiance has decided to become a Buddhist monk and he's already taken his vows of celibacy!
Q. Dear Cupid, My fiance has decided to become a buddhist monk. He has tried this before we got together. He said that he wanted to marry me, and believe me, I have given him ample opportunity to change his mind. He just broke the engageme...
A. 3 August 2005: Sounds like this guy has already made up his mind about what he wants to! You need to ask him direct questions and have him explain what he wants and expects from the relationship. As it is he is sending you mixed signals. Is he interested in being ... (read in full...)
He's going to jail for a long time. Do I wait?
Q. Dear agony aunt, I am in a relationship with a man who has gone to jail and is expecting a really long sentence. The thing is, I was only with him for 2 months before he got arrested. Should I wait for him? I don't feel as strong for him as I did...
A. 2 August 2005: In my opinion, you should not wait for this guy. You really don't know this guy well. Waiting for him may prove to be a waste of your time. And besides, that when he comes out, he will be a changed man - and you may not like the changes very much. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is sweet and caring, but he really ogles other women!
Q. My boyfriend is genuinely sweet and caring, but when it comes to looking at other girls he makes me feel really uncomfortable. The last episode was yesterday when we were on the train and he saw this girl sitting with her boyfriend in a short skirt. ...
A. 25 July 2005: Try talking to him about it. In my experience, guys usually deny that they are doing it. And sometimes they are so used to staring at other women, that they don't even realise what they are doing. If talking fails, give him a taste of his own ... (read in full...)
For six years I've been having a sexual relationship with my aunt!
Q. Dear agony aunt, I am a 25 year old guy and a few years ago I noticed my aunt (48) was flirting with me quite a lot. I have been attracted to her for some time but have controlled it. Anyway we would be alone and she would casually touch me or gi...
A. 25 July 2005: You have found yourself in a dead end, stickly situation. You have been in that situation for way too long. Don't allow 6 more years to pass by and you are still in that relationship. Your aunt, had time to meet a guy her age, start a family, ... (read in full...)
I want to break up with my girlfriend, but she's emotionally blackmailing me and threatening self harm...
Q. I really need to get out of my relationship for my own health and for my future that I could have, but my girlfriend won't let me have. She is emotionally blackmailing me saying she will hurt herself if I leave her and I am the most unhappy I have ...
A. 25 July 2005: That's a chance you will have to take! It is very commendable that you will stick around to ensure that she does not hurt herself, but, if this lady loved you, she would not black mail you like that! She would not try to make you stay, when you ... (read in full...)
She's thrown me out, but I always cave in and go back to her. Now I want to guarantee we stay together...
Q. Can anyone help me? I have been seeing my g/f on and off 4 3 and half years. I love her more than anything, but my relationship is causing so much tension. We have a very passionate relationship, and in the past, my g/f has thrown me out of the ho...
A. 25 July 2005: You seem to really love this woman, but are you sure, she loves you just as much? It isn't fair to you to be married to someone who does not give you as much love as you give them. I am sorry if this comes across harshly, but from what you wrote in ... (read in full...)
I had to ask my partner to leave our home and now he says that's it between us!
Q. I have recently split up with my partner of 7 years. We have a 1 year old son and the only reason we split was because we could not live together any more. I love him deeply and he still loves me but I don't know if we are going to get back tog...
A. 25 July 2005: Are you sure you really want him to leave the home? Did you ask him to leave out of anger and frustration, or did you both try everything to make it work? Perhaps he was upset when he told you it was over for good, and when he has some time to ... (read in full...)
Not sure if this guy is really serious. He just brushes me off about our future...
Q. Hi, I'm 16 years old and ever since me and my boyfriend broke up a year ago from a 4 year relationship it's been hard for me to meet someone that I can get serious with. I've been seeing someone now for about 5 months and I feel that he could be...
A. 12 July 2005: Because you just got out of a serious relationship, you may be feeling the need to have another one. But you should take it slowly. Don't concentrate too much on what will happen in years to come. Enjoy the relationship in stages that way you won't ... (read in full...)
I want to marry my 50-year-old boyfriend, but Mum thinks I should find a boy my own age!
Q. I'M 18 and love my 50-year-old boyfriend very much. We met five years ago at a family barbecue. He loves me and has asked me to marry him, so we've set a date this time next year. The problem is I don't always understand him and this has...
A. 12 July 2005: I am in the process of ending a relationship that has been on and off for 3yrs. The man is 24 and a half years older than I am. In the begining, our relationship was beautiful and very interesting. But lately it has become very boring and we argue ... (read in full...)
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