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female
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*illy
writes: HI,I'm 24 and have been going out with my boyfriend that is 17 yrs older than myself for 7 months. The thing is in all this time he has never taken me out or called after work or indeed on a weekend. I have asked him many times if he is married or got a girlfriend but he swears to me that he hasn't. I feel like I'm falling for this man but fear I'm being taken for a ride. Should I just dump him? Please HelpMilly Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Ask MiMi +, writes (5 August 2005):
Milly, it sounds to me like this guy is not into you. He is probably strining you along. In any case, you need to confront him (if you havent't done so alread). Find out why he doesn't call after work or on weekends, why he hasn't taken you out and exactly what he want and expects from you. If he is unable to give you a satisfactory answer, then dump him and find a man who is able to give you the care and attention you deserve.
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reader, NordicBeauty +, writes (9 July 2005):
If that silly man hasn't asked you out ONCE or called in seven months, then he's not a boyfriend & he's "not that into you"
You deserve a guy who is nuts over you...wants to be with you every chance he gets, can't wait to get home, shower, clean up & plan a romantic evening with you, and he'll phone you at the spur of the moment, just to say he's thinking about you.
When guys are head over heels with a girl...NOTHING, will prevent them from showing it !
They buy flowers, cards, gifts,etc & are delighted to see your radiant face & happy heart...that's Love !
This guy you've been with 7 months does not appreciate you or care about your relationship.
In my opinion he's a loser with a capital "L"
Take out the trash hon...punt him to the curb.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2005): His behaviour is suspect. He may not be married but something's up. You need to ask him and find out what's going on with this guy. Sadly, many a woman has lost her heart to a wonderful new man, only to find out later, to her horror, that he is indeed not the single, carefree bachelor he made himself out to be, but a husband and a father. This is truly embarrassing, because often, if you look back, you will see the signs, as you are doing now.
The sudden unavailability over weekends is a big sign. Other behaviours you need to watch for: not taking you to his place, not giving you his home number, the 'don't call-me, I'll call you' messages. If he does any of this..I would certainly be asking him questions. If it turns out he's married...dump the jerk and withdraw for a while and lick your wounds. Somewhere out there is someone who will be able to treat you better and more honestly. And whatever happens, don't believe the 'My wife-doesn't-understand-me' routine. Too many women have fallen for this. Don't join the ranks of women who mess with married men...that degrading to oneself and so disrespectful to his wife and kids. One may have ta ask themselves, "what might be our moral responsibilities, if any, to the wife and children of the person with whom you are conducting the affair?" After all they are the innocent people whose lives will be hurt deepest if an affair takes place.
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reader, becky05 +, writes (6 July 2005):
7 months is a long time to be seeing someone and have never been taken out for a weekend!this mans behaviour sounds suspicious and I would question him further. How much do you really know about him?Talk to him and tell him you wish to see more of him, if he refuses or gets cagy, i would seriously think about ending your relationship.
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