| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: Hi, I'm 16 years old and ever since me and my boyfriend broke up a year ago from a 4 year relationship it's been hard for me to meet someone that I can get serious with. I've been seeing someone now for about 5 months and I feel that he could be the one but I'm not sure if he really wants to take it there with me. I know he likes me but when I ask about us going further he just brushes it off... what do I do?
View related questions:
broke up Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Ask MiMi +, writes (12 July 2005):
Because you just got out of a serious relationship, you may be feeling the need to have another one. But you should take it slowly. Don't concentrate too much on what will happen in years to come. Enjoy the relationship in stages that way you won't skip any of them. It is better for him not to speak about the future now, than to promise you things in the future that he cannot and will not be able to fullfil.
A
female
reader, pinksoftkitten +, writes (12 July 2005):
I understand the need to 'get serious', but rather than concentrating on him or any other man for that matter, you would be far happier if you concentrated on yourself. If he weren't in your life, what things would make you happy?? Pampering yourself, friends, family, interests. A man finds a needy woman a major turn off. Act like you don't need him, or any other man by spending some of your love on yourself. You obviously have a lot of love to give, but giving your love away is not a good thing. You need to realise that a man has to earn your love, and they respond to a woman much better when they work towards getting her to love him, so back off from this guy. You are a very special young lady, and you deserve to have fun, you are at an age where you don't have to wait around for a guy to have fun with, call up your friends, hang out, but don't bother him, and he will find you much more attractive and not so needy. This goes for any guy. They are simple creatures really, when you know how to treat them. Be pleasant to him, happy in front of him, but always always always put yourself first!! This is not selfish, it's wise.
...............................
A
reader, becky05 +, writes (12 July 2005):
youre still a bit young to be thinking about settling down, enjoy your time with this boy and take things as they come.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2005): If you're only sixteen and met your ex five years ago, you've been with "someone" since you were 11! Good gods, girl, when are you going to have some Me Time, do you think?It's absolutely ESSENTIAL to your development as an adult to learn who you are without the crutch of a relationship to "define" you. How can you ever know what kind of a person you are, how to love yourself for just being you, how to entertain yourself... if you've never practiced being Just You, without a boyfriend? You're on the brink of adulthood, and you've always been "coupled up", as if that's necessary, desirable or good. It's not. And now you're pushing some other guy to be your Other Half? No, no, a thousand times no.Forget about looking for someone to "get serious with". You need to get serious with yourself! Spend some time relaxing alone, learn to be happy with who you are. Develop interests that you can pursue on your own, things that don't require the addition of a boyfriend. Don't think that you need a relationship with anyone to complete your life. (Incidentally, sorry to rain on your parade, but have you ever considered how howlingly unlikely it is that there is One Golden Mate, intended by divine providence just for you? Sorry, but there is no "The One", so you can stop looking any time. There's also no Tooth Fairy.)The guy you're with has shown his feelings and made them plain. By brushing off your questions about going further, he's as much as saying 'thanks, but no thanks'. Take it as a sign that this is a really good time to give yourself a break from dating.Concentrate on your studies. Work hard, top your classes, get accepted into uni - or get a really good job. Then, in a year or so, after you've experienced what it's like to be a young adult who loves who she is and doesn't need anyone to make her life complete... THEN start looking for a boyfriend. The difference in the quality of guys who will be interested will be amazing to you.Listen to what I'm tell you. It's from the heart.
...............................
|
