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*rabyesque

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*rabyesque's profile:

I'm 17 and in my last year of university. I'm dating a sweetheart of a guy that I've known since I was 11. He's my first boyfriend and we've been dating about two years. He'll probably be my last boyfriend too, since we're fairly sure we'll end up getting married in a horribly cliche high-school-sweethearts sort of way. One catch, though. We now attend universities that are 800km away from each other and so have to content ourselves with a long distance relationship. It's hard and stupid and awful and I hate it, but we manage somehow. Neither of us are willing to compromise our education just to make our relationship easier. But in a couple of years (argh! years!), we'll get shacked up and there will be much rejoicing.

Other than trust and faith and all that magazine mumbo jumbo, I think the key to a bloody awesome relationship, is to keep a sense of humour. If you don't think your relationship is fun and lovely and brilliant and the best bloody thing in the whole damn world, then what's the point? Why even bother?

He told me I was smelling and dirty..this has destroyed my self-esteem! What should I do?

Q.   my bf and I have been together 3 years, he is 26 i am 21, we where having sex the other night and he said that i was smelly and slimy and that i needed to take a shower, once we finished he said that i was smelly again and that i was dirty and that ...

A.   17 November 2006: Um. I don't get why you're hurt. Sex can be messy and smelly and crazy. That's the reality. He asked you to have a shower, that's all-- why on earth are you heartbroken by this? A smarter reaction would've been to say, "sure, care to join me?". He's ... (read in full...)

He's a virgin but I want him! How long should I wait?

Q.   My sex life is aweful!!! I've been seing this guy but he's still a virgin and he says he doesn't think he wants to have sex with me and that he's scared. I'm really frustrated because i'm used to being sexually active and now he's not making me ...

A.   17 November 2006: Wow, if you were a guy pressuring your girlfriend into sex, everyone would call you a chauvinist pig. This is NOT okay just because you're a girl. How old are you? ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend has female friends that see him more than I do!

Q.   My boyfriend of seven months says he loves me and has talked of a future together. Problem is I have three children and so am tied to the home quite a bit. He has none and came out of a six-year relationship with someone who had children and it ...

A.   16 November 2006: You're just feeling insecure. You have kids, she doesn't, they're friends-- it makes sense to you. But he's with YOU. If he wanted this female friend, he'd probably have gone for it by now. That being said, make the effort to see him a bit more ... (read in full...)

Can I reduce the pain of losing my virginity by using my fingers?

Q.   Right, I'm quite scared about losing my virginity! But if I finger myself regularly will this make it hurt less? ...

A.   16 November 2006: If you don't mind breaking your own hymen (pretty much losing your virginity to yourself), go for it. It will definitely make first-time sex hurt a lot less. But you don't have to do it "regularly" for it work. If your boyfriend fingers you twice or ... (read in full...)

He looks miserable, and so am I. Should I have another go with my ex?

Q.   Do I try one last time with my ex? After 7 months apart I met up with my ex recently and was shocked to see him looking a state and he appeared to be really miserable.... I realised even though he hurt me greatly after finishing our 6 year ...

A.   16 November 2006: Don't you dare do this to yourself. HE broke up with YOU, not the other way around. If he's miserable, that's his bloody problem. If he's still attracted to you, flaunt your stuff. But don't, I repeat, DON'T pursue him. He broke your heart. I... (read in full...)

My married lover won't commit. Should I end it?

Q.   Hi, I am 38. Divorced in September, I have been in a relationship with a married man for 19 mths. His wife knows about me since last Aug. The relationship has gone thru many hardships and many good times. I have walked away a few times during the ...

A.   16 November 2006: Let's break it down, shall we? 1) He's married! 2) His wife is obviously willing to fight for him, which means she loves him. 3) He's distant with you and gets angry (read: abusive?) if you don't take his calls when HE wants you to take them. ... (read in full...)

During my period I think about partying w/out him; off my period I'm so in love w/ him! What's wrong with me??!!

Q.   I love my boyfriend dearly, i really do, but at some times of the month - usually mid to late cycle he reall irritates me, and when he's not with me I am constantly thinking about going out with my mates and i fantasise about dancing and flirting ...

A.   16 November 2006: Your hormones are fluctuating with your cycle. Tell your doctor-- there are some simple pills you can take to regulate this if it is affecting your quality of life. On the other hand, it might have nothing to do your menstruation. There could be... (read in full...)

He told me he loved me and would wait for me; later I told him I loved him - Now he needs time to think! What's that about??

Q.   Okay, I have been in a serious relationship for about 8 mths. We are in our late 20s. He told me he loved me and would wait for me to feel the same. Well, about 2 months ago, I opened up to him. Then 2 days ago, he tells me that he can't picture ...

A.   16 November 2006: You're in your late 20s, which means that you're both probably thinking about marriage and life-time commitment. I hope you asked him WHY he doesn't seem himself spending the rest of his life with you. In any case, stay friendly with him but move ... (read in full...)

She got a DUI, I was supportive, then she broke it off with me!

Q.   Met this woman a few months ago, things were going great until she got arrested for DUI...That shattered her world, she has never been the same since...I've been very supportive but the next day of her court date, she broke off with me saying she ...

A.   16 November 2006: She's probably devastated and hates herself-- I bet she's a really nice, normal girl who is absolutely horrified at being arrested. She doesn't want to deal with anyone or anything right now. You've only been dating for a few months-- all the happy, ... (read in full...)

I broke off my affair b/c my fella found out. Now I'm thinking of my affair again!

Q.   dear cupid I know it was a terrible thing to do and i feel guilty every day, but this time last yr I was 4months into an affair with a guy from work. It started as flirting and it ended up getting quite serious, to the point where last christm...

A.   16 November 2006: Frankly, I think you're a bit of an idiot. You have to pick between X and your boyfriend once and for all. This is a classic case of trying to have your cake and eat it too-- you want stability with your current boyfriend and an exciting whirlwind ... (read in full...)

My wife had an affair and I went to therapy. It didn't work so I had strings of affairs since. What's next?

Q.   Married 7 years have 2 kids. Wife cheated in 1st year of marriage. Tried to deal. Can't deal. Been 2 therapy (couples and single off an on over that time)Have had strings of affairs since. Met a woman I feel is pretty damn suited 2 me. Still ...

A.   16 November 2006: It's time for a divorce. This marriage is dead. You don't love her, you're having sex with other women and you're obviously miserable. Stop putting yourself, your soon-to-be-ex-wife and your kids through hell. You haven't said a single positive ... (read in full...)

I want her back! Should I leave her alone.. should I continue talking to her and just hope for the best?

Q.   I just broke up with my gf about 2 months ago. We were together for 3 years until one day she just told me she didn't want to be with me because she wanted her own space. Later i find out that she was talking t some guy from work 2 days before we ...

A.   16 November 2006: You dated this girl for THREE YEARS! If she thinks that this new guy's love is on the same level as your love for her, then you're better off without her. On the other hand, it sounds like she's fishing for some reassurance from you. She loves yo... (read in full...)

He keeps bumping up against me in the canteen line at school...do you think he likes me?

Q.   im 16 and i fancy this boy at school. in the canteen when we were queuing up 2 get into the food bar its always quite crowded in there. we were tlking and he always pushes in 2 me gently but this time he pushed into me gently and we just stayed t...

A.   16 November 2006: Yes, from the sounds of it, he probably likes you. Guys like to touch just as much as girls do. Try bumping gently into him next time and see what he does. Good luck!... (read in full...)

She says I am too big and I'm hurting her! What can we do?

Q.   I have been going out with my girlfriend for about 1 month now. Shes 16 and im 18 she f**ked plenty of guys before, but when we f**ked the first time it was good she said that it hurt but we did it more and she says its too big, that it feels like ...

A.   16 November 2006: "Why is this?". You utter, utter prat. It's because you're TOO BIG. She's telling you, in plain and simple terms, what the problem is! She's only 16, which means that her body hasn't fully matured yet, and no matter how many guys you say she's ... (read in full...)

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