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male
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anonymous
writes: I just broke up with my gf about 2 months ago. We were together for 3 years until one day she just told me she didn't want to be with me because she wanted her own space. Later i find out that she was talking t some guy from work 2 days before we broke up. And on that weekend she told me they went out and she made out with him. I love her so much and i would do anything for her no matter what. we have been talking every once and awhile and we have even gone out acouple times behind the guys back. She tells me she thinks about me and has told me she misses me, and would come back to me but she doesn't want to hurt his feelings since he tells her that he also loves her so much. she says she doesn't know what se wants because she is afraid that i would be the same person with her. ever since we broke up i had realised what i had lost and would do anything to get her back. My question is Should i just leave her be or should i continue talking to her and hope for the best that we might get back together? I am so confused right now about it and there are times when i tell her t stop talking to me and she calls me 2 days later. I feel like letting go but i can't no matter what. thank you for any responses.
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female
reader, amandak  +, writes (10 February 2014):
Boyfriend i believe she is yes probably confused yes but also you shouldn't let her string you along like that it's hurting you over and over . I know that feeling, is the worst and you deserve better and so do i i just want to be loved like for real and them just love me . No other involved, oh how i wish :(
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2006): Hi it's me again and i wanted to say thanks for the answers youhave given me. She told me she does not love him but that she likes him. We haven't talked to her since i posted this message expect emails telling her about me knowing about him and having feeling about her talking to someone else. Well today i was at work and i get a text message from her saying "It's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all!" I was having a fine day not thinking about her and then i get this. Now i am thinking about her again and I don't want to get depressed about it. what does this mean since she sent me this. Should i still care and hope she returns or just let go completly? by the way i sent her a reply saying that i will always love her and if we were to get another chance in the future that i would make her remember the reason she fell in love with me and even more.
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female
reader, Arabyesque +, writes (16 November 2006):
You dated this girl for THREE YEARS! If she thinks that this new guy's love is on the same level as your love for her, then you're better off without her.
On the other hand, it sounds like she's fishing for some reassurance from you. She loves you but probably feels as if the relationship is getting a bit stale and wonders if it's really worth it. When she met this guy from work, she probably felt a rush of lust and affection that she enjoyed because it was new and fresh. Here's what I'd do-- tell her you do love her immensely and that you're a bit angry with her for playing around with your feelings and then STOP TALKING TO HER. Don't be melodramatic, just be aloof. If she pursues you, then it's you she really wants and she'll get a wake up call. If she goes with this other guy, then you're out of luck. Move on.
Good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2006): wow...I can see you have gone through this. She has told me that he has asked her to marry him, I feel like she is just saving me in case something goes wrong with him. I guess your right i should just move on and not ask questions. Damn it sucks so bad but i guess there is nothing i can do about it. thank you for your responses i guess you made me see things more clearly.
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male
reader, Lostandalone +, writes (16 November 2006):
 Why torture yourself? My father told me when I was a teenager to never ask questions you don't want to know the answer to. You can find someone else to talk to I'm sure. I know its hard but your sanity depends on it. I went thru myself so I know first hand how much it hurts and I was with her for 7 years. It gets easier as time goes along. As long as you let her think that what she is doing is okay she will be content in the situation. No one changes anything unless they are unhappy with it. Think about it. She has the new guy who she obviously likes and she has you who she loves. She has her cake and eating it to. Then she tells you that she doesn't want to hurt his feelings!!! What about yours?!?! Don't you have feelings??? So telling you all this didn't hurt your feelings??? Breaking up with you didn't hurt you but she did it nevertheless. So what makes him so important!!! Don't be a fool man. Thats only an excuse. Walk away and let her see how it is without you. You haven't done that. What do you have to lose??? She has already left you and has a boyfriend. What are you waiting for??? For her to tell you she's pregnant or she's getting married. Then what??? Your hearts ripped from your chest. Walk away. If she comes back fine, if not you have learned to make it on your own. Either way you win. It hurts now, I know, but you will make it, I promise.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2006): Alot of my friends told me the same thing but it's just so hard to let her go. She has changed my life in so many ways that i would literally do anything for her. I really don't want to lose her cause i doubt i will find anyone like her again. It hurts alot when she talks about him to me(i ask her what they do, maybe i shouldn't) but i just want to know everything about her. I guess the best thing would be to leave her alone, but i really feel I will lose everything and i will begin to fall apart if she's gone.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2006): Alot of my friends told me the same thing but it's just so hard to let her go. She has changed my life in so many ways that i would literally do anything for her. I really don't want to lose her cause i doubt i will find anyone like her again. It hurts alot when she talks about him to me(i ask her what they do, maybe i shouldn't) but i just want to know everything about her. I guess the best thing would be to leave her alone, but i really feel I will lose everything and i will begin to fall apart if she's gone.
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male
reader, Lostandalone +, writes (16 November 2006):
Well, I agree with babygirl up to a certain point. I wouldn't even give her an ultimatum. I would just leave her alone. She's right on one very crucial point. Never play second best. If she can't make up her mind thats fine but don't you have a mind to make up. Be second fiddle or lead the band. I made that mistake and trust me it hurt like hell to see her with the other guy. Don't do that to yourself.
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