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female
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anonymous
writes: Do I try one last time with my ex? After 7 months apart I met up with my ex recently and was shocked to see him looking a state and he appeared to be really miserable.... I realised even though he hurt me greatly after finishing our 6 year relationship (in which we bought a place together)I still love him. When we were together I was absolutely in love with him, thought he was "the one" and was very happy to think we'd spend the rest of our lives together. He broke up with me out of the blue because he said we weren't happy so wouldn't be in the future. I was happy though and now my heart is well and truly broken. When we broke up I tried and tried to get him to work at our relationship and re-find our happiness as he said he still loved, fancied and cared for me. I don't know if he stil loves or cares for me but I think he still fancies me as I was looking good when we met and he looked me up and down like he was still attracted to me. Do I offer to try again? I moved away a month after we broke up cos it hurt to be so close (yet so far) but I'm back in the area now. Do I ask to meet for a drink and tell him I still love him? or do I wait for him to get in contact? He's always been stubborn and cagey about his feelings but I don't want to waste time being utterly miserable if we can both be happy again!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2006): I agree with lostandalone. Ask him out for a drink or coffee and conversation and see what he says. I agree that if he does want you back, he needs to demonstrate it and work for it.
My recommendation would be that you both get into some joint counselling to work on the issues that caused you to break up in the first place. These need to be resolved, otherwise they will keep coming up, and you will be back in the same unhappy situation that led you to end it last time.
A
female
reader, Arabyesque +, writes (16 November 2006):
Don't you dare do this to yourself.
HE broke up with YOU, not the other way around. If he's miserable, that's his bloody problem. If he's still attracted to you, flaunt your stuff. But don't, I repeat, DON'T pursue him. He broke your heart. If he wants you back, let him say it, let him make the effort for once.
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A
male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (16 November 2006):
 I don't agree with bby gal06 because people do break-up and get back together and it works. Not all situations are alike. Just because it didn't work for her doesn't mean it won't work for you. Sometimes it takes being apart to make a person realize just how much the other means to them. Its not unusual. I say if you feel this way then ask him out for cofee or a drink and have cordial conversation. I won't be the one to ask back though. If he wants you he has to act like it and prove it. Don't ever let him think that he can do this again without recourse from you. If he loves you, he will do any and everything in his power to get you back. You said he looks miserable??? He might just need a really good friend right now, so be that for him. Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, bby_gal06 +, writes (16 November 2006):
 hiya
i personally wouldnt go bk if i had been in the situation i did it with my ex and it just gets worse than the first time.
i wouldnt advise you to go and get back with him even thought your heart says that you should but you just have a think, if he was the right one then why did you split up? and also what is the chances of him not being happy again?
to many people try it with ex's but your propbably to good for him and life dosent evolve about men so just get out there and live your life and wait for mr. right to come along.x
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