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male
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anonymous
writes: Met this woman a few months ago, things were going great until she got arrested for DUI...That shattered her world, she has never been the same since...I've been very supportive but the next day of her court date, she broke off with me saying she had lost all her feelings for me.... I know she is confused....Time off is good for her but what kind of support should I give her in the meanwhile.....Is that her emotions talking or did she really lost her feelings? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2006): It sounds as if her world was turned upside down. Getting arrested for DUI is not a fun experience (putting it mildly) and if she has to deal with an alcohol addiction as well..........then she has been jolted into making these issues her first priority. That being so, unfortunately it means any thought of a boyfriend or relationship has, of neccessity, taken a back seat.
Sorry, but reality has a way of breaking in to life.....I would continue to call her or send an email every so often, once in a while, and let her know you are there for her. Beyond that, it wouldn't be good to put too much hope in a relationship with her - at least, not now. Don't pressure her in any way, and see how she is a few months from now......
A
female
reader, LISAG +, writes (16 November 2006):
 Lost feelings usually mean, sorry to say, lost feelings. Don't bother with her unless she bothers with you. Let her contact you, she's not confused is she? She just got done for drink driving or drug driving whichever or both a DUI stands for. She'll ask for support if she needs it. I think she's making excuses. Leave it well alone, she will contact you if she's interested - trust me.
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A
female
reader, Arabyesque +, writes (16 November 2006):
She's probably devastated and hates herself-- I bet she's a really nice, normal girl who is absolutely horrified at being arrested. She doesn't want to deal with anyone or anything right now. You've only been dating for a few months-- all the happy, sweet, start-of-relationship, honeymoon feelings she'd been having for you probably feels unimportant in the face of her DUI, arrest and criminal record now. Be supportive and friendly, but back off the relationship. Eventually, she'll see that this isn't the end of the world, and probably revert back to her old self (albeit now being a little more careful about partying and getting drunk). Good luck.
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