How do I handle having been molested as a child? Do I just block out the memories?
Q. Hi, is it easier to psychologicaly handle being molested as a child and always remember where, when and who did. or to have blocked it out and start remembering as an adult.(figured it out a couple of days ago) it happened when i was around 5 years ...
A. 23 April 2009: Hi, as the other reader pointed out we are not licensed on here to give legal advice but we can give our experienced oppinions. I have known and have delt with quite a few molested kids and/or adults. Usually, when we all feel safe enough in our ... (read in full...)
Ideas on spicing up a relationship while remaining "pure"?
Q. Hello everyone! I'm 15 and I wear a purity promise ring. The vow my ring symbolizes is that I will not have sex until marriage, but oral sex and feeling up of any "private" area is also included in what I've sworn not to do. I have no problem with ...
A. 23 April 2009: Hi its me again. I see that you feel the need to clarify yourself depending on the answers you are getting. This could be because you are young and want to make sure that everyone is reading you right. Let me tell ya, people will often have ... (read in full...)
How can we be sure that sex helps in establish closeness and intimacy?
Q. I have a nice boyfriend. I want our relationship to become closer and establish intimacy. Is kissing and sex a good way of becoming closer in a relationship? Is kissing and sex a good way of establishing intimacy? How can be used as a way of esta...
A. 21 April 2009: Real honest, heart felt intimacy is when two people share their inner most secrets and feelings. It doesnt always have to include intercourse or acts of physical pleasure. Love making is a wonderful icing on the cake but first two people need to e... (read in full...)
He's sick and he's pushing me away
Q. My boyfriend is pushing me away because he is sick. He was there for me and saw me almost die last year when i was sick. He is going through a nasty divorce and his kids have already chosen the other side. He says he can't choose me over them ...
A. 21 April 2009: Well what is he sick with?? You just never know if when a guy says he wants to be friends if it means, i like you but dont get too attached or if he is feeling inadaquate or is he hidding something??? Its a tough one. I am a firm believer of ... (read in full...)
Falling for a friend; leave my husband?
Q. My situation is that I am a married woman with a child, my husband and I have not been on the same communication level for about a year. He and I both work all the time and I am also a full time student---never have time for each other. I have tried ...
A. 21 April 2009: Let me tell you that it is always easier to talk to a friend than the one you are with. The grass often seems greener on the other side. More often that not, once you stray to the other side and actually have a relationship, things get hard too. ... (read in full...)
How do we overcome our weight insecurities?
Q. Hiya everybody! My boyfriend and I both struggle with our weight and have insecurities about it. I think he's drop-dead gorgeous, but whenever I say so he thinks I'm kidding or mocking him. Any way to get him to believe me? (were both working on ...
A. 21 April 2009: Im not totally sure i understand the question but i think if i were you i would offer to go to a work out class or something together. Talk about your insecurities to him and maybe he will open up as well. If he still thinks you are good looking ... (read in full...)
Follow up: Starting a relationship when one is in jail
Q. Okay i Know i just asked a question but i don't think i was clear and it was confusing.. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/starting-a-new-relationship-while-one-is-in.html Here it goes... **************...
A. 21 April 2009: Well this one is easy. Dont start any relationship if the other party is IN JAIL. Regardless of how much of a great guy you think he is, the fact is that he IS in jail. I think you may be better off concentrating on someone who isnt in jail for... (read in full...)
Getting the man you want and keeping him!
Q. How does a woman show a man she really likes him and knows that she has found the ideal partner from the point of view of having recently met him, and knowing a few of his interests. How does she move the situation forward without making it look a...
A. 21 April 2009: If you really want to know if its meant to be let things happen naturally. We can all work towards making things happen but eventually our true selves will emerge and what is real will come to light. Keep being fun, understanding and not too push... (read in full...)
I don't want to lose a good friend, but she has girlfriend potential!
Q. I dated a girl i really liked. She liked me for a long time but I was in a relationship so when I split up with my girlfriend I hooked up with her. This is when I realized I found someone who was perfect for me, she had a bubbly personality that...
A. 21 April 2009: Honesty is usally always the best policy. Things can get so screwed up when two people arent honest especially in a situation like yours. Try telling her the truth. You may never know the truth if you dont tell her your true feelings and your fear... (read in full...)
What can I do to keep him? I really do love this man but I'm scared!!
Q. i got to be honest so I am kinds worried about my relationship. I have been so mean to my boyfriend for awhile know. I'm not too sure why buy I get so mad at him and sometimes its not his fault. I love him with everything I can! We are both under a ...
A. 21 April 2009: Hmm well thats a tuffy. No man likes a nagging woman. They dont like being questioned even if they should be. If you want to turn things around, my best advice would be to remember the woman he fell for in the beginning and do your best to be ... (read in full...)
He says he is not sure if he wants a relationship. Is there anything I can do to change his mind?
Q. I have been "dating" this guy for two months now. He says that he really likes me but doesn't see the need to label our relationship, at least not yet because he is not ready to be my boyfriend and he hasnt had a girlfriend in 2 years. My frie...
A. 21 April 2009: Really there is no need to label your relationship before it needs labeling. One thing a man hates is a woman who wants to push for more than he is ready for. When any human being is ready for something or wants something they usually go for it. ... (read in full...)
Ideas on spicing up a relationship while remaining "pure"?
Q. Hello everyone! I'm 15 and I wear a purity promise ring. The vow my ring symbolizes is that I will not have sex until marriage, but oral sex and feeling up of any "private" area is also included in what I've sworn not to do. I have no problem with ...
A. 21 April 2009: You are you, do what you feel you want to do. I respect that you want to remain a virgin, I really respect that especially today. The truth is however, if you feel that you want more, go for it. Use precaution and make sure whatever you do you ... (read in full...)
Please help ASAP! Should I stay or should I go?
Q. Okay- so i've been seeing this guy for about 4 months on and off. I've been taking things very slow because I really like him and I wasn't sure at the begining but my feelings have grown more and more lately. BUT- at the begin. when he was very into...
A. 21 April 2009: Always in the very beginning there is alot of infatuation and love making. As time goes on things settle down. If they settle down tooooo much, most likely is was more sexual than whole. Four months is awful short for one to loose interest. Ask, ... (read in full...)
Wants to be friends -- is there hope for a relationship?
Q. Hello guys, and thanks for reading my question. I recently broke up with my handsome about a month back, and he felt that it was better to be friends and was not ready for a relationship. I was hurt and upset and a bit emotional for a while, how...
A. 21 April 2009: Sometimes we are just too into putting a name on things. Trying to fit relationships and people into what we know. Sometimes, love and life are unknowns. Just go with the flow for awhile, see what happens. If you don't really know what to do, do ... (read in full...)
Please help ASAP! Should I stay or should I go?
Q. Okay- so i've been seeing this guy for about 4 months on and off. I've been taking things very slow because I really like him and I wasn't sure at the begining but my feelings have grown more and more lately. BUT- at the begin. when he was very into...
A. 21 April 2009: I hate to say it but I think if things are going downhill only after 4 months, he is for what ever reason backing off. Its very hard for someone on the outside to really know what is going on but if I had to guess, I would say he is definately ... (read in full...)
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