A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I dated a girl i really liked. She liked me for a long time but I was in a relationship so when I split up with my girlfriend I hooked up with her.This is when I realized I found someone who was perfect for me, she had a bubbly personality that brought her loads of attention, she was funny and she was very, very attractive. She was decent (I don't know how else to put it, but I mean she had good morals and I really like that). However on the first night we went back to her place and we got drunk and she tried sleeping with me (on the first date) This was fine because we had known each other for a long time but I turned her down because I really liked her. She was a little offended but understood and we arranged another date the week later. Now I promised her I would sleep with her after this date (to heat things up) and we agreed and this was fun because we liked each other. But I really liked her and I was getting more and more nervous about it.On the night after the date we went back to her place and I had a "failure to arise to the occasion" but because I was so embarrassed and nervous I passed it off has tiredness (It is not a problem any other time).The next day she wouldn't answer my texts. A few days later she told me her ex had been in contact and she was upset about him and didn't want to lead me on etc etc (it was an excuse because she was soon seeing someone else, not her ex). She was genuinely upset though as her facebook statuses shown.Anyways a long time has passed since this embarresing episode but recently she has been talking to me on my facebook saying how her new bf has been treating her bad and asking how I have been and about my relationships. I'm not sure whether she is just being the friend I used to have or hinting. But the main thing is I feel those same feelings again where I really like her. But this girl is hot and her bf is too i guess (I'd say if i was a seven, he would easily be a nine). What should I do guys this is really complicated I don't wanna lose a good friend but I have serious feelings for this girl. I have even been giving her advice to help save her relationship I mean I genuinely care. Im also too embarrassed over what happened that night to even ask her. What should I do???
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female
reader, anitaw4  +, writes (21 April 2009):
Honesty is usally always the best policy. Things can get so screwed up when two people arent honest especially in a situation like yours. Try telling her the truth. You may never know the truth if you dont tell her your true feelings and your fears about her and you. She may think since you are trying so hard to be her friend, you only care about her as a friend. Tell her you have feelings for her, tell her why you couldnt perform last time you were together physically. Woman usually respond well to that sort of thing. Tell her she is sooooo important to you that you are fearful of loosing her if you act on your true feelings. good luck
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