A
male
age
41-50,
*iries1982
writes:Hello guys, and thanks for reading my question.I recently broke up with my handsome about a month back, and he felt that it was better to be friends and was not ready for a relationship. I was hurt and upset and a bit emotional for a while, however, I have taken a positive step towards how I decided to treat this whole thing. I was a bit dependant on him and he was aware of that and did tell me that I needed to respect myself and once I did I would be hot property...Now that I have taken this major change I feel a lot better and he has seen this change, he has told me that he is very proud of me.We caught up for dinner at his place last week and as he has a birthday coming up I decided that I wanted to get him something that he could use before his actual birthday so I dropped into our favourite restaurant and purchased a dinner voucher that he could use with his mother, he was really touched and I wanted to show him how I appreciated how much he has shown me and what he meant to me, he was very greatul and the evening he was very jovial with me, we had a great time watching and watched a DVD towards the end of the night whilst he was sitting next to me he leant over and rest his head on my shoulder, and the following night I recieved a text message saying ,'hey gorgeous great to catch up last night and that I was looking good and doing great things and that he was proud.the following night he asked my mailing address so he could send me something, no idea what he just said that it would make sense when I recieved it, I dont expect anything just to be happy and for him to be happy.Last night I spoke with him on the ph and told him I was considering getting a tatoo, when I told his we chated about what I wanted and as the conversation went onto a different topic he was quick to touch back onto it saying, so this tat.... I wanted to get a barbwire band but he said that I would look like a bikie (he does no like bikies) and told me that no its no approved, chinese characters yes would look good but barbwire no not approved, he was not telling me that to be controlling but it was said in a context like we were together, and he seemed to want to talk along those lines.I dont want to ask him whats going on but I am confused about the whole thing, he is still being affectionate and texting me a fair bit and I am the one who from what I understand has stronger feeling but holding back my affection, should I give him time and see what happens? Thank you so very much for reading, all responses will be greatly appreciated.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anitaw4 +, writes (21 April 2009):
Sometimes we are just too into putting a name on things. Trying to fit relationships and people into what we know. Sometimes, love and life are unknowns. Just go with the flow for awhile, see what happens. If you don't really know what to do, do nothing.
A
male
reader, Dr. John +, writes (21 April 2009):
 I always advise good communications between two persons in any kind of relationship.
Don't leave doubt about his intentions but ask him what his intentions are toward you.
Then you will no longer have to guess. He will either tell you that he wants to persue a relationship with you or he just wants to be friends etc.
Too many people dance around an issue for too long and waste lots of time only to find out there was nothing to cause a solid connection or to find out they should have said something long ago and have wasted time they could have spent together.
In short, either you will find lasting joy or you will find temporary hurt. But if you find temporary hurt, you can go on to find someone else who will give you lasting joy. Doc
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