A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Okay- so i've been seeing this guy for about 4 months on and off. I've been taking things very slow because I really like him and I wasn't sure at the begining but my feelings have grown more and more lately. BUT- at the begin. when he was very into me- I wasn't sure and now that i'm sure- he doesn't seem that into me. He used to text, call and ask me out etc. BUT lately i'm always the one texting, calling etc first. He says that he's busy with work lately. He just went on a trip and I was so anxious to see him. He let me know when he came back but then said he had to talk to a business partner and would call 'later'. It's 9 p.m. and no call.. should I move on?
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2009): guys will not tell you the whole truth..i mean maybe it somewhat haas to do with work, but if a guy really likes you and work is crazy he will still make time for you. my guy worked in finance and had the craziest hours but still made time for me in the beginning. but then he started using the work excuse and then admitted that he lost interest, so it's most likely the case. sorry kid.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionps. this wasn't a sexual relationship
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much everyone!! I took your advice and I straight up asked him what was going on. He said that he likes me and is interested but is very busy with work at this time. He said that he didn't realize until I brought up the (valid)points that he was hurting me. He admitted that it's not a good time for a relationship. I'm glad he was honest but it still hurts. He wanted to be friends but I don't think thats a good idea for now. Do u think he "wasn't that into me" even though he said it was work or do u think his reasoning was legit? Thank you so much for ur help
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2009): wow, that sounds exactly like my past situation. he liked me more at first but then he grew on me and then he began slowly withdrawing from my life and it killed me. i got really angry with him because it was unfair. i hate how guys can't just man up and say they have lost interest, instead they take the sissy route and just disappear making you wonder what happened. in my case, i got the picture that he was losing interest and so we agreed on a FWB thing and it's still going on. i want a real relationship but i'll take this fwb stuff in the meantime.but sorry to say girl, he's just not that into anymore so move on. don't try to be an fwb because it will only torture you..
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female
reader, anitaw4 +, writes (21 April 2009):
Always in the very beginning there is alot of infatuation and love making. As time goes on things settle down. If they settle down tooooo much, most likely is was more sexual than whole. Four months is awful short for one to loose interest. Ask, maybe its not you. Go on your gut feelings. Back off a bit, see what he does.
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female
reader, anitaw4 +, writes (21 April 2009):
I hate to say it but I think if things are going downhill only after 4 months, he is for what ever reason backing off. Its very hard for someone on the outside to really know what is going on but if I had to guess, I would say he is definately having some doubts or second thoughts. You should ask him instead of becoming the insecure mess he is making of you. Since men don't always answer honestly, let your gut do the answering. Maybe you should back off and see what happens. If he just stops calling, well then it kinda looks like he has lost interest. Doesnt really matter why, just matters that he is backing off.. Go on that.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2009): Call. Say what you need to say so you don't regret not doing it later. Make him say yay or nay. Be bold and to the point. If you don't feel like you can do that, then you're not that into him or it's not worth it to you.
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