Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2009): I have been is same shoe as you have, my advice is to wait till she is little older, at least 15+ to confess anything to her. You can be kind romantic and all what you want to be toward her but confessing that you have feeling for her will make her uncomfortable, she might get scared and avoids you. You don’t need to confess your love verbally in order to show someone you care about them. Just be a good cousin, good friend. If she understand what is love she will show affection toward you too. While the time she growing up just enjoy the time with being around her; because the time won’t come back. As for anything sexual would be greatly destroy the relationship and it will start very serious issues in the family of your and the cousins. She is too young to understand anything sexual at this time, so if you feeling for her are sexual, is better to avoid her at all cost till she is 17+.Hope things works out for you. My best wishes.
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male
reader, sheperd  +, writes (8 July 2009):
Wait awhile make sure and dont jump into anything. she could use a couple of years to mature even in india. And you might find there is some other passion in your life that you want to pursue, your only 18 give it some time.
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female
reader, Danii-N-Dale  +, writes (7 July 2009):
 Okey im not going to have ago here but your 7 years older than her she is 11 and probably not even started puberty You might be confusing theese feelings as a sexual atraction when infact it might not be you may jus love her in a strong way but more like sister brother.And if you tell her it will confuse her as she may seem mature but is still very young and may not understand certain things.And if you do have theese feelings and you are sure on what they mean dont act ion them for your cousins sake please its best for both of you and plus if people close to find out they might turn against you very easy because most people will find it sick.Hope This Helps Message Me If You Need Any More Help -Danielle
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2009): I should say that im 11 and i love my 8 yr. old cousin, but not in a sex way, LOVING AND ACTING ARE DIFFERENT THINGS,but she is my age, so tell her in two years
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2009): I Think you need to see a physiatrist because that is sick! She is your cousin and even worst she 11years old a baby still...... GET HELP......Hope you do the right thing
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female
reader, babymama99 +, writes (3 July 2009):
 Cousin or not she is 11 years old. leave her alone.
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male
reader, ARVIND94  +, writes (3 July 2009):
i think you should talk more with your cousin about love romance and one day tell her that you love her round the way means.not directly .e.g i wanna say you something which was in my mind my heart that i love you.
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female
reader, imcurioustoo +, writes (25 June 2009):
ABSOLOUTLY NOT..... she is family not a lover that's sick I don't care about the culture or whatever...... do you wanna have mentally retarded children with birth defects an stuff? that's disgusting and you know it.. She's too young and you are too your 18 your just starting your life marriage should be the last thing on your mind.. Especially with your BLOOD RELATIVE.. That's sick!!!!! Marry a non relative.. You don't love her.. Your ill minded right now and I think you need counseling
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2009):
im sorry but eeeeeeeeeew shes 11 shes nt a teeenager prob nt started her perios yet nn no dont tell you love her it will confsue and scare the hell out of her
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male
reader, holikdad +, writes (8 June 2009):
One word, YUCK! 11 seriously? She isn't even a teenager yet.
Keep your stuff in your pants and keep quiet. Don't confuse her in the sexual arena like someone obviously did to you.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2009): I just wanna mention that having feelings for and acting on it are two completely different things. You cannot say that because of his feelings he is mentally disturbed, it's only when it is acted upon that breaks moral rationality - which is to be seriously advised against. Don't tell her any such thing as your love, she is as everyone says 'too young'.
I don't think cousin to cousin marriages are regarded as taboo over there. It's best to wait until she is of age and then ask her parents for her hand in marriage.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2009): Even in India that is too young, wait till she's at least fourteen and can make her own decisions.
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female
reader, happytobe +, writes (4 June 2009):
 I would like to point out that i did not do my research previously and did not know you are from India. Disregard my previous statement. I have no idea what is acceptible in Indian culture. I apologize. But Americans or people of similar cutures with similar beliefs in this situation, please refer to what i said.
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female
reader, inluvbutsad  +, writes (4 June 2009):
 Okay,Even I'm an Indian like you and you know wat I once had a crush on my 25 yr old cousin and I was just 11 !For you its just 6 yrs but for us it was a big difference and well I went and told him and he said that he had already understood that I liked him,And he didnt mind but he told me that he too kind of liked me but was afrid to tell cause when you are between the ages of 6-11 you don't feel that the opposite sex is attaractive,you feel its awful.So why don't you go and tell her and first make sure to know what she feels about u!
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female
reader, happytobe +, writes (4 June 2009):
Well being that you are 18 years old and she is 11 and any sexual interactions between the two of you would be extremely illegal I would say no, you shouldn't tell her and you shouldn't act on it. But that would only be an issue if she wasn't extremely creeped out. It is a very unusual thing for a cousin to fall in love with their cousin. She is an 11 year old girl. She probably still things guys are icky. And if that isn't the case I'm sure both of your parents would strongly disapprove anyway. I'm sorry to say it because love is a beautiful thing but I think it would be in your best interest to let this one go. Enjoy her as a cousing, nothing more.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2009): You are from good old India. If you are living in India now, you are in the wrong place looking for advice. Cultures differ too much in certain things. 11 years does sound too young but I get a feeling that the girl is more mature physically and mentally otherwise she cant have given you that vibe. Guys often get attracted to girls who send signals of liking the guys. It is a natural process. So I would think she likes you too. Sometimes a girl may inadvertently send the wrong signals. Sometimes a girl may irresponsibly send the wrong signals but only older girls do that. A 11 year old would be too innocent for that kind of bad behaviour. Knowing Indian families, I am sure you dont want to get in trouble in case the girl gets freaked out by your confession and complains to her parents. I cant be explaining to you how to do it. But if you are nice and tactful, you can break it to her in a way that wont end up in a disaster. If she doesnt share your feelings, you should stop pursuing her. She is too young for that kind of stuff now. In many traditional Indian love affairs, sex doesnt enter the equation until marriage. I would assume the same with yours too. But I too would warn you against that just in case. A moment's loss of control can result in a lifetime of troubles. So be careful in that area.
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female
reader, kaylagal +, writes (4 June 2009):
 Okay, I'm back. Initially I did not realize you are from India, and obviously the culture there is different from here.
I think she is still too young, so I would advice maybe you should put a hold on your feelings and allow for her to develop and mature. Maybe mention something to your family and they can talk to her family so they can put her on hold for you.
Good luck.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2009): She's 11 and you're 18?!?! NO!!! You should probably seek help... if this is a real problem that is...
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male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (3 June 2009):
 NO!
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2009): No you shouldn't. I don't believe you are in love with her, I think this feeling may pass, and if it doesn't, then you should stay away so you are not tempted to tell her or do anything about it. She's still a child and i'm certain she won't think of you in that way what so ever.
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female
reader, kaylagal +, writes (3 June 2009):
There is no way a normal and healthy 18yr old man can be in love with an 11yr old girl, no way. And then she's your cousin. I'm going to pretend, you're telling the truth and give you some advice, but I think this is a hoax
Simply put - there is something seriously wrong with you. Please seek professional help immediately. Your problem has the potential to send you to jail for a long time, and put you on the local county sex offendor list for the rest of your life.
Please, please seek help immediately. Dearcupid is not equiped for your kind of problems. Thanks.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2009): No, she is 11 years old!! Whatever the age of consent is in your country, I guarantee it's not that. Wait till she is of age if you are really that interested, but anything before then makes you a pedophile. Good luck.
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female
reader, superdolly +, writes (3 June 2009):
shes too young your 18 right? or older, don't confuse her its only cruel on her give her time to grow up she's still a child really
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