A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:So, me and this guy have just been through a break up, our relationship was a little rough around the edges mainly because he's 24 and I'm 16. I know I know, forget about the age a second. I'm really desperate to get him back and he says I need to prove I love him. So he wants to give me a tattoo of his initials. He literally said the words "I want to brand you" I just don't know what to do. I want him back so badly but should I get it done - I know he won't take me back if I don't.
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male
reader, Funluvver  +, writes (12 February 2013):
Run away from him as fast as you can. No real man would ever ask a woman to do something so demeaning. He would not only be a terrible partner, but imagine how terrible of a dad he would be.
RUN! You are young and have lots of time to find someone new.
A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (10 February 2013):
If you're mature you can handle the blunt truth: you're an idiot if you let this guy stamp you. He's already a complete moron for coming up with the idea in the first place. I'm 24 myself and the idea that someone exactly my age thinks that's acceptable makes me sick. This guy should not be allowed to date anyone.
You're stuck with that tattoo for life (lasering it will leave scars) and I don't need to be psychic to tell that this 'relationship' is temporary.
Break up with him today, get a new phone number, block him on facebook and every other online thing (including e-mail) and inform your friends and family of his unstable nature. Then move on and take a lesson away from this: people who try to blackmail you into doing things like that are bad news.
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A
male
reader, Passherby +, writes (10 February 2013):
Lose this guy. Stable 24 year old men don't have 16 year old girlfriends for one much less want to brand a teenage girl. He's playing and you are the toy and you know what happens to old toys.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (10 February 2013):
 Ok I won't address his chronological age.... his maturity level is low. His emotional age that of a toddler.
DO not get a tattoo for him or anyone else. and NEVER ever put someone's name on your body. (a child of yours is different to some)
The fact that he's "blackmailing" you to "come back" is BS honey.
TATTOOS are forever. I have three. I did not start getting them till I was in my 40s. I love two of my tatts... ONE of them I don't like but I tolerate... it's a COVERUP.. I had a PICTURE of a character that represented my ex husband.... my current husband knew what it stood for and he insisted I have it covered before he would marry me.
A coverup is usually 3 times the size of the original tattoo and it hurts way worse than the first one as they are injecting the ink into scar tissue.... I laid on the chair for over two hours being tattooed... I cried for about half of it.
IF you get a tattoo with this boy's initials on you, in a few years when you are done with him you will regret it deeply and you will want to either get it covered or lasered off... both are expensive and painful... and neither work to permanently remove all traces of said tattoo.
While you may not believe me I can easily remember being 16 and being madly in love and wanting to do anything to keep a boy.... it stinks I know...
BTW you brand cattle or property NOT people.
EVER.
he's not worth the pain of the tattoo or the pain of the cover up years later or the pain of the memories you will have of being so stupid as to do this.....
Tell him if you want that after he marries you, you will get the tattoo (cause honey that's never going to happen)
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A
female
reader, when nothing goes right go left +, writes (10 February 2013):
 No way this is him trying to control you and brand you as his and if you do this and get back with him then it is likely to get worse because because people that who try and control a person will not stop until they knock you down to rock bottom and rob you of your self esteem. Because dont think that its just a tattoo it is a sign of him controlling you. So you need to decide whether you want to stay in this relationship
with someone who will strip you of your self esteem or become stronger, get through it and be happy free.
Hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, Kindpigeonette  +, writes (10 February 2013):
I know you said to forget about the age, but a 24 year old man (older than me) has issues if he is dating a 16 year old. Unfortunately this is one of those things you will look back at in maybe 4 or 5 years and only then realize just how bad. You should NOT get a tattoo for him. He is dating you for CONTROL. He does NOT love YOU. He loves that dating a young girl makes him feel like a "big" man. Believe me when I say he is nothing but trouble and you should not give him even another second of your youth. RUN and run far, far away. I'm around his age and no mentally stable man or woman my age would be caught dead with a 16 year old, I'm sorry to say. When I was your age I would have told myself that "these women are just jealous that he prefers young girls like me." Or "These guys are just jealous they can't get with teenage girls". Please just trust me that at least speaking for myself, who you are at 16 is completely different than who you are at 20 or even 22. We are not jealous because firstly, 20's aren't old...and most importantly priorities change with age. I'm not assuming you think any if this stuff, but just in case! You are worth so much more than to be branded by some loser control freak! He should be begging to have YOUR name tattooed on him for even thinking to do something like that for him. He sounds like an abuser and you should speak with an adult or good friend about his behavior. Make sure you do not get back with him -- even if he changes his mind about the tattoo "I was just jokiiiing".
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (10 February 2013):
 No. If he won't take you back unless you have followed his orders, he doesn't love or respect you, does he? Why be with someone like that? Why have a permanent reminder of this idiot on your skin? Please don't do it.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (10 February 2013):
WOW! The tattoo would only be the first of a long line of disasters if you don't walk away from this guy and never look back.
You probably don't love him- he's just mind f*cked you into thinking you do. The fact that you're even considering this shows the dangerous amount of control he has over you.
You asked for advice because you wanted to know what the best thing to do here is. The answer was a unanimous HELL NO! You better listen.
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A
male
reader, dylan co +, writes (10 February 2013):
Absolutely not.
Ever consider he may even be using you to fuel his ego, he wants out the relationship and you are desperate enough to let him do it.
You are 16, you have barely lived. Future boyfriends will not understand if you get it done.
Don't be foolish.
Why are you even with a 24 yo at 16?
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A
female
reader, ihavetoomanythoughts  +, writes (10 February 2013):
 Forget it. When you go to school, do you put your initials on your stuff? If you do, then why? Cause you want everyone to know it's yours. Someone looking for a pencil will pick it up and say, "Oh, it's ____'s pencil. I don't want it/I'll give it back/This isn't mine".You are the pencil. He wants to say that you belong to him so he can parade you around and show how much power he has over you cause he was able to get YOU to put HIS NAME on you permanently. In other words, he has no respect for you. The fact that he as asked you to do this should be a gigantic red flag for you. The fact that he is going out with someone so much younger than him suggests that he has a superiority complex (he can't handle someone his own age or older who can put up a fight). Dump him. Other reasons why you shouldn't get his name printed on you forever:1. The tattoo is guaranteed to last, the relationship isn't.2. Future possible partners will look at you and just see some other dude's name written all over you. Sure it's fine if you've had previous boyfriends but to rub it into your current boyfriend's face with a tattoo every time you show skin is cruel.3. It looks bad and might actually stop you from getting jobs you want.4. Tacky.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (10 February 2013):
 I wouldn't care if you were 66 rather than 16, my answer is the same, no. You are not a piece of livestock to be branded, what the hell are you even considering this for.
Find yourself a decent bloke who will treat you as a person and respect you as an equal. This guy has a lot, a BIG lot of growing up to do before any girl should consider even looking in his direction.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2013): Nope. Frankly, he sounds like a douche. Please find a better guy. This one sounds very immature, controlling and disrespectful.
You are worth SO much more!
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A
female
reader, XoLove07 +, writes (10 February 2013):
 Whatever you do , DO NOT get a tattoo of his initials! I can guarantee you that you will regret doing this! He's not worth it because if he was, he wouldn't force you to get a tattoo as a sign of love for him.One of my ex boyfriends got a tattoo of his ex girlfriend's name on his shoulder. I didn't notice until about 2 months of dating this guy. He regrets getting it and I felt stupid being with a guy that has his ex girlfriend's name tattooed on him. So, imagine it doesn't work out and you guys break-up AGAIN and your stuck with his initials. Also imagine you meet somebody new and have to explain to them whose initials those are. That would be an awkward situation, plus, you're only 16 and one day you will find somebody that's going to respect you and love you without asking you to get "branded".
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A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse +, writes (10 February 2013):
 Erm, let me think... Errr... How about NO WAY!
What a stupid idea.
You should leave this guy alone and find someone else. You want some guy to put his initials on you for the rest of your life?
I'm telling you now, this relationship (if you can even call it that) is not going to last. Have you asked your parents what they think?
This guy might be 24 but emotionally he's a retard. 24 going on 12 maybe.
I'm telling you now, I'm a "young" 34-year old and old enough to be your Dad. If you were my daughter I'd feel like kicking this guys head in.
Tell him "no" and if he doesn't like to go find someone else. This is over. A tattoo doesn't prove anything at all. The fact you've told him you want to get back together proves you love him. The fact you want to spend time with him proves you love him. The fact you're even considering such a stupid and ridiculous idea proves you love him. A tattoo proves nothing and you'd be very stupid to do it.
When this relationship ends, and it will. You'll be stuck with some blokes initials on you. Nice.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (10 February 2013):
 NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!oh and did i mention NOOOOOOOOO!!??!!??not only that, but this guy has some serious problems because i'm sorry, a 24 year old guy has absolutely NO (no seems to be the repetitive theme of this response) business with a 16 year old. This guy has problems. get away from this douchebag immediately. and don't even think about tattooing his name on you. holy crap.you know what i always say: nothing shows love like a permanent stamp on your body. if this is his idea of love, you don't need anything to do with him. trust me, in your adult years that follow, you'll be SOooooo glad you didn't do this.
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