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female
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writes:It's been a little over a yr. now since my ex-fiance and I parted ways after 7 yrs. together. He did the dumping and soon after became heavily involved with someone else. Through out this whole ordeal I remained in contact with his family, mainly his sister. She is the one who initiated and sustained our friendship seeing as we have always thought of each other as family even though we were not married yet.During this whole time, never once did I ever bring up her brother in anyway although, she had told me on several occasions that she doubted it would last with him and her and that she didn't believe that they were very happy together (too many differences)! I have not ever responded to anything she has said but, I will admit that deep down inside I have wished for it to be true as I still love him very much.As it turns out, 3 mths. ago this other woman ended the relationship stating that she just wanted to be herself and he didn't, whatever that means. I have hoped that maybe somehow he would find it in himself to approach me and admit that he had made a mistake but, he has not. The reason I had hoped he would is because his sister had also, told me quite awhile back that he had told her that he felt he had made a mistake ending it with me. When she told me this back then I thought that maybe she was just telling me that to make me feel better but, I never questioned what she had told me.Now, for my question which once again I don't want to put myself out there to be hurt more than I already am, to her so I am asking for help from this forum. Recently, she posted a statement on fb about feeling pain from various illnesses and not showing it on the outside in which I commented by asking if a broken heart counts, also. She reponded by saying that it did count and asked why I had written that. I told her that I thought she probably already knows the answer to my question and that my feelings have never changed toward him. She responded with- "I sure wish he would wake up"...now, I'm left here wondering what exactly she meant by that. Does it mean that he still cares for this other girl or does it mean she wishes he would realize what he had with me and do something about it? I knew that I should of never opened this can of worms but, now I have and just as I suspected the pain I am feeling over the loss of our relationship is back strong as ever. Your insight on how you would take what she wrote would be appreciated. I know that all I need to do is ask her straight out what she means by that statement but, I fear that I will not be able to handle what she might have to say- I have been deeply suffering long enough with all of this and just don't know how to let go. Thank you for your help.
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female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (21 September 2011):
 It sounds like she meant that she wants him back together with you and she wishes he would just go back to you already. Unfortunately what she wants means little in what he is thinking, it just means she likes you and likes you 2 together. If you want to get closure talk to him yourself. Hearing anything of what is going on through his sister isn't a great idea since she favors you, she can tend to take things he said in certain contexts that are optimistic towards the 2 of you back together, she wants it to happen as you do. Just as any of us can read too much into comments and twist them into what we want it to mean. I'm sure you know why he ended the relationship. If you still feel so much and he doesn't know then maybe you should talk to him a final time and find out the exact reason he left and if there is any chance he would come back. By going only on his sister's comments alone you will only get your hopes up and crushed. Good luck to you. And I am sorry for the difficult break up you are going through.
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (20 September 2011):
 I personally wouldn't have put something that personal on FB, but that's just me. It sounds pretty obvious doesn't it, that his sister wants him to take you back. It's impossible to know if that's because it's what she wants or because he said something. Either you have to take a leap of faith and just ask your ex back or just talk to her about it. She's not going to be upset with you for asking. No one on here can possibly know for sure what your ex is thinking. It's scary, but if you ever hope to know what's going on there you have to just go for it.
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