A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I ended my affair a few days ago although I haven't seen him for 8 weeks already, he is married and cannot give me the time and attention that I need from him.I really like him and thought that I could handle it but it became impossible for me. He stopped calling and texting as much and I felt like he was pulling away, whenever I tried to meet up he was always busy, or we'd arrange something and then he'd cancel, I can't take the endless rejection anymore. Its had a bad impact on my self esteem/confidence/worth etcBut now I feel like there's a big gap in my life I'm single now def not ready to date but I'm trying to keep myself busy but I miss him so much I'm trying to go NC (no contact) but its so hard even though I know if I get in touch he won't respond or ill feel stupid for falling for all his crap againI just want to get over him but I've tried so many times before - go nc and then giving in - I just don't feel like I can do it
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2019): There are different kinds of love. You cannot love a person who you see only in one aspect of their personality. You did not know the whole man. Si have been in your shoes. While he swore undying love & said we were soulmates, his marriage, lousy as it was, won out. So, back to you. Make time to heal, learn to love yourself, do not fall again for an emotionally unavailable man. Be a woman of high value. You will attract the right partner when you begin to respect you & have high expectations for a relationship. The road ahead is one of growth. You will find that you may not totally forget him, but you will find serenity & love again. Moving on takes effort. It’s hard but it gets easier in time. Wishing you success & peace!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your kind responses I just miss him so much. I am making small changes though like keeping my phone on silent so if he calls I will miss it. I feel better today - have good and bad days but when he starts chasing me I am not sure I am strong enough to reject him
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A
male
reader, eddie85  +, writes (20 September 2011):
 First off, realize that what you are feeling is normal. Despite your boyfriend being married, a break-up is a break-up.
Sadly, the writing was on the wall in regards to this relationship. Most married men who start ex-marital affairs don't leave their wives -- especially if they children. His lack-of-ability to be with you might mean that his wife was catching on, he was consumed with guilt, or he has moved on to another person.
Either way, realize that what you are going through is a break-up -- with a man you had very strong feelings for. I think you need to put the relationship in perspective to yourself though: he was married and you weren't the #1 priority in his life.
When you get down and start to miss him, I would like you to think ask yourself: "Wouldn't it be nice to be #1 in a man's life for a change?" Imagine finding a man you share passions for as strong as the man you were with, but this new man being there for just you and only you. Think about how fantastic that would be: to be adored by a man who adores no other.
Now, give yourself a little time to emotionally be ready for such a person and go out and find him. He is out there and is waiting for you.
Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2011): Hold in there sweetie. Speaking from experience, I know you are hurting. However, I think you are right - he was pulling away. He is probably feeling guilty. You are right. He cannot supply your emotional needs. You deserve so much better. Give yourself time to heal and get over him. Do not contact him and do not allow him to contact you because he may try. Stay strong in the fact that you have done what is best for you - right now and in the long run.
You want and need a man that can put you first - all the time. He will never be that no matter how you feel about him or even how he may feel about you. As long as he is married and living at home, you will come last on his priorities.
I wish the best for you.
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