Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, penta  +, writes (15 September 2007):
 Depends on your understanding with the girl. If she thinks you are "exclusive" then NO it's not okay. If you are lonely, write her a letter, go out with friends, but do not date.
If you and she can decide to date other people while she's away, and as long as everyone involved know that there are other people involved (no one in the chain thinks they're the "only" one) then there's nothing wrong with dating around.
I think you need to call your girl and talk to her about it.
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (14 September 2007):
 You have to tell her before you do. It's not OK to do something that deceives someone else. Not telling her is a form of deception.
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A
female
reader, stina +, writes (14 September 2007):
 Hi Anonymous,
Of course it's okay to mess around with someone else...as long as you tell your girlfriend what you're doing and say it's okay for her to get with other guys, as well.
Seriously, if you love this person then why would you want to be sexual with anyone else? Don't you think that would hurt her? If you don't think it would, then be up front with her and let her know you plan on getting it on with other people. If you do think it would hurt her, then you shouldn't do it. If you can't overcome the urge and you know that it would hurt her, then you really need to examine your relationship and think about breaking up.
Of course, like I mentioned, you could always bring up having an open relationship. But if you two have been in an exclusive relationship for a while - and she loves you - then I personally don't think it would work. But that's just my own opinion. Maybe your girlfriend would be okay with each of you having sexual partners on the side. It's not unheard of, you know.
Take care.
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A
female
reader, misscandy  +, writes (14 September 2007):
Hey you, why don't you put yourself in her place? Would you be liked being messed around?Sure the answer is no! Please don't mess around with people's emotions. Because of you, she will loose her trust in men.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2007): Yeah sure it is - I mean if you love her that much you won't mind if she starts messing around with other guys right? Why on earth are you in a relationship?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2007): Um...let me think NO!! deffinatly not...if you feel this way tell her i'm sure you could com up with some thing but messing around with other girls will not make your relationship better it will make it worse. if you really want this to work then i say that talking is the best way
good luck
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A
female
reader, red1982 +, writes (14 September 2007):
Think about how you would feel if she was to mess around with other guys behind your back. That's how she would feel if she found out. If you can't stay faithful then the relationship is not going to work. That's why long distance relationships never really do. Talk to her about how you are feeling - she may be feeling the same way herself.
I hope you can both work it out.
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A
female
reader, war37 +, writes (14 September 2007):
Hi If you truly love someone you wouldnt even think about 'messing' around with someone else?Maybe you should end the relationship before someone gets hurt,your both young and it saves alot of heartache long term?x
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A
female
reader, sexi  +, writes (14 September 2007):
 Hi
I dont think that would be a nice thing to do, you would be cheating on your gf. If things are really bad why dont you sugest just being friend and hooking up when you have finished school, however there is no promise that she would wait for you. If you decide to do that then you can mess around with other girls.It it either her only or the other girls, it is your choice.
Good Luck,Mail me if you wanna talk
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A
female
reader, Just a Girl... +, writes (14 September 2007):
 well you gotta ask yourself is it ok for her too mess with people while you in high school, if the answers no then you have your answer xxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2007): Best way to figure out if it's 'ok' is to ask her - not us - because it's a relationship between two people - you & your girlfriend - and what is ok or not ok is something that you'll need to decide between yourselves.
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A
female
reader, princess_sparkle +, writes (14 September 2007):
it is absoultely not ok to do that if you guys did not agreee to it! You made a commitment by being in a relationship with her and if you want to stick to it, it will be hard work. If you truly do not feel nothing for your girlfriend and you want to fool around with other girls then be honest with her and break up. It is not fair to her.
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A
female
reader, beautifultrustnlover +, writes (14 September 2007):
 I think you should have a relationship talk and everything
maybe your not mature enough to relize you have a relationship and need to understand cheating isnt just wrong but very hurtful i dont see this working out for you.
look at it this way shes way to old for you in mind so find some one more on your inmature level and leave the poor girl
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2007): Not if you guys agreed not to date other people. And if you are feeling lonely and you want to date other girls you have to TELL HER how you feel. You can't just do it behind her back. That would be very wrong. It is not necessarily wrong that you feel that way (especially if you are sure this is what you want) but it is wrong if you don't let her know what you intend to do. Just be honest.
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A
male
reader, somewhat_anonymous +, writes (14 September 2007):
Um, HELL NO! Of course it isn't okay and you damn well it isn't. Do you want her to mess around with other dudes just because you aren't there? There's a reason why it is called cheating. If you really "love" her, you wouldn't be thinking of this. So either break up with her so you can mess around with other girls, or actually act like you love her and quit feeling sorry for yourself that she is living too far away.
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