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I'm 14 already and still have never had a boyfriend...

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 October 2005) 48 Answers - (Newest, 14 March 2008)
A female , anonymous writes:

Please help! I'm a 14 year old girl, brown hair, slightly attractive, nice figure, killer personality and yet I've never had a bf. I always fancy someone but I'm far too shy to ask them out and I won't let my mates ask them out for me. This is really getting me down and I really really want to go out with someone very badly.

View related questions: never had a boyfriend, shy

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (14 March 2008):

eyeswideopen agony auntthat's willing to BET

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (14 March 2008):

eyeswideopen agony auntI'm willing to be this poster has found a boyfriend by now...look at the date...might even have grandkids...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2008):

well, same here, i'm 14 with no boyfriend, its okay. trust me this is normal. all my friends have had boyfriends, some are prettier and some are less attractive then me. i'm slim, 5'3" and i have a killer personality too. sooo, once we get older, trust that we'll have boyfriends. & stay clean. no sex, guys will def. like that wen u get older.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2008):

i'm 14 too

im like a skater wannabe but im a rocker

and i don't have a bf!

i really like this guy

BUT IM NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE ONE!

so, sorry babe

but, i ffeel u

i need a guy to hold me, to love me

:P

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2008):

Hey, Same Here Im 14,

My Friends Have Alwaiis had boyfriends

There prittyy and i supose im not bad looking too with blonde hair n slim figure, I get along with the lads really well. But No One wants to go out with me..

Sometimes i think im just too picky I Facny the funny ones but there not interested.

Im shy too n i dont like my friends to ask them out for me :S

I really want a bf!

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A male reader, the boss United Kingdom +, writes (5 January 2008):

This is from martingreg3.

So you want to have a boyfriend. Is this just because others have boyfriends or do you like boys. How many boys do you know. Even slightly, I don't mean your brother. We always do things for reasons. Generally Humans are not too stupid that is why there are so many of them.

But we are talking about you, you see Miss Oz has told you certain things based upon presumably her opinion. She will not have to live with the results of her opinion, if you follow her advice. You will. If you enjoy it, well good for Miss Oz, if she gets it wrong, sue her. That should put the cat among the pigeons. What would I advise. You I am afraid have not told me enough. You just want a boyfreind and are 14 years old. Do you like football, football likers form 1 queue non footballiker form another. take your choice.

Out of interest what is you aprents attitude. Yousee although I went to a public school all boys quite a few had sisters, and I lek people and I find people interesting. Now by the time I was 7 I knew I was a boy I knew that most boys were like me. Other than my attitude to girls which was probably affected by the fact that I had nearly all girl cousins and no sister. So girls were normals and good fun to play with provided you made it interesting enough. getting away from your parents was the first game, that was three, the second staying away all day. once you reliably came home preferably dry and not too muddy you were allowed to disappear. I had the key of door at eight.

So is it because you have not had the opportunity, or is it because you are just intested to find out. Well start either by knowing something about football or just hang around with a boy or two who does not run, be your self and some fun and tell your parents and if they complain say Mr.Gregory said so. try not to get pregnant, do not go on the pill and do not do it until you are, unless you have to and ask as many questions as you can. But give the guy a chance to answer. Try and laugh.

Mart.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2007):

hey im going through the same thing. i have never had a boyfriend and most of my mates have and i dont really want one now it would be nice but i dont defo want one. i just feel like ill never have one EVER!!! and i do want one when im about 16-18 but i feel like i wont get one as NO boys have shown ANY interest in me! i have friends that r guys but they r just mates. i have a great personality IMO and i think im quite pretty but i no that EVERYONE at school doesnt think so. i think its cos im quite chubby and my hair goes crazy whenever i go outside but when im at home its fine! but if the guy really fancied me wouldnt all that not matter??? im suffer from paranoia so that may make me think that guys dont like me too? anyway hopefully we all find that special someone who loves us and cares for us lol!!! goodluck and goodbye

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2007):

you're 14, are you kidding me?

that is so young, and to all the posters saying they are 15 or 16.

having said that though, my advice is to take action now though and dont wait for it to "just happen".

when i was 14 i thought it would "just happen" too. now Im 21, with no signs of ever getting a boyfriend. ive never kissed someone either.

and if you think im young to, visit the forum incelsupport.org. people on there are in their 50s and have never had a bf/gf.

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A female reader, cupids angel gl ruby United Kingdom +, writes (11 November 2007):

cupids angel gl ruby agony auntwell dont be so shy and focuse on one boy who is the best to you. start by talking then ask him on a date or to meet and then you should both have a strong relashonship now ask him and just wait for an anwser!!

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A female reader, Miss_Oz United Kingdom +, writes (11 October 2007):

Miss_Oz agony auntThere's no rush. I didn't have my first boyfriend until I was 17; it didn't kill me to wait and it won't kill you. Waiting for someone special to come along is much more rewarding than just making a play for every guy you kinda-sorta like. If you're lonely, hang out with your friends and family more. You're still a child and have many years ahead of you to experiment with romance; don't worry about what other people's love lives are like either, you don't need to be with someone because it seems like what you should do, or what everyone else seems to be doing. If you really want to go out with one of the guys you fancy, just try to approach them with confidence; you say you have a killer personality, talking to the boys is the only way they're gonna find that out!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2007):

haha ur not the only one im 14 i had a boifriend in 5th grade but we didnt even do anything cuz i was sooo shy and my friend asked him out 4 me...so yea

but i mean guys do ask me out but i never like them..only the ugly ones ask me out!!haha but all the ones i like im to shy around...i personally think im very pretty my friends say so too...and yea lately ive been really wating to have a bf!!!ill just have to wait...haha

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2007):

I'm 14 too, blonde, silm and curvy, I'm pretty and I've got a good personality.

Never had a boyfriend either. :/

Yet I'm a rocker, and most of the boys at my school are all jocks and chavs. Not their type I guess.

I guess the right guy just has'nt come along yet for us. Don't worry, I'm shy too, but when the right guy comes along I'm sure we'll have better luck! ;)

xox

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2007):

hi im 14 too!! and a lot of my friends have bf's even younger...and i dont get it...im not bad looking..sort of hour glass figure brown eyes,past the shoulder a bit wavy hair...guys around the street whistle at me but i dont care..im also like you,the bf part,and it sucks!!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2007):

Hello I really know how you felt.

I have been through that too.

I use to be 14 myself and all my friends had had a boyfriend.

You wan't to know how I felt?

I felt soooooooooooooooooo ugly!!!!!

But I know thats not true.

It all takes time, I know that sucks, but thats life!

It takes a while to come around...

I am now 15 and I still haven't had one!

But there are 2 after me right now,

they are both soo goodlooking I can't pick!

Believe me some a worst off than you.

Even me.

Be Brave! xox

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2007):

I know just how you feel. I'm 14 as well and many of my friends have boyfriends but I don't. I've been asked out a few times by guys that weren't exactly...all that great [One had a killer personality, ok looks but you know how us teenagers are, always so superficial] I've got lots of close guy friends and i long for a boyfriend, not to seem popular or "cool" but just to experience it. I have long legs, hourglass figure, blonde hair, freckles and blue eyes and I think I'm pretty but I long for someone else to tell me that.

Then again, at our age, love is not exactly a priority. School and educating yourself should always be at the top of your list. You've got plenty of time ahead of you, think about love then. That's what I'm going to do. And I'll wait until someone asks me out. 3

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2007):

I dont know how you feel.

But the thing is you have to give it time.

Maybe there's a lad out there who also likes you but is too shy to say anything.

Sometimes at the age us 'Teenagers' afre it can be easier not to be in a relationship.

I cant really say wether or not its good to be in one.

Im in one at the moment.

I didnt get myself a bf till i ws 15.

Yes.Thats right.

Im gay lol.

But im in a stable relationship now.

It just took a while to find someone.

Im babbling.

And now i dont even knw if this has anything to do with whats being discussed.

Oh well.

x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2007):

if you can't ask your mates to ask them out for you!cute down the shynes.sall your self more and show them that your a good loocking girl.show them your real self!and alway waier mack-up.always feel confident every time,every day.and always say to your self that your a very beautiful girl.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2007):

I def know how you feel! O.k call me pathetic but i cry sometimes cause I just want a guy to be there for me when i need a hand to hold or something. All of my friends have boyfriends and whenever we hang out they always have their boyfriends with them. Don't get me wrong their boyfriends are my best guy friends too but I just can never seem to find a guy. I'll walk down the street and college guys will honk and wave and yell at me cause they might mistake me for their age. How come guys my age won't like me? I'm 14, going to Highschool, 5'4, dark brown hair, and i think im not ugly and all my friends question why i don't have a boyfriend. Frankly, I think it's just because i'm not forward engough. I have been lately but im trying. Good Luck!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2007):

I know how you feel. I have the same discription as you except I am blonde and tall. I have an older sister who is gorgeous and just broke up with her bf of 2 years and 7 months...and now she is with another guy and they are already kissing. Its hard for me to look at them kiss and hold hands knowing that it will never happen to me. I am 14 and I am going to Highschool. I belive if you try and open yourself more to guys they will find you more attractive if they get to see your true Peronsality. I am a very funny person, but you have to get to know me very well. I am also very shy when it comes to guys, but I am trying!

Best of Luck!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2007):

i know exactly how you feel. im 15 and have never had a boyfriend, a first kiss, or any other of the whole 'dating' experience thing. i am also shy, so i dont want to ask someone out. its difficult at times when all of my friends are talking about their boyfriends and stuff. i too wish that i had a boyfriend. every post that i read says that its normal and the time will come, but the thing is its not normal at my high school. EVERYONE has or has had a boyfriend so i cant really talk to anyone about it. i guess all i can say to you is to try to have fun in high school, i guess eventually everyone finds someone. even if you do want it to happen sooner rather then later!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2007):

hey i am the exact same! except im a bit on the heavy side not fat but im built like an althlet. well i go to a private school adn all the guys suck so hopefully next year when i go to public i will get one!

best of luck to you!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2007):

hey dont worry im 14 to and i still havent had a boyfriend either. I feel the same exact way you feel but some of my friends havent had one yet either so its okay

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2007):

im 14 too, i dont have a boyfriend too its normal

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2007):

Hey, dont wory about boyfriends coz ur not the only 1! im 14 too, never had a boyfriend an i wory as well. at least ur confident wiv urself, ur lucky u feel like dat as most others dont. 1 bit of advice from a m8 hu's had millions - dont always go 4 the incredibly fit lads as 9/10 theyr complete idiots. personality is da bit 2 go 4! iv got a crush on a lad thats not v fit but has a gr8 persnlity and is really funny. gud luc (tho i bet u dnt need it) lol

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2006):

Me a girl never had a boyfriend lonley all the time waiting all the time for that special one but never came across it. me i sad that i will in dup an old lonley lady with a 100 dogs in set of cats!!!!!!!!!! me a 15 year old girl you dont feel that your pretty enough for these boys so you have to cover your face in a ton of make up but still feel thats not enough man this is hard to talk about but my feeling are valded because you got girls that talk about you and they tell the guy and sometimes the guy would belived that is true and dont want to come around you and you feel so bad sayin to yourself what did i do to look like or look a certin way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2006):

hey dont worry man im also 14 and ive never had a boyfriend either and everday i wonder if its that im ugly or too picky...........but one day i know the right guy will come along and he will like me and love me for who i really am and hey stop rejecting those guys that are cute ,go out with them trust me youll be really happy about it just make sure they treat you really good and are not assholes.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2006):

I am exactly the same as you. Sometimes i get really discouraged and i get so caught up on it, but when i really think about it, i want to stay single right now. I'd rather have fun with my friends, like you're suppose to when you're a teenager. And concentrate more on my school stuff. Everyone i know who got a boyfriend, they totally changed; the way they act and everything, just to impress him.

We shouldn't be worried and depressed about not having a guy. because God doesn't want us to be doing that, because the lives he gave us weren't ment all for guys. :P

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2006):

this was posted last year, so what, your 15 now? first of all, your life haven't even started yet...you have your whole life ahead of you to worry about finding a boyfriend...things will happen eventually, but why now waste your time worry about boys? u should be focusing on school; finding yourself, becoming independent...plus you are not missing out, trust me! there are alot of guys your age who are immature, and they won't grow up until their 30...so just live your life!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2006):

Poor you! You sound cute, i bet all the boys you fancy are dying to be your boyfriend. Just go for it. Ask him out. Believe me, i'm a boy i know, We're just as nervous and we just want you to be honest and ask us out. We're not gunna start hating you if we don't fancy you back, we'll just say "no, sorry i don't love you but can't we still be friends?"

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2006):

You know thats exactly the same for me! Tough isn't it? I have an uber crush on this boy and although we're friends i just want more than that. I won't ask him out though as i feel it should be him who asks you out? I can fully assure you you're not alone. Perhaps one day we'll just get lucky and find the perfect match...god this is bad...

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A female reader, Carr1e +, writes (19 March 2006):

Hiya,

You will find that it is 10 times harder for a boy to ask out a girl because they dont deal with thier emotions very well, they are terrified of rejection. If you like someone just go for it, it doesn't need to be walking up to them in school and asking them out, if you have a group of friends, get friendly with his group of friends and suggest meeting up after school as a group. You will be able to get a better read of how a boy feels about you this way. Realising that everyone your age will also have these feelings makes it easier. Asking a friend to talk to the person is an excellent way to break the ice without doing it yourself if you are shy. If there is someone that you like, you could always just say to them "I like you" if you get a negative response from them, you will more than likely be over it quicker and it will be all forgotten about, whereas if you leave the feelings to fester, then you could be obsessing about someone for months, without really knowing how they feel. Life is short so take that leap of faith, have confidence in yourself and at the end of the day if they aren't interested then its their loss. Good luck!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2006):

I've never had a boyfriend and I'm 15. I'm always worrying about it and all the people i've fancied i've just done nothing about it but after reading all this next time i fancy someone i will definitely at least try and do somehting about it I'm really shy at school so i can't really go up to someone really popular and ask them out but when i find someone whose in my legue... who knows

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2006):

I myself am 14 too. I mean iv liked so many guys, but they end up being crazy fools. Plus at this age i dont really expect guys to be as mature as I want them to be. I kind of have this fantasy thing where if i wait another couple of years ill find a lovely guy. Probably wont happen but im in no rush. I wouldnt go out with someone just for the sake of having a boyfriend to look good.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2005):

I am 14 too, and have never had a boyfriend, but sometimes it is best not to worry. To be honest, boys are pigs at 14 anyway, so you are really not missing anything. All my friends wish they hadn't bothered!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2005):

im 14 too and i was the same last year. but to boost my confidence i went out with mates and just hung around and looked at lads and they started to realise what they were missing. you will have a boyfriend soon enough.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2005):

I'm 17 and havent had a boyfriend. It used to get me down loads but ive realised that life isnt just about getting a boyfriend. It still does get me down sometimes but I know I will have someone who loves me one day.

And anyway, having a boyfriend isn't be that great cos most young people's relationships don't last anyway. Wait until you know you'll be loved by the right person.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2005):

A person who asks the question is a fool for 5 minutes, a person who does not ask the question is a fool for life!!

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A reader, kt United Kingdom +, writes (31 October 2005):

kt agony auntif you really want this then you have to take control, its your life and no one is going to come along and do it for you. just work up the courage and ask him out! sometimes to get what you want in life you have to do yourself!

good luck!!

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A female reader, love hurts but its great! +, writes (31 October 2005):

i shouldnt worry about it as long as you have friends that care about you and pritty soon the right guy will find you and you will be happy! intil then enjoy your friends and family!

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A female reader, sexseahot United States +, writes (31 October 2005):

sexseahot agony auntOK, you are only 14, you're not exactly that old, but if this is bothering you, then do something about it. It works both ways. Do you like someone? If you do, why don't you go ask him out? If you're tired of waiting around for someone to ask you, then just do the opposite.

Why won't you let your friends do this for you? Sometimes, it may be easier that way. It would definitely sound A LOT better coming from you though, that's for sure.

If you like someone, why don't you just become their friend first, before you go and ask them out. Talk to them a little, ask them some questions about themselves. Or if you want, you can just ask them if they want to hang out sometime or go to the movies. See what you two have in common and then go for it.

There's definitely nothing wrong with not having a boyfriend yet by the age of 14. You have the rest of your life ahead of you, but if you want one now, you may have to act upon it yourself.

Good Luck.... hopefully you find someone and get the nerve to ask THEM out:)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2005):

You are only 14 you don't have anything to worry about. However, if having a boyfriend is that important to you then maybe it's your confidence. You seem to be a very confident person but that just may be a cover. Try making yourself feel good about yourself by having a day at the spa or something close to that atleast like getting you hair done. Then try talking to the boy you fancy and if you like him enough you can just take a deep breath and ask him out the wors thing that could happen is that he says no which isn't the worst thing in the world. It wont kill you just make you stronger. If your lucky he'll ask you out.

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A female reader, kirsty2hot +, writes (31 October 2005):

Hi,

Secretly everyone is shy to ask boy's out, You should try making friends with these boys you fancy and getting to know them maybe it'll boost your confidence a little, also there is nothing wrong with not having a boyfriend at your age.

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A female reader, Topps +, writes (31 October 2005):

You made me smile describing yourself as 'killer personailty'. You know there is nothing wrong with you. And who says you need to have a load of BF's under your belt by 14. I sure would of got better grades if I never dated till I was 18 and wouldn't be back a college now aged 30!.

So fancy boys, ask them out, dont ask them out, just dont worry about it. Peer pressure is a big thing for kids your age. Do what you feel, be strong and make your own choices. You sound like you are smart enough. Go with the flow. There maybe one day, when you say 'I never want a bf - at least for a little while;0)

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A female reader, Babi +, writes (31 October 2005):

The only advice I can give you is 'If you want it.... YOU go get it!'

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A male reader, timmyboy +, writes (31 October 2005):

Hi, Believe me you can probably get any guy you want. Although you are slightly young most guys will still be interested in you. I wouldnt worry about not having had a bf by the time you are 14 that is nothing to worry about, but if you want a bf then you have to take the first step. Find someone, like you said you fancy that guy, then slowly become more and more friends with him and maybe ask him to cinema or something, at 14 he will be as shy as you and will not say no i promise!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2005):

for goodness ake! You're 14!! My first boyfriend was when i was 19, and sometimes i feel that was too young!! I'm 23 now- and relationships are still difficult!

Enjoy the uncomplicatedness of being young. Ask yourself why you want a boyfriend so much. yeah, it is nice having a boyfriend, but you need to be happy with yourself first, and remember- you not having a boyfriend doesnt mean you're not good enough!! Im sure you are perfectly good enough, but gee wizz, dont rush this stuff. And ask yourself- do your friends have boyfriend? Is there a little bit of peer/ group stuff going on? All the best!! :)

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A female reader, QOTU +, writes (31 October 2005):

QOTU agony auntGoing out with someone isn't the most IMPORTANT thing in life! :-D Have fun, hang out with friends, and live your teenage life!

If you DID want to get into a relationship, though, I'd suggest you just have a friendly one... don't get too into boys, and don't let it tear you up, either. You're far too young to be worrying about men - :-P Most of them are trouble anyways.

(Well, that's what my mum always says.)

Live your life first!

~QOTU

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A female reader, caffeinequeen +, writes (31 October 2005):

I bet you that you will find a boyfriend easily! If you obsess about getting one all the time, it doesn't help much, because then,people will feel that you are kind of desperate to get a boyfriend.It's not good to be desperate.My advice is to rent movies where the shy girl in the corner gets the boy! Get inspiration! Everyone eventually gets a boyfriend you know! I don't know of anyone who has never had a boyfriend.So, you too will get one! I had my first kiss at 16 and I was feeling the same...feeling that I would never have a boyfriend! Also, good things happen to those who wait, so I bet you will get a killer boyfriend! It's not how old you are when you get one, it's how good he is!Sending you good vibes!

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