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I love my friends, but all they talk about is sex! How do I tell them I think they are being crude? Or should I say nothing?

Tagged as: Sex, Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 February 2011) 9 Answers - (Newest, 25 February 2011)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I have a great group of friends ranging in age from 13 to 17. I'm almost 15, so I'm in the middle, age-wise.

Well what's upsetting me is that my friends are funny and great, and I love them, but every other topic is sex! Like threesomes, orgis, etc. I'm really sick of it! I don't want to say anything though because I'm afraid if I do they will think I'm a baby. I'm not super religious, but I do think sex is a special thing and I don't like hearing crude things about it every second of every day, so how should I tell my friends? Or should I just keep my mouth shut? Thanks.

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A female reader, SweetSmoochy United States +, writes (25 February 2011):

SweetSmoochy agony auntI agree with firstlovelastlove. A little bit of light humiliation is in order to make these kids see how immature they're being. next time they all start up, say something like "Wow, don't you all sound like a bunch of virgins!" Then when they ask you what you mean say something like "In my experience, virgins cant stop talking about sex and people actually having it aren't so immature about it." If they scoff at your experience, say something like "Judging by your joking, you're the last person to talk about experience." and leave it at that. Hopefully that works!!

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A female reader, Gabrielle Stoker United States +, writes (25 February 2011):

Gabrielle Stoker agony auntTry tuning out mentally. Playing songs in your head helps. If someone asks why you arent taking part in the conversation you can reply it's not a topic you find very interesting at that moment in time.

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A female reader, OhGetReal United States +, writes (25 February 2011):

OhGetReal agony auntYour friends aren't funny or great. Talking about orgies and threesomes is juvenile delinquent behavior crude and rude and worse disordered. You say you're nit religious like you want to be too cool for school, but your so called friends are punks and you don't share their lack of morals. Try finding Church going friends or kids who aren't rule breakers I would guess they smoke and drunk too. Find a new group to hang out with or your reputation will be ruined by association. You can't change them you can only take care of you. You deserve better healthier friends.

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A male reader, firstlovelastlove Canada +, writes (25 February 2011):

firstlovelastlove agony auntGet new friends. Or if you don't want to get new friends the next time they talk about sex say something like 'yeah, like you'd know' roll your eyes and walk away. It's been my experience the more people talk about sex the less they are having or the worse they are at it. Seriously, terrible at it. And if anyone pressures you to talk about your sex life say something like 'I don't kiss and tell' or 'why? you need some pointers?'. You say you're almost 15. I would not invite any of these 'punks' to your birthday party. Have fun! Enjoy being 15! I wish you all the best!

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A female reader, FloridaCatGirl United States +, writes (25 February 2011):

FloridaCatGirl agony auntI imagine you aren't the only person in this group of friends who would prefer not to talk about threesomes and orgies. Many teens just go along with the conversation because they want to fit in and feel accepted. If you are worried about how your friends may react if you say something, I would confide in one of your closest friends, or one who you think may feel the same way you do, first. Talk to her and see how she responds.

Then, the next time you are in a group setting, and the subject comes up, say something like, "I think sex is something special to be shared between two people. Why would you want to share your boyfriend with another girl? No thanks!" This is just an example, you don't have to use these exact words. Another option is to come right out and ask them to stop talking about sex all the time.

Please let us know what happens. Stay strong and be assertive! Good luck!

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A male reader, gaydating United States +, writes (25 February 2011):

yeah, you should get new friends...try talking to them...

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2011):

I had the same problem. I thought it was stupid and immature, so I found other people to hang out with

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2011):

its time for you to get some new friends or tell them that when you are around you'd rather talk about something else. not everyone is into the whole sex thing and some are saving it for when they get married or older/wiser. tell them how you feel a real friend would respect you and decide not to talk about those things while you are around. also dont let the pressure get to you if you are not rteady for those things dont do it. if they do not respect you its time to find new people to hang out with

those are some things to think about

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A female reader, birdynumnums Canada +, writes (25 February 2011):

birdynumnums agony auntGet some new friends.

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