Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Abass Abassi  +, writes (8 February 2011):
Dear! that is the super shot of ur statement. "I have learned not to do that again because if he did that to me, I would be super mad!" well done!!! i appreciate ur that statement and that is what i was trying to tell u in my upper statment as an anonymous person. "i am sure same u will do or react if u don't like somethng ur fiance do. u will surely react to it but it doesnt mean u control him. it is human nature that they don't like their partners do anything they don't like but doesnt mean they want to control them......."Keep ur love like that. I love ur loyalty. May God keep ur tie fastened tight as it is now.abass
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you to all who answered. I talked to him the next day and yeah he flipped and I have learned to not do that again because if he did that to me, I would be super mad! He is my love and I should show full respect to him.Once again, thank you for taking the time to answer!
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2011): i don't know why everyone telling u same thing, "Don't let him control u". i don't know why they are all saying same thing. controlling controlling controlling.
that is not the matter of controling. It is not control if u feel bad about something ur partner does. i am sure same u will do or react if u don't like somethng ur fiance do. u will surely react to it but it doesnt mean u control him. it is human nature that they don't like their partners do anything they don't like but doesnt mean they want to control them...
This time u tell ur fiance' the whole story truly, but next time u should know his likes and dislikes. if u r that much interested to go to club then go with ur fiance, why going with friends? ur fiance should be ur priority and same thing should be from his side. he too should mutually consider ur likes and dislikes...... in a relationship knowing eachothers wishes, likes and dislikes are much important than merely doing love.
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female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (30 January 2011):
 hi
yeah definitely tell him.
if you are seen by someone and they tell him but you haven't told him he might think you are hiding something. you are doing nothing wrong. he is your boyfriend, not your owner, so if he cannot handle the truth about where you are going; maybe have a re-think about if he is the right man for you
xx
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male
reader, badbadboy  +, writes (30 January 2011):
I'm going through the same thing right now... Tell him, give him the confidence you are not drinking or dancing with anyone....Do this also: call him before you enter the club. call him once in between just to assure him u r not drinking or dancing with anyone call him once when u r leaving the club.This way u can assure him his peace of mind and u can have ur fun... all it takes is 3 mins of ur time.... If u hide it from him and he somehow comes to know about it, all hel will break lose as it is a matter of trust...I know how a guys mind works, if u hid it from him all sorts of questions would come up in his mind "is it the first time she is doing this?" "will she do it again keeping me in the dark" he would lose trust on u and wouldnt be at peace each time u r out of his sight.... ur relation will be damaged in the long run.Instead tell him, assure him and give him those 3 calls. Who knows on the long run he may not even mind if you dont call him
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reader, Liebes Kummer +, writes (30 January 2011):
The question is; how would you feel if you find out that he went to the club with his friends?
It is not about control, it is about trust.
Tell him where you went.
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female
reader, Br1dgette  +, writes (30 January 2011):
My husband is like this. It's not so much that he's controlling or doesn't trust me it just makes him anxious when I'm in situations that he feels are potentially unsafe. Which he responds to generally by flipping out. It's incredibly irritating and I've asked myself the question you are asking quite a few times. Point of the matter for me is that even though he's going to be unreasonable and even though he's being a real pain in the you know what there are no room for secrets in a relationship. I say go ahead and just tell him (Afterward probably is a much better idea) and let him get off his chest whatever he needs to. Also make it a point to let him know that you WILL not be controlled by him. You will listen to him rant if he likes but he is not going to keep you from doing things that you want to do. Let him know who you are and to take it or leave it. He'll take it don't worry. Not saying that will be the last time he'll flip or anything but that's just how it goes lol.
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female
reader, Blonde68 +, writes (30 January 2011):
If you don't tell him and he then finds out, he will then think you got up to something and it will make future outings more difficult....plus he will loose all trust in you whether you have done something or not!
I sense he has a trust or confidence issue going on for one reason or another... this needs addressing. It is going to drive you nuts and not a very good start to any pending marriage.
You need to find out why he doesn't like you going to such clubs and he obviously needs reassurance from you that you love him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2011): The key to a healthy relationship is trust and without communication that cannot be established and maintained. If you do not tell him that will start to break the established trust and communication line. Open honesty is excellent and in this case I see it benefiting you because your fiancee will see it as you went did nothing and still told him what you did in the sense that you recognized you are committed. He will appreciate your honesty and see it as a positive thing. I am almost sure of this. Good luck.
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female
reader, Traycie +, writes (30 January 2011):
You have the right to go where ever you want to go. He is your fiance' not your daddy. If you want to go to the club then you should go. If your fiance has trust issues then maybe you should think about not getting married to him until his trust issues are resolved and offer him to get some counseling and let him know that you are more than happy to go with him
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (30 January 2011):
 The thing is how long will it stay a secret? Someone at the club could tell your fiance you were there, your girlfriends could slip up.
Has something previously happened at the club to where your fiance has this trust issue?
I say go you're the designated driver, you're keeping your friends from getting behind the wheel drunk and potentially harming themselves or others. If your fiance asks where you're going and what you're doing then I would tell him the truth. But if he doesn't ask then I wouldn't necessarily volunteer the info.
Just because he's your fiance doesn't mean he's the boss of you.
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male
reader, dannn +, writes (30 January 2011):
I wish that's what happened to me last night.. You're in the clear, you did absolutely nothing wrong. You shouldn't feel guilty for going, and if he flips out then he's the one with issues. You shouldn't feel the need to confess but if he asks why not just be honest. I wish my life was as unscandalous as yours right now. I'm sure all will be well :D
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