A
female
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anonymous
writes:If your married lover says that he doesn't love you enough to walk out on his children,does that mean he never will? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, 21w  +, writes (7 October 2010):
 The answer is clear. He doesn't love you. I think you know this...you just don't want to accept it. Don't want to let yourself believe in that. Because then reality will hit hard. I know what I am talking about. I was with a married man for about 4 years. Maybe 5. @Beingblack said it like it is. Harsh but it is truth. But in any case...it is your life. Your timing. Don't waste it on someone who doesn't love you enough. ENOUGH SAID. You better off. BEST OF LUCK GIRL. I was you...I am you...I am telling you, you can make it without him.
A
female
reader, 0Guest0  +, writes (16 September 2010):
 If you really love him leave him. he dont love you he said that he dont want to leave his children what more you want? he have his family and will not like to leave them.you are still single find a new guy..and do you want him to leave his family for you? do you want to break his family?how would you feel if after your marraige ur husband leave you for someone else?just leave him and find a new single guy who will love you alot :)
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A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (16 September 2010):
 Wow. How much more clear does he need to be? He's not going to leave them. They rank higher than you, and that will never change. Get over it and go after someone single.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2010): huh? that shouldn't be asked on the first place... it's not a gauge of love... i don't think you love him enough though, because if you love him you wouldn't put him in a situation of test... your affair is a risk so risk love.
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A
female
reader, JGSM  +, writes (6 September 2010):
 I would never want to date a man who wants to leave his children.. that says a lot about him. But I think that you meant," will he leave his family for you?" That's something you must know more than anyone. What you relationship is all about, sex? Love? Men has left their wifes for other women... and I would never call you a home wrecker, because of one simple fact.. it's the man who isn't happy and seeks for something else, it's not your fault. Even though seeing a married man isn't very healthy even for yourself.
Anyway, good luck
/S
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A
female
reader, cindy 15 +, writes (5 September 2010):
 in my eyes i dont blame niether of you he doesnt sound like a bad guy but he wont leave his children NOMAN SHOULD EVER WALK out on there own child even for another love children are a npart of them my opinoin is find a guy who doesnt have kids or you can try to get to know his kids and love them in your own way but the choicew isnt ours its yours so good luck
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A
male
reader, bma.com +, writes (4 September 2010):
 He's already walked out on his children, Just not physically yet. Oh yea his wife counts too.
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A
female
reader, Carrot2000 +, writes (4 September 2010):
 No, he will never walk out on his children. He's already told you this; what are you not understanding?
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A
female
reader, almc  +, writes (4 September 2010):
Omg he leave him alone
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A
male
reader, Beingblack +, writes (4 September 2010):
 Yes.
You have probably been told before, but affairs are sordid times, full of lies and deception, and based on sex and excitement. Love and commitment rarely enter the world of affairs. What he said is just another way of telling you where you stand. He doesn't love you at all. How can you be so blind?
I'm going to have to be harsh here. Do you seriously think an average married man would leave the security of his family for a piece of skirt? Because that is all you are to him.
I bet he has told you all the usual. My wife doesn't understand me! We dont have sex any more! We sleep in seperate beds! I only stay for the children! I need you! Blah blah blah. Whatever the circumstances, he is married, and you and him are doing your level best to wreck a number of lives.
There are many questions on DC where you can read some very sad testimonies about what you are doing, and the future you can expect. I dont think that any of them end in happiness all round.
He will not leave his family, and if he does, it will only be because his wife found out, kicked him out, and moved on. History tells us that YOU, the mistress, ends up with nothing, because everyone, including your married lover, will blame you for destroying the family unit. We all know it is not entirely your fault, it takes two to have an affair. But now would be a good time to evaluate your life. Take my advice, I'm older and have a little experience. Live YOUR life. Stop messing around in someone else's. He lied to his wife yesterday, he lied to her today, and will do so tomorrow. He denies your existence, and what he gets up to. Does that sound anything like LOVE? Is this what you expected from your life? An affair with a married man? Surely, when you were in your teens, at college or university, an affair was not the pinnacle of your ambition for yourself? Stop wasting your time, start living. You are his booty call. I'm sure you can do better.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (4 September 2010):
 It means his kids come first in his life. That's how it should be. He's married, why are you with him? Find someone who's single that is there for you. Your with someone now who is not yours to begin with, so you really can't expect much other than being the woman who's the other woman in an affair.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2010): (Hopefully) Yes. I'm assuming his children are his number one priority and it will probably remain that way for a long time, or at least until they are out on there own. When you have a child, they become your number one. This is in no way meant to put you down, but a man or even woman for that matter, shouldn't have to walk out on his or her children for an affair. Like I said, maybe when his kids are old enough to understand, you two can finally have the life you dream of. Good luck and take care!
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A
female
reader, Astronaut +, writes (4 September 2010):
 Why would you want him to leave his children in the first place?
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A
female
reader, pancakes rule  +, writes (4 September 2010):
 Do you have any children?
I just ask because I wonder if you are asking this from a parents point of view. Because, think about it, parents love their children so so much. Once that coffee table in the front room was a nice space to put your drink, but once you have a child it becomes a hazzard of sharp edges. He probably really wants to protect his children, doesn't want to hurt them and doesn't want them to be angry at him for leaving their mother.
Having said that, some men do cop out, and although they like having a lover, their heart really does lie with their wife. But I don't know enough about your relationship to analyse it in that way.
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