A
female
age
30-35,
*_M4ever
writes:Is it possible for someone to really not be in love and just use the word?I've had many relationships and last year, well 3 months ago i was in love. We had an 8 month relationship he ended it abruptly and im still in love with him. I see him all the time as he is with my church and well im wanting to stay good friends with him. recently though he I know has felt weird because she is going to go out/does with my best friend now, im not happy bout it but what can I do nothing...This year alone he has been through so much. He broke up with me for a week while i was gone then when i came back we got back together. 4 months later he ended it. One month and he then went out with another ex, he was still fooling around with me, i was stupid and let it happen. Overall the past 2 months not so good but ive changed now. He broke it off with her after a month and half then got back together (it was after a fight).He broke it off because he was thinking of my best friend and wondering if they could work out he is 17 she is 15. Anytime he falls in a relationship he uses "I love you" but I look back especially near the end and at other relationship and theres a part of me that he doesnt really know what it is.Im also asking for insight of this best friend thing and he doesnt know what love is. We did get in a little fight over it but its done now because even though the group consists for 5 people now really (youth group) and it is tight I cant have tension in the group, so im almost forced to accept them in my presence.I really care for him and hope one day he will want me back especially if I show myself in the new changed way. I was really jealous I guess cause they have known each other only or half a year.Well insight please thank you.
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male
reader, esepalo1 +, writes (4 December 2007):
 Dont blame your self thats my biggest problem people use i love you to loosely dont say it you dont mean it its a real powerful word when used.Dont settle for less why should you your young and emotions get involved it hurts you know what love is and if you dont think its love it aint.In a youth group you need to forgive i know its harder to say then do but you gotta or it will eat you alive and destroy you in side out.The friend thing is another issue no such thing as friends much less best friends any opening they get they will creep in and pow c ya . no one hurt but you by trusting them shame on him and her two blows from two people you trusted and loved .the only friends you got are GOD MOM AND DAD.
A
female
reader, bqagirl2692 +, writes (4 December 2007):
 Unfortunately, people do tend to say " i love you" and not necesarily mean it. People confuse the 3-lettered phrase. Why do they say it and not mean it you may ask? Well people sometimes say it because they feel as if they are obligated to. Such as if one person says it first then they feel that they must say it to not hurt the other persons feelings. Another reason being that they might confuse love with another feeling. Unfortunately, to some people " i love you" is a phrase that is being said for all the wrong reasons. To me thats just playing with a persons mind and heart. If you dont feel that you are in love with this person then just dont say it and stop trying to convince yourself of feeling this for a person when you actually dont. So answering your question, YES. I do think people say it and not mean it....SOME TIMES!
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A
male
reader, jm81690  +, writes (4 December 2007):
 Alot of guys bust out the L word and don't mean it at all.
Often because the girl will say it first, and the guy will do so to avoid hurting her feelings or causing a problem with the relationship - though that doesn't mean he doesn't dislike you, alot of guys like their girlfriends alot but don't love them.
Other guys will use it just to butter girls up and increase their chances of getting sex - that's pretty low and most guys with any morals don't do it.
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