A
female
age
36-40,
*pl-ash
writes:Well i am in a bit of a mess. I was seeing this boy Sean we had half a dozen dates and latly we started to have sex. He is damn good. He wants it to be more asked me to be his proper girlfriend a few times and i keep saying am not sure yet i need time. He lives 2hrs from me.we have loads in common.. we are both in different branch of IT. .... all would be well if Paul, who works in the same company as i, did not come in the picture, i fancy the pants off him, so do all girls i know but i never thought much of it, none of us ever made a move. he is just damn sexy, polite, well the perfect gentleman. We only have ever been polite to each other.I am still so stunned he likes me!Well a few weeks ago we went to a work do, i got drunk out of my face fell down,etc... paul picked me up, took me out to be sick, and took me back to my hotel tuck me in bed n left (didn't undress me or anything).We had a drunk talk.. i was the drunk one - he was still sober. I cried over his shoulder about my flatmates messing me about, my ex boyfriend,etc. He told me he likes me and if he was not with his girlfriend would ask me out(his girlfriend and him has not been working for ages.. )After that i avoided him at work i remembered everything and was embarassed.Last Saturday i had a party round mine.. paul got drunk... told me he had feelings for me for months.. he tried to ignore it, thats why he makes little trips upstairs to where i work to see me, he gets tongue tied around me.. we snogged (could not let that chance go!)Then he asked me out, i said i don't think so because he was drunk, he is just saying things...he still asked me out two days later... says he has feelings for me... and the girls at work are damn envious... i am walking on cloud 9. I want to go out with paul but what about sean?How do i do it? He likes me a damn lot and is under the impression we are an item, though i never did anything to prevent that, i was seriously thinking of getting with him if it was not for paul.I will blow away his self-confidence if i turn him down, he has been hurt alot. How do i go about it?x x x
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female
reader, Spl-ash +, writes (9 December 2007):
Spl-ash is verified as being by the original poster of the question well i had a tough time thinking about it... i am just going on casual dates with both, they do not know about each other.
I made it clear i am still single and i am sleeping with none of them.
So i just feel i need a bit of time to figure out what will be the best for me.
i had a good think and i know i want something longterm not a fling...
thank you for your advice
A
female
reader, bqagirl2692  +, writes (4 December 2007):
 Well, we cant just make decisions because itll make others happy. I say that whoever and whatever makes you happy then stick to it. Dont let nothing stop you from being happy and living the way you want to. If you want to be with this guy Paul then your left with no choice but to turn down Sean. Its better for you to be open and honest with him rather than him finding out from someone else. Honesty has its benefits. Sean will just have to cope with this on his own. You cant be with anyone just because you feel sympathy towards thenm. You'll end up regretting it. Go with what your heart tells you. If your heart beats for Paul then break it down gently but honestly to Sean. Good luck on your choice!
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