A
female
age
41-50,
*neball
writes: been dating with this guy for 2 months and were on MU by the 3rd month but basically he is a total stranger to me...recently we had argument regarding Trust since i dont know him that well and i texted a friend about my concern. And i sent it to him also. He felt bad with the way I perceived him. Now, aside from we've been off for a few days he is still cold with me. is this mistake enough reason to end the relationship? or he is taking time til healing from what i did takes place? Im confused.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2011): I don't know what MU is but I do know that two months of dating isn't very long at all. You may be rushing things with this guy.
Confiding in a trusted friend for objective feedback is fine, but sending your boyfriend a copy of that conversation is rather tacky.
Is it sufficient grounds for ending a relationship? That depends on what exactly you said to this friend.
I say give him two weeks. If you don't hear from him by then or if he is still cold toward you then consider it over and move on.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2011): and i sent it to him also. Shouldn't he be first? Could it be that he finds it hard to trust you because you are telling other people private things?
Forgive me if I've got that wrong, can't tell exactly what you mean about which of you the trust issue is with.
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (19 June 2011):
Mistake? What mistake do you mean? I don't see you doing anything wrong, you didn't cheat or bad mouth him or anything, you were expressing your concern and you also informed him of your concerns.
But, maybe you should break it off with him. If he's cold with you, and like a stranger... what sort of relationship do you have with him? After two months of dating you and him both should know long time ago if this is a relationship worth pursuing. If he's like a stranger, and there isn't much trust then tell him you'd like to stay friends and find yourself a man you connect with.
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A
female
reader, sweetiebabes +, writes (19 June 2011):
Trust is earned and needs time to build. You were getting along well and it was a step to get to know him more and you spoiled everything.
What was your purpose why you sent message to your friend and sent the same message to him? Why not talk directly to your guy and tell him what you want and address your concern with him?
You made a very immature move. When he is calm and is ready to talk to you, tell him you made a mistake and was irrational. And you may after open up with him and tell him how he made you feel. If everything goes well with you both, spend time to get to know each other and enjoy each other's company with honesty and understanding...trust will set in as you get along well.
goodluck!
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A
female
reader, one big fool +, writes (19 June 2011):
Sometimes it does a man good to know how we see them, if he has any bones to him, he will get back to you, if not forget him.
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