A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So, I found out my boyfriend of 6yrs who has cheated before had cheated with a girl over a year ago tells me that it happened a while ago and it was during the time we were having problems..and that he is so sorry! I have finally come to my senses after all his lies that he will never change and he will always be sneaky. I know what I did was wrong by checking his phone but I had a feeling something was up when I saw 2 missed calls by the same girl who I had noticed a text message on his phone last year and I never questioned him about it..what's even more crazy is that we have a trip booked with the kids for next month..how can I keep my word without having to cancel this trip. He tells me he love's me and that he hasn't spoken to her for over a year and that she was the one who called him just recently..so, confused..it's hard but I haven't been picking up any of his calls..
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female
reader, OhGetReal +, writes (9 March 2011):
 I think you know in your gut that he is untrustworthy and a liar, most likely a user too. Why in the world are you with the same guy after six years without getting married? It doesn't take that long for him to decide you are the ONE, my guess is he knows he's a cheater and fears the financial/emotional repurcussions should he get married caught and divorced.He has a problem and he's making it your problem. I would tend to believe the girl who said she slept with him, most women are honest about such things and would tell you if they hadn't and that they didn't know about you two being a couple...unless she's psycho she won't want a lying cheating taken man.
A
female
reader, leylaness  +, writes (9 March 2011):
 if you cant trust him 100% then you really should not be with him. Its unfair on you to have to be constanly checking up on him or always looking out for the warning signes. maybe he has changed but aftera ll he did to u he doesnt derseve a second chance. the truth is people do to you what you let them do, if you let him cheet he will more then likely do it again, your worth more then to be cheeted on so you need to tell him and show him by walking away. the trick part is the trip. maybe you should go by your self with your children and having fun, you can do it by your self, show your kids that in life you should never put with being treated badly and that you can be a strong confident parent on your own. what he did makes it so much worse now that you have children, but you need to deciced what life leassons you want to teach, that they should never put up with being treated badly. if they see there mum saying i will not put up with this they will do it if they find them self in a possition like this.good luck with it all, i hope i helped but im sure you will make the right choice good luck petal =)
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A
female
reader, jazzie1 +, writes (9 March 2011):
I called the girl and she told me that they had sex and he had slept over her house and this was all happening when he used to tell me he had to go an visit his sister which lives around the girl's neighborhood.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2011): 2 possibilities here i guess. one- tell your kids the truth in a manner they might be able to handle. im not going to say how as you sound like a loving mother.
or you could tough it out and take the trip for the kids and for you. if you can one day forgive you husband so be it. if you cant you will know for sure and begin healing
if you keep living things'll get better :) dont worry to much =\
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A
female
reader, yomama65 +, writes (9 March 2011):
 My experience has been that guys who cheat are always sorry....that THEY GOT CAUGHT! These "lyin' and cheatin'" types are usually masters at manipulation and lies. And they usually don't change. Even if (and that's a good question to ask here) they really love you. So, unless you want to set yourself up for more heartache and disappointment, kick him to the curb and find a guy who appreciates who he has, is honest and will treat you the way you should be treated. Those guys are out there. I know they are. Unfortunately, alot of the them are married or in a relationship. But, they do exist. Now that's my personal take on it. As a social worker, I guess I would wonder what's behind the cheating. Is this what he does when he can't handle "problems" in your relationship? Does he take responsibility for what he did? Does he have a sexual addiction or other issue going on? Would he go to counseling to save the relationship? If you are just getting alot of excuses and BS answers, then that's your answer. If he tells you honestly that he doesn't know why he did it and that he needs help, then you might want to see a therapist who specialized in relationship issues. It's all well and good that he says he's sorry, but is he willing to take action to save the relationship? Best of luck to you. I feel for you.
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A
female
reader, Adorskable  +, writes (9 March 2011):
 They were missed calls so obviously he didn't answered them. He could be telling you the truth. Why don't you find out whats going on before you make a decision. You have to be sure of his cheating and not just assume he's cheating. You have a family so I would advise you to find out first and do take your family trip. He cheated and you lost faith and trust in him and he might be telling you the truth but he does have to regain his trust and that is something that he has to earn, its not just given. You have every right to not believe him, he cheated and lied to you before. I would suggest counseling to help you cope with this pain.
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A
female
reader, almc  +, writes (9 March 2011):
Maybe you should call that girl and see what she says.... She won't lie to you, it might hurt and suck but in the end the truth is the best!! Good luck.
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