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age
,
anonymous
writes: Is there a reason why some men when they kiss a woman every seems ok but when the lips touch there comes the hard tongue and they think is sexy and that makes them great kissers. I find it a turn off and is not seductive..I actually said to this dude to stop and let me show him how I want to be kissed but he refused....I never saw him again...anyone with this kind of experience out there?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, BigSis  +, writes (30 June 2008):
 BLESHOO!! Troubledtoomuch...were you left uncovered Friday night and caught a chill?
Sofia, a slight detour to school via Margate sounds a little too desperate, no? But then again, Margate's only an hour an a half by train, and it's really rather nice here in the summer.
: )
Lestat...you little devil you, your Prince charming will show himself one of these days and snog your face off, you'll see.
Oldfool...you couldn't be more accurate when you said what you did. Nice one.
BS xXx
A
male
reader, oldfool  +, writes (30 June 2008):
 I think the problem is that some guys mistake their tongue for their penis.
Whether in sex or making love, it's always better to be gentle and teasing.
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female
reader, scrazy  +, writes (30 June 2008):
 Ack!
I have one too many stories, the next guy who tries to stick their tongue down my throat, I'm going to step on his foot!
Way to test my gag reflex, it makes me want to quit drinking and see if there's something *I* did wrong.
Which I kind of doubt since I don't shove my tongue right in there!
Sadly enough, my best kiss was probably from my friend...Who's female.
I may have to turn for that girl, considering I already told her she gets first dibs...
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female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (30 June 2008):
 R u achoooooooooing MOI!!!!!!
Squiffy that was me last night on both counts IM GUILTY AS CHARGED!!!!!!But oh wot fun plenty of kissing to and twas not a frog!!!!Which british friend would this be then mate (:0)XxXxXxX
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2008): Oh yes, Birdy. Squiffy also equals horny, but not per the dictionary. Well, maybe my dictionary.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2008): Dash it's embarrasing when your American cousins have to correct you... Jiffy is to hurry, squiffy as I've been reminded is to be a little bit drunk.... Thanks troubletoomuch... you sure your not hiding an Englishman beneath those flags....
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2008): Just to not give the impression that my wife is an alcoholic, we get her that way about once every 4 months. A great evening of special fun. Other than that, drinking to her is 4 ounces of wine with dinner. She had about 3 full wine glasses Friday night. Again - Woo-Hoo
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2008): http://www.thefreedictionary.com/squiffy
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/squiffy
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2008): squiffy = British term for drunk, plastered, intoxicated
I got this from talking to my nutty British friend = Aaaachoooo
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2008): I think this is UK slang. We talk the same language but we don't understand each other.... Squiffy means in a hurry, but I couldn't find the culprit or the sentance so I could be wrong......
I'm not kissing you ladies, BigSis and Sofia I'm still waiting for a man. You go ahead with your business, but I know Prince Charming is still out there for me and I don't think he'd like the idea of Lesbian online sex....
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female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (29 June 2008):
 Okay, What is squiffy?
???
Yes, I am dense. Is it horny or tipsy?
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (29 June 2008):
 Troubledtoomuch is so right: "I think that is is OK for both men and women to tell the other how they like to kiss, as long as it does not seem to critical". The poster's problem is that she doesn't find the way not to seem critical. I guess that part of the answer lies in the other person, too: everyone needs to keep an open mouth... I mean, mind.
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female
reader, BigSis +, writes (29 June 2008):
London eh? Sofia. Cool ... I'm in Margate...used to live in London tho'. So not too far then.
; ^ )
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female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (29 June 2008):
 Yes troubletoomuch you have made a very valid point, maybe I am too polite lol. I dated a guy once last year and kissing him was like kissing a tortoise (Not that I tried it lol).
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am enjoyng all these answers is quite fun and some stories are quite funny. I think I was polite when I kissed him the way I do it which is softly and if there is going to be french kissing will be suttle not agressively.I want to be kissed so I can feel butterflies and melt. It was the first date! He Kinda tried for a second and there it went all wild like a horse on a rodeo....I did not say much but I did say to him to slow down a bit on the next few kisses he tried to give me... I he didnt listen. If we were in another situation "bed" still would have been the same I would have said "Hello this way".I dont know if Im a bad kisser or not but I wont go all wild like that even if I had known him for a long time...
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female
reader, BigSis +, writes (28 June 2008):
Lets go for it, Sofia!
We can practice.
Now where was it you lived again?
; ^ )
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2008): Dusky, I think that is is OK for both men and women to tell the other how they like to kiss, as long as it does not seem to critical. My wife and I have told each other what we like and don't like, although I'm not sure that we did that just after we started dating. Perhaps it is a bad idea until both parties are comfortable with each other. However, I think it is good to discuss what you like and don't like about all aspects of sex together is done in a kind and non-critical way. This goes for life in general too.
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female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (28 June 2008):
There is an art to french kissing! It doesn't have to be disgustiing. Yes I have had guys who are bad kissers, french or otherwise. Never tell a guy you want to show him how to kiss, it will give him a complex.
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female
reader, BigSis +, writes (28 June 2008):
"Even when her gob can't actually say anything out loud for once (yay!) she is still constantly "telling" you what she likes."
Whatchoo tryin' to say there, Waz?
==
Though what he said at first is right you know...as always.
BigSis xXx
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2008): Nope, I never kissed a woman who was bad at it. Some were better than others. The best was a woman who I dated and who was all over me seconds after getting home from our first date. The only woman who beats her is my wife when she is sufficiently squiffy. Last night she was sufficiently squiffy. Woo-Hoo
Hey Pepper. How about horny toads.
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female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (28 June 2008):
OOOOH!
The first guy I eva kissed was the stud muffin of school and it was horrible, He threw his tongue around my mouth like he was searching for something and I was nervous as hell..I didnt kiss for awhile after that as I did think at my young age that maybe this is how its done and EM! NO! Ive kised a couple of girls flynn but no bad experiences ther hun but Im sure there are somewere in the world...I havent tryed kissing a frog yet maybe thats were Im going wrong in me love life TAKE CARE HUNNY LOTS OF LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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female
reader, BigSis +, writes (28 June 2008):
Awww...Sophia, don't be like that, I'll kiss you.
: ^ p
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female
reader, Fionaisme  +, writes (28 June 2008):
 yup i have to agree with the others on here. I have had amazing kisses (one with a complete stranger) and the one i want to forget!! Be very careful about the way you approach this. Nobody likes to be told they are a bad kissser or dont satisfy you.If this happens again Maybe you could say to him "you relax, I am going to just make you feel very tingly and nice". Then you start kissing him the way you like to be kissed. If he responds stay with him and practise some more! If he doesnt i would advise finding a guy who can kiss properly. There is loads of them out there!!!!
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male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (28 June 2008):
Flynn 24, you don't speak too often, but you do say good things. Still, let's hear the girls. Knowing we do something wrong helps us improve it. And perhaps this can help us have the moral authority to tell a girl that she's not a good kisser after all.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2008): I notice there are no guys giving stories on how bad some girls are at kissing, no matter how brilliant they think they are.
Flynn 24
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (28 June 2008):
You know girls, I'm beginning to enjoy this. Sure it gets you a bit to think that you considered yourself a master and you were a huge turn-off. I can imagine what it would be like to be involved with someone whose kisses you just don't enjoy. Keep going! Many people read this, and you will be helping many girls (and men) around the world.
I suppose that asking a few private messages is too much?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2008): :)
I was started going ou with a guy when I was quite young. I got on great with him and I really liked him. But when he kissed me it made my tummy churn. I only went out with him for a few days.... I just couldn't bare to kiss him anymore.
I never told him how I wanted to be kissed... I didn't want to embarrass him... But it might have saved him a lot of pain in the end. (he wanted me to be his first serious girl friend... But it obviously wasn't going to work).
You are definatley not alone.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (28 June 2008):
 Absolutely,
Oh my God. I could write a book on the bad kissers I've encountered. One I fondly refer to as "The Nuzzler" because you could never tell if he was kissing you or nuzzling you. No lip action! No tongue action! Like kissing a brick, let me tell you. Then there was "Tongue-y McSlobberface", who treated our makeout session like a dog rather than a gentleman. The tongue belongs in my mouth! Not all over my face!
Bad kissers are everywhere. The best you can do is try to properly "train" them into champions (say "let ME kiss YOU for awhile" and demonstrate the true skills), and those that are stubborn, ditch or bear it.
Good luck, sweetness!
xx India
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2008): hell yes!! i had one guy that threw his tongue about so much it was like a washing machine! and another guy who licked my teeth ......... odd
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A
female
reader, lotus mama808 +, writes (27 June 2008):
 Yeah, I've ran into some rediculous kissers before. If it's not the bird pecking at my lips repeatedly, it's the guy who tries to taste my stomach from the inside! Eek. I believe that the way a person kisses is a sign of wether or not he/she is compatable with you. Crazy, but true. I mean, who wants to spend the rest of their lives trying to avoid their partners lips? Awful. You might as well throw a healthy sex life out the window. That bad kisser wasnt meant for you. There is probably some lady out there that would love his akward kisses. Whatever floats her boat, I'll stick with water;)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2008): Yeah. I think I kissed a guy once whose tongue was hard as steel. It was weird. But to be honest, I didn't like him much anyways. So it didn't really have that big of an effect on my life.
But for the most part, most guys I have kissed are really good and soft and sweet. Well in any case, good riddance.
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A
female
reader, freebird  +, writes (27 June 2008):
 I totally agree with you. Thrusting in the toungue is a turn off for me. But it is hard to explain this to a guy.
may be some women like it
fb
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2008): My wife has told me that she had guys who were good kissers and ones who were really bad. There is a right way and a wrong way to interact tongues. The right way is gentle touching of the tongues. The wrong way is for the guy to try to shove his tongue into her mouth as far as possible. She remembers one guy who did that and hated it. He thought he was a great kisser. We both happen to like sloppy kisses and gentle tongue interaction. Each person's like and dislikes are different.
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male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (27 June 2008):
The only comment I can make is that perhaps this is yet another way to confirm that you need to keep yourself on check. We all want to think that we're great kissers and that we take our women all through the Milky Way and beyond. We should know it might not be true, and perhaps we shouldn't feel offended if someone points out that her preferences are not our preferences.
As to that guy, I suppose he couldn't accept this. Someone else might.
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female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (27 June 2008):
I did run into really, REALLY, bad kissers when I was dating, and some that REALLY knew how to kiss well and curl up your toes. BUT, there isn't any easy way to bring up the subject delicately, especially in a new relationship. Most men are extremely defensive about any part of their sexual performance, and you would probably feel slighted if he said that your kisses were not the best that he had ever had either, Right? Sorry, I don't have an answer for you, just a few comments. ;-)
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female
reader, Vertigo +, writes (27 June 2008):
hi
it's not like you're the only one who's had a bad kissing experience... happens to lots of women (and men). Bad breath, too much saliva, too much tongue... any of these things and more could turn one off. I personally find too much tongue slightly uncomfy.
Next time you have someone sticking his tongue down your throat, just gently ask him to ease off, or maybe make a little joke about the situation. He should get the point. However, if you immediately start telling him how you'd want him to kiss, he might feel like you're tutoring him bcz you find him a bad kisser. Could become a sensitive issue with him.
(you might wanna try French kisses sometime, though)
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female
reader, BigSis +, writes (27 June 2008):
Oh yes, I've been there a few times. I don't like guys kissing me with the full blown impact of a tongue trying to excavate down my throat trying to spar with my tonsils.
I like a man to start off by soft and seductive kisses round my lips, with the slight gentle nibbling of them, top and bottom, then when our lips do finally suction together, I like him to use his tongue, but slowly playing around with mine.
You're right though, there's nothing more off putting than the way I described it earlier.
When I go all goose~pimply and my hairs begin to stand on end, that's when I know that he's kissing me right.
Have fun kissing, I do.
; ^ )
BigSis xXx
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A
male
reader, Marco262 +, writes (27 June 2008):
I can't say I've ever had the experience myself, but I've definitely heard lots of stories about guys doing this.
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