A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I just got out of a bad relationship. It's been hard for me, but I overcame it finally and my life is being put back together. I still think about my ex, but I don't care for how he did me. I datd him for a year and some months, everything was going well in the beginning. We would do fun things together and spend a lot of time together. I noticed one day that he was one that like everything to go perfect without no problems. I don't know any relationships that don't involve problems even if there little ones. Most of the time you get through them, make up and move on. In the beginning he told me that he did not want to talk about past relationships. I agreed not to talk about them because they were in the past. I always wondered why he was 48 and never been married. I asked him and he said that he never found a good woman to want to marry.I knew that it was to good to be true and a red flag was there, but I just didn't grab it because I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt that it was the women and not him. When we would go through little silly problems like having a disagreement over something he would get mad at me and he didn't want to talk about it. I would forgive him and move on because I cared a lot about him and I felt that we were both adults so if you trully care about somebody, you forgive them and move on. As the relationship progress the arguing began more often because he would not take credit for his faults, but I would and I apologized for my mistakes. He never would apologize because he felt that he didn't do nothing wrong. Everytime I went to his house because I felt that we needed to talk about our problems, we would end up doing something else and things would go back to normal without having the talk that I went over for in the first place. To make a long story short,he got mad at me and told me that he wanted us to spend sometime apart to see if we would miss each other. That's been three months ago and we haven't talk about what caused the relationship to break apart. I kinda knew when he said let's spend some time apart that he wasn't coming back beause he can be arrogant at times and it's about him. I went to him since I was acting like the adult in this and I asked him could we talk. He told me we could and it never got around to that because he always had something else to do. I felt that he was playing me off so I didn't ask anymore. I gave up trying and when I did that he would come up to me and but in my conversation just to get my attention and would always tell me I look nice or just have a conversation with me to tell me that he misses me and still have feelings for me. We also go to church together like some of the other postings I read. That's the only time I see him. He wouldn't call me on the phone, but would always be in my face when I seen him. I tried to see if it was something stillk there by calling him because I felt in my heart that it was something that he wasn't telling me. I would call him and he would answer every time I called.We would talk about everything else but getting back together. So I really don't know why we broke up. I finally stopped calling him. I just wanted to see if we could be just friends because I don't hold grudges against no one and I have forgiven him even though he wasn't man enough to tell me that he really wanted out of the relationship and he doesn't believe in giving any one a second chance. I don't know what happen in his past relationship that causes him to back out when there is a problem. I didn't cheat on him and I didn't do no more to him than he did to me that we couldn't sit down and talk about it because I can't force no one to be with me. I went with and friend somewhere which happens to be a male and he seen us. He stopped speaking to me after that. When he see me in church, he don't speak and he stares at me. I've tried everything I know to try and get back with him, but he didn't want to try. Why did he stop speaking to me all of a sudden? Why does he stare at me?
View related questions:
broke up, move on, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, tamsine83  +, writes (27 June 2008):
Hi,I'm really sorry your going through this, it must hurt a great deal. First things first,don't blame yourself for his ways and immature reaction to adult problems and relationships. Im sorry but at his age he needs to grow up, and not drag u down. You sound like a good person,you must move on and find happiness. This man won't bring you happiness or the things you need, he has issues and needs help, you cannot be responsible for his past or hang ups. Don't try anymore for your own sanity, let it go for now, if he's serious to be mature, win u back and get over his problems then he deserves you. Good luck xx
|
