For the men who do not suffer from retroactive jealousy, do you simply not think about girlfriend's or wife's past, or does it have no effect on you when you do?
Q. I'm a guy who suffers from retroactive jealousy. I'm trying to figure how to get over this so I'm trying to figure out what is different about me compared to guys who don't have this problem. For the men who do not have RJ, do you simply not think...
A. 7 April 2012: Ouch. I can almost feel the pain you must be going through with this. I can't believe so few people have responded to this question!
I understand that you are looking to others who have went through similar situations for guidance, but everyone... (read in full...)
Should I stick to my 'type' of guy?
Q. Throughout my life, I've always been told that I'm pretty, beautiful, and attractive. I'm confident in myself, but not overly confident. I'm not exactly "sexy" or dress like it, but I'm tall and thin with a pretty face. Naturally, I'v...
A. 7 April 2012: Yeah I'm a pretty good looking guy and went through the same thing you went through, Lora. I tried dating "nice" girls I wasn't physically totally attracted to, and it never lasted. I also read that in general, people get into relationships with ... (read in full...)
My wife never initiates sex!
Q. My wife and I have a decent marriage, and a one year old daughter. The trouble is, even before she conceived, we rarely had sex (about once a month). Now, it'e even less. When we do, it's good, but every time I initiate she's too tired. Even ...
A. 7 April 2012: Normally I would say "leave her", and if her sex drive was always so low and it was always a problem for you, you should have left her before having a kid together. Now you gotta stick around, bro.
Best thing you can do that doesn't involve ... (read in full...)
Should I tell him all my 'issues'? I don't want to freak him out
Q. I'm a recovering alcoholic and bullimic ( doing well now by the way) but it's hard work all the time. I've been seeing a man that I've known many years that isn't privy to my issues. We've been dating a little over a month and just started sleeping...
A. 7 April 2012: Yeah, I think you should tell him. If it was just a new person youve met, it wouldnt be their business; but you say that you've known him for years, so I'm sure he'll stick around... (read in full...)
Should I pursue this beautiful girl who has a boyfriend? Wait and see what happens? Or run?
Q. I have been talking to this girl for a couple months. She is really nice and it seems like she likes me. The way she talks to me in person and when we text seems like she does. Its just really flirty.The thing is I did not start the flirting. She ...
A. 28 February 2012: Never try to get with a girl who has a boyfriend, even when she is sending signals that she is into you. Too much drama. Keep very casual contact, NOT talking everyday, more like twice a month. Keep it light and fun. And wait it out. And stop ... (read in full...)
OK I get that she once did porn, but why does she feel ok showing to people??
Q. Hi Agony Aunts and Agony Uncles, Here's the deal. I met a girl at a party and liked her but then found out she once did porn. She seemed sweet and even innocent and I could hardly believe it. I found out by googling her name. We spoke about it...
A. 28 February 2012: Nah, you're totally normal. She probably likes you and is very insecure, so when she sensed that you kind of disapproved of her doing porn, she told you what you wanted to hear: that it was a mistake and she regrets it.
Since, again, she is proba... (read in full...)
I had a dream before I met her, now I don't know what to do, suggestions needed?
Q. Life is as crazy and mysterious as one can make it, right? But some stuff are completely out of ours hands. It was that what occured to me around half 2011 when I stayed a weekend at my best mate's place. That morning, I awoke to a very vivid dre...
A. 12 January 2012: If you are attracted to her, make your move. Don't be afraid.... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm turning into a evil and wicked person but I'm not sure if I like it or hate it.
Q. Hey guys I'm a bit upset at the moment so I thought I'd ask for some advice for change. I'm the kind of guy people always seem to come to for advice and with their problems. I've never had a problem with it before, I actually felt kind of res...
A. 12 January 2012: Felt the same way as you, at the same age; went down the road you are thinking of travelling; I regret it deeply. At first you will feel empowered by getting away with lying, stealing and cheating, but after a while it starts to catch up with yo... (read in full...)
What do you think about during sex?
Q. I am curious to know what other people think about during sex. I asked a girlfriend this once and she laughed and then started to speak, but then declined to answer saying that it would ruin it for her if she told me. I am guessing my w...
A. 12 January 2012: Ideally, nothing -- I just focus on us and magnifying love, passion & ecstacy in the moment. That only happen with girls that really turn me on and I connect with, though... (read in full...)
My ex wanted to reconcile, now she's conflicted between me and another guy. What should I do?
Q. Don't know how many people here have read my older questions but to start things off me and my ex broke up last summer after a 5 year relationship and things ended in quite an ugly fashion. Last November she contacted me via email stating that she's ...
A. 10 January 2012: Yeah forget about it. Generally, never go back to an ex. It works in maybe 1 out of 10.000 cases. You get one chance per girl per lifetime.... (read in full...)
I wish I was beautiful and that guys gave me attention, but sadly I'm not like that
Q. I'm ugly, and that means guys pass me by, ignore me, don't approach me, or when they do it's obviously a momentary thing just 'cause they're desperate for sex (believe me, I can tell, I've learned to tell!). My friends are really pretty, and they ...
A. 5 January 2012: You sound cool, smart and self-reflective. You may well be the "ugly chick" in the group; it's hard to tell without actually seeing you. BUT 1) Being attractive is more than being "pretty", and 2) Everyone can make the most of the body that they have... (read in full...)
Do I continue to keep quiet or do I confess all so he doesn't ruin his life by committing to a horrible cheat??
Q. I'm 24 years old and have been with my boyfriend for almost 8 years. We love each other and are buying a house together. The only problem is I cheated on him when we were younger and it is really playing on my mind and making me question whether I ...
A. 5 January 2012: Codewarrior is on point. I don't know; I've cheated, and I feel that even if you don't get caught, it permanently changes the dynamic of the relationship. So basically, your relationship is already over on some level.
Even if he accepts it and s... (read in full...)
I love my girlfriend but I'm disgusted, jealous and angry about her sexual past with her ex-boyfriends!
Q. My girlfriend is a nice and I really love her a ton and want to spend the rest of my life with her. She's everything I could have ever wanted. She's smart, beautiful, and very kind. But when we first hooked up a friend of mine told me she gave BJs ...
A. 5 January 2012: I totally understand where you are coming from.
You sound like you are a young guy with probably very little experience with women, so this is going to fuck your head up a bit.
But you should be happy that it was only 2 and that they were he... (read in full...)
Retrograde jealousy
Q. DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
A. 2 December 2011: Boris, there is a third option: find a girl with values and morals towards intimacy that are the same as yours. They are rare, but to me, they are worth looking for.... (read in full...)
Retrograde jealousy
Q. DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
A. 30 November 2011: So after sports, reading lots of material here on DC, and a good night's sleep I've figured out what my problem is.
I think that most everyone, but especially very intelligent men, tend to overthink things and circle ideas in their head over and... (read in full...)
Retrograde jealousy
Q. DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
A. 29 November 2011: Yeah I have this too. I've had it since my first girlfriend, who had 5 guys before me when I was a virgin. That really sparked it in me and started those thoughts. Since I have always had a tendancy towards compulsive thinking, this has haunted me ... (read in full...)
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