A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys I'm a bit upset at the moment so I thought I'd ask for some advice for change.I'm the kind of guy people always seem to come to for advice and with their problems. I've never had a problem with it before, I actually felt kind of respected like some kind of young sage but now I'm not so sure I like it anymore. I know, I know I could just tell people to bugger off but I don't want to come off as an a-hole either. I don't think there is any nice way to tell people to leave you alone when they are hurting or have something on their mind.Ever since I was around 16 and I felt I was let down by a friend I taught my self, literally taught myself not to want the company of others or require friendship or intimacy in my life. Don't get me wrong I have 1 or 2 people I call friends and I like being in the company of others its just that I expect them to leave at some point whether physically or mentally and if they do I'll be ready for it and can immediately cope by myself with no problems or little or no pain. Therefore I don't need to speak with others about my problems because I can do it by myself. I do speak with my friends sometimes but I don't think I need to. Then again I'm still human because I'm writing on this site aren't I?Right now, I feel like I might be losing it. I feel like I want to be "evil". That's the best way I can describe it. I don't want to hear about your day or you problems with your boyfriends. I don't want to hear about you 100 girlfriends or the bills you have to pay (friends aside). I just want to kick a puppy or push a kid over or scream at an old woman. I want to run in street and steal somebody's car and go on a rampage.I feel like I don't care about morals anymore, what's wrong or what's right, what decent or unacceptable, I don't care about war anymore or world peace or poverty. I feel like I've given up. I just want to climb to the top of a mountain and scream "I DON'T CARE ANYMORE". I don't care if people think I'm nice or wicked I don't care if go to heaven or hell. I just feel hateful to everybody but I'm worried that I don't show it.Don't go thinking I'm want to turn into serial killer or something, its not that bad but I just want to let loose but theirs a side of me that doesn't want to do that, its like a inner-fight with myself but I think the "good side" is getting weaker. The world is a terrible place with terrible people and I've lost the strength to battle against it. How can I save myself while I'm still "sane"? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, alphamalesyndrome  +, writes (12 January 2012):
Felt the same way as you, at the same age; went down the road you are thinking of travelling; I regret it deeply.At first you will feel empowered by getting away with lying, stealing and cheating, but after a while it starts to catch up with you. You become more distrusting, and just feel really bad about life. Since you are doing bad, all you will see around you is more bad. It's kind of hard to explain. You seem like the inquisitive type, so maybe you could try doing it for 6 - 12 months and see where it gets you. But keep in mind that once you go down a certain road, it's difficult to change course. There are only certain points where you can stop and change directions. For example, if you start lying, you might only tell the occasional small lie because you are too lazy to give the full story, and the idiot you are talking to wouldnt get it anyway. Eventually, you'll start lying in other places where you feel like it's the easier escape, but then you'll notice that you have to keep lying in order to keep up the lies you told in the first place. It puts strain on your mental capacities, and although you may be very smart and have larger mental reserves than the average person, eventually, it WILL get to you. And what then? How do you get out of that? I don't know, maybe you have to nearly fuck up your life first before you have the strength to say no to the darkness, but I wouldn't recommend that. I'd recommend that whenever you have one of those dark impulses come up, you do exactly the opposite. Of course, that doesn't include stuff like people unloading their problems on you. If you could give 2 shits about someones problems, then eject yourself gracefully (or bluntly if neccessary) from the situation.
A
female
reader, Usagi  +, writes (10 January 2012):
 i think you need to actually nag and bitch about all this to someone. and i don't mean just ask for advise. you need to let someone know all these bad thoughts you have. even the most extreme ones. i had a friend who was just like you until she met someone who she knew wouldn't judge her "evil" side (me), and she started talking. when she un-loaded all that negative energy she got much more calm, and in time (after many "evil" sessions) her mean side started fading away...
just be careful in who you decide to have as the listener, it must either someone you will never meet(and cannot harm you by telling people) or someone you want to trust completely and feel they worth your trust.
i hope you feel better soon :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2012): I bet nearly everyone on here has felt the same at some point...I know I have, have had to bite my tongue and stop myself telling somebody 'you don't know what a real problem is mate'
Think your problem is you aren't human almost. How do you let off steam - de stress? I steer clear of people who will not help themselves nowadays,who just want to unload, otherwise you soak up their bad stuff like a sponge. Everyone needs time out, to say no or to say, look I can't listen just now I have to be somewhere.
And nobody is an island, we have to trust others or else the human race would grind to a halt.
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