A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm a woman in love with my male best friend. Which shouldn't be a bad thing. Because I know he loves me too. Our relationship was trite in college. He pusued me, I fell. He was still playing the field, so I moved on. We remained close friends for the subsequent past five years. I moved out of town after college, but visited him frequently. Our friendship was always sexual when we were In the same city and mutally single, but things have changed. I moved back to where he lives, but he was already a few months into a seriously relationship with a great girl. I decided to set aside my love for him, thinking I'd be happy that he's so happy with a nice girl. But for the past four months I've been back, our friendship has only intensified. We've admitted plainly that we both love each other very deeply and will always be there for each other. But he refuses to leave his present girlfriend, who moved in with him a month after I arrived back in town. I don't begrudge him this decision, but am utterly confused when he brushes my hair out of my face, stares deeply into my eyes, tells me that he loves me and kisses me so passionately my legs literally shake. We've had several physical encounters since I moved back, and we stopped things out of respect for his live-in girlfriend. But last week when she was out of town, we buckled and had the most mind-blowing sex either of us have had in years. We knew it was wrong, said it wouldn't happen again, and have fallen back into our best friend routine with sincere mutual admissions of our L.O.V.E. for each other. He even introduced me to his aunt as his "First, #1 Girlfriend" at a family gathering (where his girlfriend was absent). I like and respect the girl. But I'm struggling with my ardent feelings for my best friend. Should I just wait things out and see where life takes us? Or is it time for me to remove myself from my best friend and try my damndest to move on?
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female
reader, heartbroken101  +, writes (21 August 2010):
 he is sending extremely confused messages! i think you need to talk to him about why he won't leave his girlfriend...and if he really won't then treating you like this is actually quite mean. leading you on and thinking you two have a chance together but then keeping his girlfriend. because he wants to have the cake and eat it too... (bad example im sorry) but see if you understand this....his girlfriend breaks up with him and he knows your madly in love with him...ta daaa he still has someone to fall back on! he loses youu.....he has his girlfriend...it sucksss but does that make any sense? you need to talk to him straight out..face to face with no difficulties so he can explain himself to you and you guys can then figure out where to go after that. but what he's doing to you and his girlfriend is both wrong and even i don't treat people like that who are my friends! its slack. goodluck!
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