A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:i was wondering if anyone out there could help me understand this.Why would a guy you have known for yrs and have a casual relationship with and are also good friends with. say to you that he was embarrassed by the birthday gift you gave him, even though he loved it and said thanks a dozen times, he txted me that night with another thank you and then he said i am embarrassed by your gift.I replied i just wanted to do something special because you are special. he then replied it was special just so unexpected thank you again. What i don't get is why be embarrassed by it. It was just a cheese and wine basket i'd put together because i know he loves cheese. I feel like iv'e gone done the wrong thing here as i never meant to embarrass him with my gift.I really don't know what to say to him but i feel kind of upset by the whole thing.or do you think i'm overreacting to this?thanks for any advice you can give. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2010): Why on earth didn't you just ASK him why he was embarrassed? I don't understand why so many people come to this site asking for stranger's opinions on their partner's behavior instead of just having an honest conversation with him/her. We can only guess the reason for his embarrassment but he could tell you what you want to know. Maybe he thinks such a thoughtful gift means you want a more serious relationship with him.
A
male
reader, RyanS  +, writes (20 May 2010):
 Hey, I think he really liked your gift. He's just trying to say that maybe he never gave you such a good gift like you gave him.
He probably realizes that he should have give you something when it was your b;day or something.
He's a nice guy, no doubt about it.
cheers.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (20 May 2010):
 Was it a very expensive basket ?
Maybe he felt the gift was too costly or too important for
a casual relationship-
Anyway,don't read too much into this, probably it's just one of those things that people say. You know ,like when you give them something,like a box of chocolates , and they say :Oh you should'n have.
It does not literally mean that you should not have bought the chocolate,it just means thank you.
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A
female
reader, Myrrh +, writes (20 May 2010):
 Hi. Ive been known to tell someone a gift has embarrassed me...and ive had it said to me too.
Its always if i feel what theyve given me is far superior to anything ive given them. So im sure it wasnt meant in a negative way. Just his was of saying it was a great gift and beyond anything he expected. If it really bothers you though, just ask him what he meant by the remark.
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A
male
reader, Red Green 0289  +, writes (20 May 2010):
IS there any chance that he didn't do a good job explaining himself (you know guys can do that!). Maybe he was self-conscious about getting the gift. I know that sometimes I feel weird getting a gift. It's 100% about what's going on in my head and has ZERO to do with the fact that someone took time, picked a wonderful gift, wrapped it, and given it to me- and I felt unworthy, or that I would have never thought to give the person that gave it to me something as wonderful.
I'm going to suggest that he may need to share a bit more with you. If you're close freinds I hope he can open up to you and share this. However, it's not an easy thing for some of us to even FIGURE OUT, much less share.
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A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (20 May 2010):
 maybe he feels silly cause it could make him look like a glutton?
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (20 May 2010):
 Has it been your tradition to exchange gifts? Could it be that you gift to him was so much better, so much more suitable than anything he's ever given you that he somehow feels wrongfooted?
I'd just brush it off. You tried to do something nice, and for whatever reason his attempt to be gracious was over the top. Let it go.
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A
female
reader, LilWun23 +, writes (20 May 2010):
maybe he just didnt like the gift and says he didnt because he didnt want to hurt your feelings
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