| A
age
36-40,
*
writes: My wife , Ria, is a beautiful caring. Wonderful women. A great wife and mother of our children.but .... Like an idiot , last month I went out to party while ria was here at home taking care of the kids like the great mother she is, I asked if she wanted to go with meh but she's had bad experiences with alchol so she didn't wanna be around it and asked if I wanted to stay instead. I agreed to stay. But was totally unhappy and was acting like a little kid, not really payin attention to her and pouting. She finally just said "go! But dnt do anything stupid!" . Rias. Very attractive girl , but she's always been self consious and has lower self esteem sometimes. Whenever were out together shell compare herself to other girls that are checking meh our something and shell seem a little sad and confused. She doesn't say she's comparing herself to them but I knoe she is, cuz u can just tell with her. Anyway on with my story... I got to the party and minutse in I was getting completely trashed!!! Like beyond drunk! There was one of my exs there ( I was with her for nine years!) Untill I was twenty one, I'm not twenty six and has been with ria since things fell out with my ex. (She cheated) .my ex got extremly handsy and started rubbin all over meh . Next thing I knoe were kissing. Her tongues in my mouth and. Then we end up in a room were I'm kissing her neck. One thing led to another and we ended up having sex!! After the sex. I realised how awful I felt and sobered up! I don't knoe how but I sobberd up very fast that night(not fast enough)I went straight home and took a three hour shower. Trying to scrub the dirty ness and guilt and humility off meh. I went to lay down when I was finished with my shower. I layed next to ria sweating bullets! She was still awake and. Said she was cold ( which was my q to put my arm around her and cuddle but when I did. I got reallly close to her and inhaled her lovely sent. I went running twords the toilet. Just thinking about how I'd never get to be that close to her again! Ria and I had talked about the infidelity stuff. And if she cheated, I'd leave, if I cheated shed leave. So I knoe I just can't tell her what I did! Cuz shed leave meh and I'd be miserable! I love my baby girl sooo much! I can't bare to lose her. My two kids jayden and jaylen are my world! I can't bare losing them either. .. But fast forwarding to two days ago... I told ria. I couldn't keep it in anylonger! She kept trying to have sex with meh but I just turned away or acted like I didn't want to ( even though I was dying to make love to her again!) I couldn't live with myself if I gave her something so I tried to hold off on that. When I sat her down and told her she couldn't look meh in my face. She just looked down at her hands and ccried. It cut me sooo deep that I made her hurt. Even when I swore I never would. She got up and started walking away but I ran to her and got on my knees and hugg on to the front of her legs and cried with her. Beggin her to not leave me. (Not very manly but I don't give a damn, I love her) I still remember her exact words " don't cry know! U weren't crying when u fucking did it! So dnt cry now and try to make a show to save ur ass, I gave u everything I was the best wife for u the best mother for ur kids I even role played with u to spice things up just because u wanted to! And u go out and sleep with jennifer?!!?!?(My ex)" she pusshed meh away from her and ran to our room. She packed her things and. And some of the kids stuff and put the kids in the car. The whole time I'm walking along side of her begging her not to do this. She says she knew it was just a matter of time before it happened.... Ugh what is wrong with me!?!??!? I screwed up so bad. I just want her to knoe I love her more than air and I would do anything ANYTHING just to have her here to cuddle with or hold her hand like the old times when I was having a long day at work she ( even though she hated feet) shed rubb mine and. Message my back. I messed it all iup cuz I'm such a dumbass I knoe! Some men dream about having a girl like ria. I want her so bad but I I just dnt knoe how to get her to come back.. My question is , what are some things I could do to maybe get her to consider not divorcing meh ( this morning my lawyer had called and said hed talked to her lawyer and she's already started the paperwork for divorce. Everything is sucha wreck! Someone help meh please please please! I've been texting her and. And callin her these past twoo days. But she won't reply or answer... I need help!
View related questions:
at work, cheated on my wife, divorce, drunk, her ex, infidelity, kissing, my ex, self esteem, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, jenspen778  +, writes (13 April 2012):
I would really like to know how this turned out. You definitely sound like you regret what you did. If anything, it woke you up and made you truly realize what you had. Unfortunately, this sounds like a rude awakening, thanks to the consequences. As a woman who is somewhat insecure, I cannot imagine going through what your wife did. I would love to know if she took you back... and if not, how are things in your world now?
P.S. I agree 100% w/Anonymous. Your wife should have an all-access pass to your phone, e-mail, facebook passwords, etc... forever... and you should make sure to include her in all outings. It sounds like you learned your lesson, and I hope things are well for you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIts been three weeks now.ria wasn't already plainning the diovorce my laywer was just giving meh a heads up ( were kinda close friends). I've seen my kidds three times. There grandma drops them off and picks them up. Ria doesn't wanna see meh at all. Its sooo devasting because I just want to talk to her and tell her how much I love her. And if she just gave meh another chance thing would. Be different and I could be a better husband that I knoe I can be. Rias mom has told meh ria hasn't been the same since. She hasn't really eaten anythin. Been as alert as she was before. she's just been super depressed. It hurts like hell knowing its all my fault. I should have just stayed home with my baby girl and after the kids were sleep made passionate love to her , but now its all ruined! Every morning I send ria a text tellin her how much I love her. Jusþ so she knoes she's still in my heart. I don't want this divorce to go through! My kids are startin to notice what's going on and are wondering why they only spend weekend with daddy and week days with mommy. I fuked up sooooo bad! I can't stand laying in this bed with out ria ! She was a little thicker and I loved holding her! That was one of the things she was soo insecure about , she thought I'd leave her or mess around with someone with a better body. My ex is skinny and in a fit shape. So that must have hurt her reaaaallly deep. I wish I was just able to hold and kiss her again
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2010): I agree with RyanS - the only way you can repair this is by making a major concession to her. You cannot possibly expect her to trust you after this: you have shown that you don't deserve to be trusted!
So you will have to make her feel secure by putting yourself in a position where you simply cannot cheat. That means that you agree NEVER to go out without her by your side, and never to drink. You also need to sacrifice any privacy you have by giving her full access to your phone, your email etc. And you must never see your ex again. The only way she can possibly feel secure with you is to have total transparency and access to everything. If you love her as much as you say you do, you shouldn't even have any hesitation about making these sacrifices for her.
I'm sorry I can't give you more consolation, because it seems like you truly regret what you have done and really love your wife, but this is the only way you can save your marriage.
...............................
A
male
reader, RyanS  +, writes (20 May 2010):
 Having sex with en ex is the worst feeling for a gf/wife.
Its a direct comprison for her and women just can't take it.
You made a major mistake. It was worse than paying an escort for something fancy.
The only way your wife will even give you a chance is you promise never to drink again in your life. You have to make some major sacrifice now. And if you break that promise, you will be a weak man, and she deserves someone better.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2010): I don't know why the male above is so suprised that she is leaving. I'm married and would do exactley the same if my husband cheated. Not all women are door mats u know.
To the OP, sorry to say but u made ur bed. I'm sorry that it looks like she's made her mind up. I guess the best thing u can do is learn from it and try and be the best dad to ur kids that u can.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2010): I think you've shown your hand in full and I am surprised at her resolve to divorce you immediately. Perhaps, she had already decide to leave you but was awaiting a good reason when you provided it for her.
...............................
|
