A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I'm 14 and i've had a misscarriage before and it really hurt me as i'm a loving person i'm not a mad teenager who take's drug's or is out every night of the week drinking. I'm a quiet type of person i don't go out unless it's with my family. i like to stay in with my mummy and wee sister and stuff. I love wee babys. there the best. I had a misscarriage on the 16th of may 2010 with my baby son. I was so hurt when this happened to me. My boyfriend was absolutely gutted as well he couldn't wait for his wee man to be here. I know you's are all probably thinking, wow 14 really young. i know it is really young but see when your mature and your a quiet sensible girl with a loving boyfriend of near 11 month's who love's babys and want's one as much as you do yourself, you feel like nothing's in your way. You lay in bed thinking about how you'd love a baby with the love of your life but the only people stoppin you is your parent's. I only have my mummy because my daddy left when i was young. He left my mummy on her own to bring up me and my brother. My brother is now 17 and im 14. I couldn't appreciate my mummy more for what she's done for me. She loved us to death she done it all on her own. My boyfriend is 16 and I'm 14--I'm 15 in Febuary. Recently we've been trying for a baby. The last 3 night's in a row he came inside me to try make me pregnant and we'd had unprotected sex couple off weeks before that. I was meant to have my period on the 23rd and its now the 31st, does anyone think 'm guaranteed to be pregnant now? Since he came in me the last 3 nights in a row and has came in me about 2 weeks before as well and yet i still HAVE NOT had my period. x
View related questions:
be pregnant, period, trying for a baby, unprotected sex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Shaz1994  +, writes (1 September 2010):
 heyyah im 15 and im expecting my 2nd baby (my 1st was born still-born at 26 weeks) when i was 14 and now that im pregnant agen im very scared of what might happen to this baby the doctors have already warned me that there is a higher risk of my baby bein born wiv disabilities becoz of how young i am but i didnt care on what my baby looked like all i wanted was my baby to have a life that was filled wiv love and thats what i plan on doing......i know that you want a baby becoz of the miscarriage but this is just ur head tellin you that you want another baby to replace the one u lost....trust me i went thru the same thing..... none of my pregnancies were planned and i dont think u shud be plannin a pregnancy at just the age of 14
im sorry if i sounded hypocritical but im onli goin off what i have experienced in pregnancy
hope u make the right decision xx
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (31 August 2010):
 You say you love "wee babys"(it's babies by the way), but are you aware that they don't stay wee very long? You do realize that growing kids only get more expensive, never the other way around? So I am assuming that both your boyfriend and yourself are rolling in the dough and you won't be a burden on society, am I right?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2010): You're not as mature as you think you are if you can't take the miscarriage as a sign that your body is not yet ready to bare children.
It's more than likely you will miscarry again, please don't go through that pain over and over in a vain attempt to have a child. Your body and definitely your mind are not ready yet.
You need to ask your mom about going to see a counselor, you think you're mature and sensible but you're not. It's neither mature nor sensible to not go out and have fun with your friends at 14, you might think that's sensible but your 14 and that's not normal.
It's not a baby you want either, it's unconditional love from someone that can't leave like your father did. That's where this all stems from your daddy leaving you family. That's why you need to go see a counselor, you seem to have a severe case of separation anxiety. You won't leave the house without your family because you're subconsciously afraid they'll leave you like your father did.
I'm not going to tell you your too young, you know you are and you know in your heart you only want the baby to fill a hole in your life a hole that a baby can't can't fill.
Get a puppy, seriously if you want something that will love you unconditionally, something that will spend it's entire life by your side, loving you and wanting to see you all the time, then get a dog. What you're considering is really unfair on your potential child. You want to bring a child into this world for all the wrong reasons, when you don't have the maturity nor the resources to give that child the best life possible. Love is not enough, you have to have money, you're own career, you need to have finished school, there are lots of things you don't have that, that child needs.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2010): I was a mature, quiet, sensible girl at 14 too. Now I'm 24 and I know for sure I'm still not ready to have a baby yet. I know women who've had kids really young like you and they all regret it now - not only for what they've missed in their own lives but in the restrictions their children were born into. I'm sure you would want the best for your baby, but until you know more about the world and experience life as an adult, you aren't properly equipped to teach your child about life. Over the next 5 or 10 years, I guarantee you'll change a lot and, looking back, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about. With a baby, you won't have the time to keep developing yourself.As for whether you're pregnant now, it's possible but not definite - from personal experience and that of friends, sometimes the stress/excitement of thinking you might be pregnant makes your period ridiculously late. One of my friends always had a regular 25 day cycle until one month she was worried she was pregnant and it didn't arrive for 45 days.
...............................
A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (31 August 2010):
 Only one question I have.. What if you have another miscarriage again, or what happens if your child is disabled? Children are more at risk from having problems in pregnancy.Children shouldn't be having children. You started having sex with this guy you'd only known a couple of months. You started having sex more or less as soon as your periods started. You've never had a childhood, but you think you can provide a child with one. You say you love your mum, so what do you do? You want to bring home another child to feed, when money at the moment is tight. That's not love, that's being selfish. What about what your mother wants. Do you think she wants to spend the next couple of years looking after you and your baby.She should have told the police to arrest your boyfriend for molesting a child.And your boyfriend. You haven't even been out with him a year, and most of that time you've been spending talking about babies. Men like sex, and babies seem cute, untill they take all your money and cry every night so you can't sleep.Anyway, pregnancy will come if you keep trying. I feel sorry for your mother, and sorry for the child you will bring into the world and force to live in ignorance and poverty.You know little, you have nothing, but you think you can be the best mother in the world. You haven't even given yourself time to grieve over the last baby. Again, I feel sorry that you are so stubborn.. You will find out in time, but by then it will be too late. You'll be the one crying because you can't provide your child with the things that they want. You'll be the one crying when you have so little education your child thinks you are stupid. You'll be the one who will regret her mistakes. Your not sensible at all, and your only thinking about yourself.
...............................
A
female
reader, LLindy87 +, writes (31 August 2010):
 I think its incredibly naive of you that you're trying to get pregnant at 14, I know you explained your justification of this but can you really afford to have a baby right now? You go to school I assume, are you planning on going to college? How do you know at 14 that this guy is really the guy you're meant to be with? I think you're screwing your life up.
I really don't mean to be mean but sometimes its what people need to hear. You said your mom would not approve of this, doesn't that tell you something there? Wouldn't you want to have a baby when you're older so when you tell the world they won't be taking it as a negative thing but a wonderful thing instead?
Your body is still growing, you are going through puberty years after you first get your period. Teenage years your body changes and you will be putting your body through a lot by having a baby.
My advice for you is to not try to have a baby and if you like babies take up a babysitting job full time and you'll realize that it takes a lot to take care of another person, how are you going to do that when you are 14 and will be at school most of the day, how will you pay for daycare?
Its normal to want a baby but its responsible to wait until the right time in your life, for your sake, your boyfriends sake and the baby's sake...don't try for a baby.
...............................
|
