A
female
age
36-40,
*nsecuregirl
writes:I have ugly breasts. They're small for my body (I have huge hips) and they have big areolas. I also don't like their shape much, it's a very common shape but it's not round and nice. If they were rounder and had small areolas I wouldn't mind the size, but I just got plain ugly breasts!I can't help but notice that the "ideal" breast is round, perky, with small areolas and nipples and in most cases big. I hate my breasts and I'm thinking of getting implants and an areola reduction.I feel so ugly, like my breasts are not gorgeous or femenine. I mean grab a Playboy and tell me they all have small breasts with big areolas... I've even heard some guys say that combination is gross... only men I've heard say that type of breast looks good are men who're too old for me (35+).I hate, hate, hate my breasts! I don't know what to do... should I get the surgery? Or else how do I get over it? Guys I've been with have never complimented my breasts, nor any other "sexual" part of me, so I feel like I'm not sexually appealing, just cute. I am a sexual person, I want to be sexually attractive, I want guys to be attracted to my sexual bits! So don't tell me it's better because "they love you for you"... 'cause that just makes me feel uglier.I just feel very unattractive, because men in my experience either prefer cute, small boobs with small areolas, or big breasts, whatever type of areola they have.
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female
reader, Battista  +, writes (10 November 2010):
I always think that womens' preoccupation with breast size is analogous to the male obsession with penis size. I also think that the same answer applies.
If you are attracted to a man, is the first/only/overriding factor that you take into account the size of his penis? I would imagine not. If you could tell that he had a large penis would that make him seem all that much more attractive, or would it be the way he acts, talks, dresses, etc. I would think that you would answer the latter.
I have spoken to my fiance about this many times. I have a small chest and biggish hips but he doesn't have a problem with it; in fact, the only one with any sort of issue is me and how I view myself. I would love to have bigger breasts but I have come to realise that they do not define me; they are a part of me, but they are not what makes me who I am. I like to think that I have other aspects about me which make me attractive and that it is not all about what my boobs look like.
I think you are putting too much importance on your breasts, and I also think you are not giving enough credit to the opposite sex if you think that breasts are all they care about. I think you should also remember that people will not see your areolae until you are actually in bed with them, so I don't see that as a really big issue to be honest, at least, not in attracting men.
I think most of the problem is that you have very low self confidence in your body image. I am sure that in fact you have a great chest, but you seem to be blaming it for all your insecurities, which I think might be misguided. I have big hips too but it's no big deal; I started exercising and toned up. You need to stop comparing yourself to magazine models. Yes they are attractive but the whole point is that they are models, not reality. That's their job. Try focusing on the good things about your body if you want to be more sexually attractive to men. I have been told that one of the most appealing things about a woman is her confidence.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (10 November 2010):
 Get breast implants if you wish, why not. Many women do.
But I am afraid it won't help you at all and you'll have thrown your money away. You exude such a self-devaluation, such a self -loathe I am tempted to say, that I doubt one surgical procedure will be enough. You'd probably start obsessing right away about your ass, legs, stomach, nose, skin, hair, everything.
I am also striken by what seems to be the underlying assumptions under your preoccupation with boobs : that the most important thing is attracting male stares. Turning them on ,making them drool over you. Having them compliment you all the time about your looks.
I am no way some intransigent feminist, au contraire I have always been sort of vain and "into" the way I show myself to the world, but, Jeez girl, there's a limit.
There are other things in life than tickling the fancy of random , and randy,guys and having them lust after your breasts ! Is male desire the only thing that can make you happy , cheer you up and give you satisfaction ?... If yes, did you ask yourself WHY ? Why is it so important to impress men that you don't even know ? What do you care, if they prefer Monica, Sasha or Pamela ?
First find the answers to these questions, then if you still want, go under the surgeon's knife...
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A
female
reader, sugarcandy  +, writes (10 November 2010):
If they bother you, get the surgery.
However you need to work on self-confidence first, otherwise you will never be happy with you however you look.
And also consider the adverse affects of fake breasts.. infections, bursting implants, loss of sensitivity, scars, misshapen or botched breast jobs, i've had friends say they feel constantly like two balloons on their chest, like foreign objects that didn't belong in their body etc. Consider all risks before you put yourself under the knife!
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A
female
reader, insecuregirl +, writes (10 November 2010):
insecuregirl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBut Flynn, Monica is an hourglass, she has big boobs. As a matter of fact, there's this one pic of her I found, where she is topless and her boobs look quite puffy. Of course the pic is photoshopped, she's like against a black background and she's like coming out of the water. Her boobs look quite similar to mine, except mine are smaller. But shapewise, colorwise, and the relationship between areola size and breast size is the same. She has big areolas, except she has big boobs so they look better, and she also is smoking all around and has a gorgeous face. Same with Sasha Grey. She has a gorgeous face.
I'm just a regular woman, not at all as gorgeous as they are. No guy would ever "tear apart this world" just to be in the same room with me. So yeah, your argument provides little reassurance, because I don't even have fantastic boobs or a fantastic arse to make up for my less than gorgeous face and bone structure.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2010): You are gonna trust what you see in Playboy? Seriously?
I stopped finding those Barbie-Dolls attractive right when I discovered Monica Bellucci and Sasha Gray.
Sasha is a petite woman, and I and almost every other guy on the planet would tear apart this world if it got us in the same room with her.
Monica... well she just exudes class and sensuality all-round without dropping into smutty.
The world is a big place. Just because one guy likes one body-type, it does not mean this applies to all of my sex.
In truth, I find the massive fake-breasted Playboy model to be repulsive. But thats me, plenty agree and plenty disagree.
Cosmetically altering yourself will not change your fractured world view, or the unhealthy way you view yourself.
If you are not enough without the surgery, you'll never be enough with it. Trust me on that.
Flynn 24
Flynn 24
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (10 November 2010):
 Excellent reply CaringGuy!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (10 November 2010):
If you genuinely believe that, then that's up to you. I think that's a little sad to be honest, because you're basically saying I've just 'settled' for my girlfriend. Not so. I love her because she has a fantastic personality. If you think fake breasts will suddenly make you more attractive, then that's also up to you. You have to do what you think is right. But ultimately, my feelings are you will still be unhappy. I also think that perhaps you lack a certain understanding of men as well, probably because you've been hurt a lot. We don't sit there oggling breasts whilst ignoring far more important things, like will she make a decent girlfriend/wife/mother, or whether she has a personality that is interesting, or hobbies, or anything in common with us. And your attitude towards men is a little shallow. A fake pair of breasts won't make us more interested. There is more to a woman than breasts, and we're intelligent enough and respectful enough to realize that.
The guys you really want just won't fall over themselves for a woman who has fake breasts and a huge problem with confidence. It's the lack of confidence that drives good guys away in the end. The best breasts in the world wouldn't make a woman a Goddess. A good personality does.
Men are not shallow. That's something women are led to believe. Believe us all, when we say that fake breasts make absolutely no difference to decent guys. Sure, she might look interesting to some guys at first, but then what's the point if throughout the relationship she's just unhappy or insecure. That's where the attraction dies. You will not keep a decent guy purely because you have fake breasts. This plan of yours simply won't work. Men are not dumb, and we will see past the fake breasts to the very underconfident woman behind them. And then your nightmare will come round in a circle, because a decent guy will move on, while a player will use you.
Your major problem is your confidence. If fake breasts suddenly give you that confidence, then that is one thing. If you could go out with confidence and a smile and really be happy, then it's worth it. But you just won't attract the kind of guy you want if you get fake breasts and you fail to solve your love confidence issues. Fake breasts will not make you more appealing unless you solve your low confidence issues. In fact, they'd probably make you seem even less confident than you already are.
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A
female
reader, insecuregirl +, writes (9 November 2010):
insecuregirl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI've met nice guys who're able to "look past" these kind of flaws, but ultimately, they're men, they produce a lot of testosterone and have a penis... and in my experience, while players are shallow and nice guys look past flaws, if a girl has a "nice rack" they will all think that is ideal, lust, get hard, whatever.
Nice guys are just better at settling, that's all.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (9 November 2010):
It depends what you really want. If you're wanting surgery to make you feel good about yourself, that's one thing. But you seem to be wanting surgery to make men compliment you. That's a bad thing. Because you'll get surgery, and then guys will only like you for your breasts and won't care about who you are.
You are not a pair of breasts. You're a woman. That's what you need to realize.
Surgery and bigger breasts won't make you attractive to the kind of guy you're looking for. You're looking for a man who accepts you as you are. Get fake breasts and the guy will only want you for your breasts. And then you will be back here wondering why you attract just players.
You're wanting surgery for the wrong reasons. You will not attract any guy you truly want with fake breasts. You'll just get the players who want to put their hands on your chest, and will not give a damn about who you are.
Also, Playboy is fantasy land. It's not the real world. And you can be sure that all those playboy girls have things done to them.
Does it make them attractive? Only to the guys who would use them. Not anyone decent.
So, what are you looking for? Players who will just have sex with you and use you because you have fake breasts? Or a decent guy who actually cares about who you are? Decide. But remember, chances are you will not find both.
Fake breasts = fake guys.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (9 November 2010):
If you get a surgery, you should do it for yourself, not because it's what you think men will like. I prefer real. I don't really care about size or the shape of the nipple. With bigger hips, I'm sure you've got a rockin' booty. That's my preference at least. Then again, I'm 30 so maybe I'm in that "too old for you to care about our opinion" age range.
Get the surgery for yourself if you want it. Many guys really don't care. If you strive to be a guy's fantasy you'll always be disappointed. Our fantasies change, and what we find attractive differs from man to man. Also, I don't like what the media portrays as "attractive." I preferred Playboy before all the models were cookie cutter, surgery laden, bleach blonde, "beauties."
Give me a real woman any day of the week! "Flaws" and all. I don't care about your little extra tummy, I've got one too. I don't care if your breasts are perfect, my pecks aren't perfect either. I don't care if your butt is round and firm. All I care is that you want to be with me. When I tell you that you're beautiful, I mean it, despite your negative self image.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2010): if you feel this way get a boob job. But I think it doesnt matter about your body,but homnestly its whats on the inside.Every one is beutiful.But other than that get a boob job :)
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A
male
reader, Myke +, writes (9 November 2010):
Men look at more than that. Most women have breast augmentation only because they want it. My wife did it even though I told her that I did not care. If it's a big deal to you, then have surgery or find a new way to think about it. Just do one or the other instead of being stuck in the middle wasting your time.
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