A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Dear ReaderI have a huge problem, my 15 year old niece has just told me she is 1mth 4days pregnant.My sister does not know, my niece told me she wants to keep the baby, i have tried to persuade her to tell her mother first. i have also advise her she will firstly need to speak to a councilor to make an informed decision.I have given her a deadline to tell her mother, as she has exams for the whole week she asked me to keep her confidence until they finish, due to the reaction she will face from my sister who has a very bad temper.The question is.....is can this wait another week? if i reveal her status then a war will occur and she will fail her exams. Please can you advise me. Thank you.
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female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (9 November 2010):
One week is not going to make that much difference. Your niece confided in you and I would assume she trusts you. It would be wrong to break that trust for now. You could offer to be there when your sister hears the news. It would be better if your niece does tell her, rather than you breaking the news. Make it clear to your niece that if she doesn't tell her mother then you will. I don't suppose any parent would be delighted to hear that their teenage daughter is pregnant. However, it is not the end of the world either and she will come around to the idea eventually. You are right in advising your niece to seek professional help. She could contact the Marie Stopes organisation for advice on her options. If she keeps the baby then the school can make plans for her education. She should also see her GP for antenatal services booking.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (9 November 2010):
You set a fair deadline, and you've given a good reason that it should be kept quiet for a week until your niece has done her exams. She should be the one to tell her mother, and she should do it in her own time when she is ready. A week is a good deadline, and given that there will be a bad reaction here, it's probably for the best. Tell your niece that you will be there for her in any capacity, such as advice and such, and then give her the week. It would probably also be a good idea if you were there with her when she tells her mother.
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A
female
reader, redlight +, writes (9 November 2010):
I would allow her to finish up with her exams, get prepared for the consequences. Make her keep the deadline you two have agreed upon. Be there for her, dont let it get out of hand if your sister has violent behavior. Just be her aunt, and be supportive. Help her as much as you can, does she know about the father? will he be involved? she is only 15 she needs support just be there for her. Protect her from her mother if you must but she needs to tell her whats going on. She needs to recive the proper prenatal care.
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