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age
41-50,
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writes: Hey everybody,Really need your help so here goes. Thanks in advance.I've been dating this girl for a couple of months now and everything was going well up until a week ago.It's the time of the month and I don't want to sound like just a typical male. I want to try and understand.But she's just went totally evil. I try to help her and support her and she tells me to leave her alone. I try to comfort her and she tells me not to touch her. I asked her to come to mines last night to stay and she was being really nasty. I told her to calm down and she got all upset and said she didn't want to be at mines and went into the bathroom and cried. She was just totally a different person. This morning when I asked her if she felt any better I tried to give her a cuddle and she just went off on one. "Don't touch me!" She then said she was going home at 7.30 in the morning. I told her, "Well I take it you'll be gone by the time I get out the shower?" She said, "Yes". But when I got out the shower she was still there. I was going to work so I took her home and she kicked off again. I finally snapped and she got all upset again. Saying I made her fell terrible and that she was never staying at mines again. I know she didn't mean it because five minutes later she was asking when she'd see me again. I'm trying to support her and be there for her but she told me this is how it always is at this time of month. Get use to it. I've known her a long time. She Had a crush on me when she was younger. (16. I was 21) I told her I thought she was too young at the time but we've met up again and we're together. She's told me she loves me, but what should I do? Should I call it a day? Or am I not thinking straight because of the way she's treated me these past fews days.When she's okay things are the best they have ever been for me, but I don't like this side of her. I know it's all about being there for one another. Taking the good with the bad and I'm all for that, but she's told me she doesn't want me anywhere near her at this time of month.What the hell do I do because I have no idea?Thank you.
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female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (30 January 2011):
 hi
yes i believe in PMT or PMS if you prefer, also the more severe PMDD (premenstrual dysphoric disorder)
research these, the internet has plenty of information. does she have these angry outbursts just with you or does she treat everyone and everything the same?
she can help herself by taking vitamin B6, as a supplement or eating foods rich in vitamin B, but some ladies actually benefit from an antidepressant if their symptoms are severe.
talk to her about this (not when she is premenstrual though!) and ask her to get help for it. make sure you know when her menstrual cycle is so that you can be aware of what her mood is likely to be. are you sure that these moods have a cyclical pattern? if not she may have some other mood disorder (eg bi-polar)
xx
A
female
reader, LittleMissy +, writes (29 January 2011):
Buy her lots of chocolate, magazines, make her cups of tea, tell her she's looking beautiful... (I always feel bloated and ugly when I'm on my period). All in all just try cheer her up abit, however, there are limits.. I get very moody on my period but I still have enough respect for my boyfriend to control my mouth, and if I feel like crying I'll go do it somewhere else! ... Reassure her when her time of the month comes around, but but your foot down at some point, otherwise her behavior could run over to when its not her time. Would she behave this way with family and friends and tell them to get used to it?! Probably not!
I'm a woman, I have periods, and it sounds like shes being a bit of a drama queen to me!
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A
female
reader, just a female  +, writes (29 January 2011):
 hmm, a problem i see.
me being a women understand what its like for most woman at that time of the month. i get snappy at my own boyfriend and im sure he wonders what the hell is wrong with since i was fine and happy yesterday, but that the thing when its that time woman just get that little but more impatient and moody in some cases like our alot more. but the thing is when it that time of month sometimes things are said that your girl doesnt really mean, and regrets later( she most likely does) and then she might say something else, try to understand when i say she probably doesnt mean the nasty things she says, try to be strong and just give her, her space. but if its to much for you to handle maybe shes just not right for you?
hope this helped
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A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (29 January 2011):
 Ok ... well, I don't blame you for feeling upset about this. Don't worry - no women should be offended - you are just pointing out the truth. ALL women go through different moods at different times of the month - not just when it is that time of the month. Eg, around when a woman is ovulating, she will be most likely real nice, funny, attractive, flirty, up for it. A few days after that she might be a bit down, and this will then probably get worse, with a couple of really bad days - when I say bad, I mean crying at everything, or even for no reason at all, and being impatient, over sensitive, irrational and generally an emotional wreck. Most women I know are just a bit prickly/difficult for a couple of days (women sense this in other women, as well - I just think 'ok, she is being a total cow today, but she can't help it - and it will be me soon! So better forgive her it!'). But, some women get it very badly, and are almost impossible to live with. There have been studies done about this being the time of the month when women commit the most murders, as well!! So, you are NOT wrong.
But should you put up with it? I think this is actually quite an important lesson for you as a guy. Answer is: I think yes. I think you should treat her like someone who is basically disabled around that time, and don't take any of it seriously. Remember: it is not a side of her, either. This isn't her being a bad person. This isn't, actually, her. This is her being chemically controlled - being overrun by crazy hormones. Don't underestimate them - they can have as strong an effect as alcohol and drugs, I think! So, I think you have to learn how to let it all be water off a duck's back for you. Ask her before (not during those days!) what she thinks would be the best way for you to deal with it/her when she is feeling upset like that (talk about it as her feeling upset/bad - don't talk about it as her being deliberately mean / a bad person ...).
You just have to accept it is life, and, I think, give it a few more months, because it sounds like she is worth it. And don't blame her - she is not pumping herself of something that makes her feel bad ...
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female
reader, SillyB  +, writes (29 January 2011):
 You could be my boyfriend writing this...
From a womans perspective - I tend to turn evil also, but truly I can't help it. My boyfriend says I become another person, I instigate fights, I make rude comments, I become indecisive and clumsy and over sensitive. Anything that he says that might be slightly off is blown out of proportion. The thing is, it feels so real - its almost like being on a drug where you are hyper sensitive. I end up crying and/or spending a day or two around the house moping around. That is how sad and upset I become.
Just last night, I started instigating. I asked my boyfriend the top five favorite physical traits on his list.
He said:
1. Breasts (to which I stated - well I don't have those. He responded saying that I actually do have the type he likes...which to me isn't true because he likes DD and I'm a C).
2. Height (I have that)
3. Great legs (I have that).
4. Little tiny waist (I don't have that)
5. Latina skin coloring (I'm European DO NOT HAVE THAT).
I ended up upset and sulking because the skin color bit bothered me so much. I refused to have him touch me and then I became mean. Today I'm not wanting to talk to him. Things that wouldn't bother me AS MUCH, suddenly do.
I guess you need to review your behavior. Are you saying things that hurt? Area you doing things that might upset her? Are you being loving and kind enough? Are you doing special nice things for her.
I think you need to become extra sensitive and vigilant during this time. In addition, extra kisses, hugs and flowers/gifts will go a long way too to reassure her that everything is ok.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2011): lol this happens to me
i get reaaaaaaall moody - my bf doesnt like it
but i try to keep calm as i am consious of it
however your gf seems to have extra problems
just see her less when its that time
dont touch her
when she gets mad just keep quiet
and yes go see a doctor - hormones can do weird things!
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female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (29 January 2011):
 Advise her to go and see her doctor to see if anything can be done about her mood swings when she is on her period. All women are different, and some suffer more than others. It's comforting to know that there are guys out there willing to stick by women when something so normal makes them go totally crazy. Hopefully the doctor might be able to recommend something for her (i don't know what though...)
If not, it may have to come down to the fact that you don't see her when she is on her period, but that can be rough on you and is a last resort really. I hope she can get some help for her problem and that you guys can be happy. Best of luck!
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female
reader, auntieloulou +, writes (29 January 2011):
 I do feel very sorry for you!!! some women can be very harsh and irrational when it is their time of month, but to be honest she should now at her age be able to control most of it. i used to get like it every month but now i know that i should go into another room when i feel myself becoming worked up, and calm myself down.
however, you have only been dating this girl for a short while, so chances are she is not this extreme every month. maybe this was just a bad month. it varies each month so just go with the flow (no pun intended). if it carries on to this extreme every month, then you need to speak to her (when she isn't on her period) and tell her how it makes you feel. you need to tell her in a none typical guy way i.e dont say 'your so moody' etc. ask her what to do to help her. maybe she would appreciate a hot water bottle, a snuggle on the sofa and a good film? maybe a hot bath with candles and a glass of wine? you just need to be attentive but not OTT. give her her space (if watching a film let her spread out on the sofa alone, unless she asks you to sit with her) and try and be calm.
hope this helps a little! good luck!
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A
female
reader, Blonde68 +, writes (29 January 2011):
Oh dear... the dreaded PMT! Don't take it personal, the way she is behaving towards you is how a lot of women behave prior to a period... and to be honest, the older you get the worse your periods get and you do get stroppy, tired and your hormones are all over the place.... basically all you can do is steer clear of us because everything irritates us, we would even argue that you are breathing incorrectly. I take it she is in her 30s too... yes? I am single, and have a teenage son, and unfortunately for him, he takes all the flack about 10 days before I am due on and he has even wisened up to it and mentions PMT which wounds me up even more..
It is possibly a good idea for her to visit your GP, as it may be a hormonal thing that tablets can cure.
I know its difficult but it is something only women know what we are experiencing. Just don't take it personal because she doesn't mean to behave like she does.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (29 January 2011):
This does sound rough, to be fair. But don't be too quick to end it. This could be a major imbalance for her. Women will be able to give you a better answer that me (clearly - since I'm a man).
All I know is this:
1 - Do not ever tell a woman to calm down when she's mad. It never works.
2 - When she says don't touch her, don't touch her.
Don't worry, you're not just a typical male. This is something every man has to face up to at some point. At least you're trying to understand. Hopefully you'll get some good answers from women on here, and we shall be enlightened.
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