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Should I tell my parents I can hear them having sex?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Family, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 April 2011) 18 Answers - (Newest, 4 April 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I still live at home and my parents are in their 60's. I keep hearing them having sex and it's getting quite annoying and loud. Do you think I should say anything to them?

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A male reader, Ambassadeur Koko Sudan +, writes (4 April 2011):

Ambassadeur Koko agony auntIf Iwere in your shoes, I would do everything to get my own place as advised by many. If it is a situation that holds you still at your parents home, then share it with them that you are old enough and you think all of you should give hand in finding a place of your own. Even if you put on headphone and watch TV or listen to music this won't make you confortable because you are forced to do that. Don't tell them about the noise but just wisely emphasize on you getting a place of your own as an excuse.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2011):

Thanks everyone for the help :) I can't afford to move it at the moment and my brother still lives at home too so to the person said they are trying to get me to move it they aren't.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2011):

No, you should tell them that it's high time you should move the hell out, and get your own place so that they can have the privacy they deserve!

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A female reader, Abella United States +, writes (2 April 2011):

Abella agony auntSounds like you have great healthy happy parents. They still want to maintain that connection, which is really lovely.

I agree with all the head phone or ear plug suggestions.

But if it becomes unbearable, for you, can you suggest that you move to a further away bedroom? (without telling them why)

It would be (perhaps) too drastic for you to move to your own place. Besides if you shared a place with others your own age you may have to put up with hearing the same

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A female reader, pinkdiva101 United States +, writes (2 April 2011):

pinkdiva101 agony auntFirst off I think it's great that there still intimate but at the same time it's still gross to think of it :) so keep yourself busy listen to your favorite song on your iPod or watch a movie you love to keep from thinking or hearing it. And GOOD LUCK!!!

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A female reader, natasia United Kingdom +, writes (2 April 2011):

natasia agony auntIt isn't great to hear, I guess, but everyone is right that it is their home and also yes, a good thing that they have such a close relationship. So, don't say anything, be pleased for them, and watch films with headphones on if you need to block out noise ... or move out ...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2011):

What an extremely weird comment from vintage64, I'm hoping that was a joke lol..

I agree with the others, you shouldn't tell them. It's awfully embarrassing. Besides, I don't think it's right they should have to 'quiet it down' in their house at their age, as you're not a little kid anymore.

Instead of actually saying to them 'I can hear you having sex!' perhaps drop little comments like, did you know the walls are really thin? I can hear everything from next door, or something. I'm sure they'll get the hint.

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A female reader, mystiquek United States +, writes (2 April 2011):

mystiquek agony auntI'm sorry but if it their home, its really rather out of line to tell them. I dont think anyone would feel too comfortable with that conversation. As suggested, why not use a noise cancelling headset, or get a white noise machine?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2011):

Should you tell them? Hell no. I have a son, mid twenties on the other side of one wall, and my mother who is 86, on the other side of another wall, can they hear us? Yes, do we care NO, why should we? I hope they can hear us for the next 30 years.

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A female reader, Anonymous1996 Australia +, writes (2 April 2011):

Anonymous1996 agony auntI think not.

I mean, I personally would find it extremely awkward to tell my parents that!

Also, you should be proud! I mean sex at their age! phew, thats amazing!!

You should let them have some fun, and just ignore what you hear.

But, if it does get 'out of hand', and you are comfortable talking to them about this sort of thins, then just ask them, nicely, and without attitude, to keep it down.

If you can't say it to there faces, write a short note, and leave it on their door, or in their room, or somewhere they check regularly

Hope this helps!!

-Kind regards, Jordyn

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2011):

It is their house so the answer is no. If it is a major problem for you I would suggest you move into your own place so you don't have to listen to them. (Maybe they are trying to get you to move out?)

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A female reader, Lizzy111 United Kingdom +, writes (1 April 2011):

Totally agree, get ear plugs or your own place. Congrats to ur parents for still being in love and having it!!!!!!

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A female reader, dmartin89 United Kingdom +, writes (1 April 2011):

dmartin89 agony auntIm thankful that my mum and step dad have sex, its a sign of a healthy relationship!

If it bothers you that much, move out. Or plug some earphones into the TV.

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A male reader, dirtball United States +, writes (1 April 2011):

dirtball agony auntI agree with Full moon temptress1 that you should be thankful they are still so much in love after all these years. Let them enjoy themselves, they've earned it.

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A male reader, honestman Mexico +, writes (1 April 2011):

Please, don't tell them anything.

Let them enjoy!

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (1 April 2011):

chigirl agony auntNo, don't say anything. Buy some ear plugs instead, and if they ask why you use them you can mention in a casual way that the walls aren't sound proof. But it's not something you should tell them really. If it annoys you move to a different part of the house, move out, or buy some ear plugs.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2011):

If it's their place, no.

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A female reader, Full moon temptress1 United Kingdom +, writes (1 April 2011):

This so reminds me of when i was a little girl.I remember banging on the wall saying i know what your doing, and feeling mortified.You are now older,and it is there house,Be thankful your mom and dad are still enjoying themselves at there age.If its bothering you so much,maybe you should find your own place.

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