A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend likes me to do oral but I'm scared to. All his ex girlfriends gave him oral. He expects me to give him oral to. I tried it once but stopped. We really love each other and I am scared that if I do not do it he will leave me or cheat on me. Should I do it or not?
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female
reader, sugarplum101  +, writes (24 September 2009):
Of course your boyfriend asked for it. They all want it and they all like it.
It's not clear why you are scared. If you don't want to do it because you are afraid you won't be good at it then go ahead and try it...practice makes perfect. You can look up how to do it online. But trust me, guys this age arn't that picky.
If you are just not ready to try something like that, don't do anything that you arn't 100% sure you are ready for. You have your whole life to explore your sexuality, don't rush yourself. If he won't wait...well he's probably not someone you want to be sharing so intimately with. Some women go their whole lives without giving oral sex. Though I will be honest, it's not that taboo anymore and the majority of woman do do it.
I personally enjoy giving oral sex because nothing you ever do will put you more in control of your partner. It's empowering if approached from the right mind set.
Also, if you do decide that this is something you are 100% comfortable with I would recommend a "you first" policy. If he wants you to go down on him...then he should definitely be willing to go down on you. And since it was his idea...he can go first.
A
male
reader, Confuzzled012 +, writes (24 September 2009):
 Wow. Telling her that everyone else's advice was "feel-good babble" was completely disrespectful. Just because you don't agree with it, dosen't make it wrong.
And No, wanting it does not make him a bad guy, but breaking up with her for it does make him a jerk. There are llaternatives to oral sex and someone who makes that more important than all of the qualities and attributes of that person is not someone with whome a relationship-oriented girl whould be.
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A
male
reader, WindupBird +, writes (24 September 2009):
 Listen -- everyone below me here has said the "right" thing to do. I will tell you the truth, which is as follows:Most guys your age and older will expect oral. That's just the way it is. He will also probably not truly understand any reason you give as to why you don't want to do it -- it may just make you seem very sexually inhibited which is scary to a guy who is thinking of committing to a woman.You don't HAVE to do anything with him...kiss him, have sex with him, go down on him etc...but if you don't he will be dissapointed. People probably won't like this answer but I imagine you asked your question because you wanted to hear the truth, not some feel-good babble.My advice -- you want to keep him, give it a go. It doesn't make him a bad guy that he wants it...it just makes him a guy. If you really hate it admit that you hate it and offer him something else naughty that sounds more palatable to you.Best of luck to you.
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A
male
reader, Confuzzled012 +, writes (23 September 2009):
Reasons you should:
You want to please him.
You are curious.
Reasons you should most definitely not:
To make him stay with you.
peer pressure.
You may be scared but you may also want to do this. If he leaves you because you won't, then you really really shouldn't be with him anymore anyawy, because he'll probably use you for a lot of other things.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2009): not that your guy is like this, but honestly ive been the girl that guys have gone too when their girlfriends dont completely satisfy them. not all guys are like that though, and if you satisfy him in other ways tell him he can deal without. you shouildnt do anything that you're too scared to do though
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A
female
reader, leo3 +, writes (23 September 2009):
 dont do something jus because he wants you to, but honey giving head really isnt that bad. it might be akward at first, but after a while its actually kind of fun and a nice way to tease him and get what YOU want out of him (playfully of course). i dont think he'll cheat on u if you dont give him head tho, if you really dont want to do it then just find creative ways around it ;)
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (23 September 2009):
He shouldn't 'expect' anything from you, so don't let him pressurize you at all. If you're scared, maybe research techniques on the internet. If, however, you don't want to do it, then tell him you won't. Hopefully, he'll be a good guy and understand. Otherwise you'd be better without him.
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A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (23 September 2009):
 Sweety it's up to you if you want to do it then do it! if not then don't! he shouldn't force you
at the end of the day it's your choice!
if he loves you he'll stick by you whether or not you give him oral or not pressure you into doing it and letting you do it as and when you feel comfortable enough too.
if he goes off and cheats on you then you know he wasn't worth your time and definately be thankful you didn't give him oral.
if he loves you he'll respect your decision and speak no more of it unless you bring it up and decide you want too.
it's a two way thing not one way.
he can't always expect what he wants.... it's up to you!
remember that!
:)
hope this helps lovely!
x ilovebowsandcherries x
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