A
female
age
30-35,
*opgirl93
writes:right, so i started college at the beginning of september and ive met loads of nice new people. Including this one boy, he is in my class and he makes me laugh so much, and in the last two weeks of knowing him ive become completely attracted to him. We have so much in common, we have the same sense of humor and find the same things funny. Its like everything about him is perfect. He is very good looking, he is sweet ( in his own sort of way) and we get on so well. Seeing him makes me smile and when he talks to me his beautiful brown eyes just capture me, and i know i might sound stupid describing him in that way but its the only way i can think of putting it. It sounds perfect doesnt it.Here is the problem. I have a boyfriend of 7 months who i 'think' i love. He will do anything for me, we have had a few disagreements in the past but doesnt everyone?! I dont have a bad word to say about my boyfriend thats where i need someones help.Im stuck between my boyfriend and my college friend who ive known for 2 weeks...Any advice please help...And can you still love someone though your attracted to somebody else?thank you. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2009): I went through the same thing when i started university. I had a very hard 1st year due to my feelings for my friend. I loved him from week 1 like you said. The common interests and ambition is what struck me. I went through a period where i hung about with my friend very often, i never told anyone about my boyfriend until i couldn't stand it. I told a few close friends about my situation and they all told me to dump the bf and go with the friend. It all came spilling out by another so called friend who told him i liked him and told him i had a boyfriend. The guy got really upset and got really drunk and texted me telling me how he felt, but didnt want to get in the way of me and my boyfriend. So everything really went bottoms up at uni. I couldnt stand being around him feeling as i did and knowing he felt the same. I ended up getting rid of my boyfriend (very traumatic experience, i'd been with him for a few months short of 3 years)and going with the uni guy. I've loved him ever since and we're now almost 3 years together too.(and still very good friends with my EX, even though i can't meet him personally... internet is fine lol).good luck!
A
female
reader, jessjess +, writes (23 September 2009):
 Completely agree with the previous post.However, do you know how this new college boy feels towards you? Seeing as you clearly still have strong feelings for your current boyfriend as you have been with him for a while with only a few disagreements etc, even if it is not quite at the 'love' stage yet, you need to think whether or not what you ALREADY have with him is worth risking for what you COULD/MAY POSSIBLY IN THE FUTURE have with this new boy. If you are completely attracted to this new boy then that does show to a degree that perhaps things are really far from perfect with your boyfriend and perhaps you would be doing him a favour by setting him free to find someone who will be as attracted to him as you clearly are to the other boy. I would say follow your heart and your instincts as cheesy as that sounds, but remember to consider that 'the greener grass on the other side is often artificial turf'. Just make sure you feel sure in your decision before leaving your boyfriend of 7 months. You're young though, and whatever happens will happen for the best I'm sure. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (23 September 2009):
Read what you wrote about that new guy, then read how you described your boyfriend. Then think very carefully. You're still young, so love is quite a big word to use. It just seems that you might not actually love your boyfriend. If you did, you wouldn't really have this problem.
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