A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok so i have a bit of a sexual problem. My girlfriend does not like giving me oral. We have been sexually active for about 2 years now out of a 3 year relationship but at the begining she liked giving me oral. At the begining she gave me head everytime we had sex and whenever we just messed around and i would give her oral about 3/4 of the time. After like a year and a half she pretty much stopped giving me oral even tho now i always give her oral for about like 15-20 minutes before we start having sex. She said that at the beginning she liked to give it to me but now she feels like she over did it and she doesnt like giving it anymore. It just sucks because i dont quit eating her until she orgasms then she wants to go straight to sex and will actually say shes turned off if i ask her for head. Well not just simply turned off but if i ask her for some she will say no and if i insist she will say she is getting turned off.I dont know what to do because i make sure she has maxium pleasure everytime we have sex but she only gives me oral when she says she feels "freaky" which is like 1 out of 10 times. And its weird because she will ask for dome and will be actually become aggravated and turned off if i dont give her some and she will just not go into anything sexual after that. This upsets me because i actually like giving oral and i just think its unfair that she gets it and will get aggravated if i ask for some. This is pretty important to me because i feel like i actually get more pleasure from her giving me oral and watching her do it rather than just having sex.What should i do? stop giving her some and hope she gives me some first? i think if i do this we will probably just become less sexual and we will be in a worse place than when we started. Help
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male
reader, dirtball +, writes (20 February 2011):
 http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-personal-bias-and-gender-stereotypes-can-influence.html
I wish you hadn't have busted me out in that other thread OP, but I think you'll appreciate what I was trying to accomplish. If you want an explanation of the cut and paste post you saw, here it is.
A
female
reader, smiliek  +, writes (12 February 2011):
 I must be one of few women who love giving blowjobs and really dont enjoy having the favour returned... Luckily my hubby doesnt like going down on me and loves me giving him head so it works well! Haha. I do enjoy doing it, but sometimes i feel lazy and really, its the most work a woman does during sex. Unless we're on top. It honestly sounds as though your gf has become kinda lazy. Perhaps change things up, go outside or hire a motel room. Get kinky in a spa bath or the shower. Somewere where it'd be pretty hard to go down on her. See what happens.. I dont think its fair that you do it every time or get in trouble, but she hardly ever does.. Compromise is needed..
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2011): She probably doesn't want to do it to you after you do it to her because you doing it to her makes her aroused enough to have sex, and in the 20 minutes or however long it takes to give you oral she might lose the aroused feeling and/or dry up. A lot of women need oral stimulation to get wet enough for sex. So maybe you should suggest that she go down on you first, which would also give you more time to recover in between.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2011): This may seem like an odd question, but does she enjoy penetration? Not all women do. If she can't get off through penetration and especially if it doesn't even feel good for her at all, she probably feels like she is already doing something she doesn't like for your pleasure. I know that's how I feel (though I hold out hope that I will one day feel at least one second of pleasure during it). I don't know if that's true for her, but if it is, then maybe you ought to give her oral and then either have her give oral or have intercourse, but not both in the same session.
Does she ever have any neck or jaw pain? That might be why she stopped doing it so often.
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (11 February 2011):
 Beautiful
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female
reader, missm83 +, writes (11 February 2011):
 i feel bad 4 you... i dont understand why a lot of girls dont go down on there guy. how would they feel if you said" i dont want to give you oral, i dont like it" i would feel like hes rejecting a part of me.I love going down on my man he doesn't even have to ask, i know he loves it not because hes "getting head' but because he knows how much i love him and want to please him. im proud of my skills and he greatly appreciate it..there is something about making love to his penis with my mouth ..its an amazing connection, knowing i have all that power to make my man explode with pleasure!! best feeling in the world..and i feel damn good knowing i made all that happen just with my lips,tongue :)
talk to her tell her you tell her by rejecting to go down on you it makes you feel like shes rejecting a part of you
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2011): Great poem DB.
Hallmark should hire you for Valentines. Funniest thing I've read today.
Seems like alot has been said already, but I think perhaps she doesn't think of sex the same way you do. I think what you said about being turned on by her being turned on is key. Ideally, I think sex should work that way.
I think some women don't appreciate the reciprocal dynamic of sex. They like getting off, but they don't neccessarily get turned on by someone else being turned on. I was like this with my first boyfriend and I didn't know it bothered him until he brought it up in a very explicit way.
Why did she do it in the beginning and not now? Probably to impress you. She hasn't learned how to enjoy your enjoyment yet. Talk to her.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionha nice poem dirtball and thanks to all of you who have given your opinion. i try to keep an open mind to what everyone says even if its not what i want to hear i guess
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2011): This is definitely something you need to get her to discuss with you. Just don't be pushy and think of the best way to approach it with her. It is obviously something of very high importance to you. So the subject needs to be broached at some point.
I have to say, speaking for myself, I LOVE for my lover to give me head. And I actually went through a few phases where I loved to give oral just because I was horny (Probably where she was at the beginning, and then I didn't like to do it because I simply didn't know the "correct" way to give oral to a man, and now I have found the tools I need to help me enjoy giving my lover oral.
If you can get her to at least talk to you about it, maybe you can offer suggestions such as flavored creams and oils to help with the "fleshy taste". Even suggest maybe that she simply just try licking you and using her hand instead of trying to take you all in at once.
If she has a gagging problem (which I suffered from) there are throat coats you can buy at adult stores that numb the throught and stop the gagging reflex. There are a number of different ways to make it more enjoyable for a woman to give oral to her man. Suggest different techniques. Also, if you drink sweet fruit juices such as pineapple juice and stay away from red meats and fatty foods your precum will taste better for her…not so salty.
Another suggestion; not knowing the whole situation, if she doesn’t like you to led go in her mouth you can tell her when you’re ready so that she can stop with her mouth and continue with her hand. Some women just don’t enjoy that part no matter what you do.
But all together, it's about wanting to please each other and show that you can be the best lovers for each other. A lot of women have these issues. If you two love each other you'll be able to talk it out without feelings of judgment or inadequacy. Just try to be as supportive and empathetic as possible with her. And try not to play the numbers game. Just let her know emotionally how it makes you feel without sounding like you’re putting her down. Some women do have a lot of pride and her receiving all the time and not giving could be subconsciously a part of her feeling like a hierarchy in the relationship.
Not to be taken in a negative manner, but she just needs to understand how important this aspect of your love life is to you.
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male
reader, dirtball +, writes (11 February 2011):
Here's a thought OP. Have you tried explaining WHY you like her to give you a blowjob? Perhaps if she knew how sexy you find it when she does it, that might change her perception.
Why I love BJ's. A rhyming verse by dirtball.
It's something that she's doing just for me,
and it's something I can see.
All the different ways to stimulate,
make it something I just can't hate.
Her beautiful eyes looking up at mine,
is a feeling that's difficult to define.
The feel of her soft lips as they caress,
always manages to eliminate all my stress.
It shows acceptance, compassion and love,
so on her head, I'll never shove.
Because I would not want her to bite,
that would simply ruin my night.
In her mouth, I need not end,
So will you keep going, my sweet girlfriend?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOhGetReal: so basically your saying women should get all the oral they want because they need more to be satisfied? yet god forbid they give a blowjob because its "degrading" to them? she didnt look degraded when she used to do it all the time at the begining.it looked like she actually enjoyed it. she would randomly zip my pants down and do it on her own. now if i even ask for it she will act like im too demanding. all i want is i guess a way i could restore it back to what it used to be. i give her oral and so does she. im not asking for it everytime either.. i dont expect it everytime but it would be like if u know you like a certain position and your partner was just unwilling to even talk about it . i dont know how i am being selfish here if im the one thats doing anything to please her i didnt know wannting to be pleased back was a bad thing.
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female
reader, chigirl +, writes (11 February 2011):
No-one goes into a relationship knowing the other persons sexual preferences... and people change. If she absolutely do not enjoy giving oral, yet she continues to do it as a special treat to him, that means she knows how much he likes it, and she enjoys to give it to him. She just doesn't feel able to enjoy it if forced into it more often than what she's comfortable with.
There are other ways to get sexual stimulation if that's what you seek. Like new positions in bed, talking about what sex is about for the two of you, doing intimate things together that is outside of the routine. Many things can be very erotic, and stimulating, and make you feel loved and wanted, that she will love to do for you as well. If that is what it comes down to then why not give it a shot. Tantric sex for example. Or new positions. Or she can blind-fold you and have an entire session just focusing on your pleasure (doing other things than oral as well).
The question is also: why is it too little for you? She does give you blowjobs, just not every time you have sex. Does it have to be every time you have sex? And how often do you have sex? Do you have sex every day? Every week? If it's every day, then I'd think it's expecting a bit much to want blowjobs every day. People do have different sexual drives, and like I tell ALL OTHERS who experience they don't get enough sex, or as much as they'd like: you need to compromise! You can't sit and play a game of tug-o-war. It's not either she gets it her way or you get it your way. You need to find a middle ground for what would be ok for both.
Such as, if she doesn't enjoy giving blowjobs that often, she can do something else that she and you both enjoy. She hasn't stopped giving blowjobs, she just doesn't do them as often. So, lets not try and kill whatever little pleasure she takes from giving them when she does, or make her resent giving them alltogether.
In the end, if she doesn't like to give blowjobs as much as you want blowjobs you need to leave her and the relationship and find another girlfriend. Thats just how it is. You can't force her to give you a blowjob, you can't make her do it against her will. And what sort of pleasure would you get from in anyway knowing she resents doing it. I'd find it a turn-off.
Bottom line: there are other ways to get sexual stimulation, and there are ways to feel wanted and needed in a relationship other than through blowjobs.
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male
reader, dirtball +, writes (11 February 2011):
CindyCares, I'd agree with you whole heartedly if that's how it had always been. If she never gave him BJ's but he went down on her, yup, that's just who she is, and he has to accept it because he went in knowing that. However, there was a change in her behavior, and one that's causing a rift to form.
She demands it at every sexual encounter. You can't demand something, even something your partner likes doing, and not expect to reciprocate. That IS a double standard, at least in my book.
Sex should be about giving and mutual enjoyment with a feeling of closeness. Not keeping score like Chigirl stated. However, when you notice a relationship becoming more one sided in bed, that often carries over into other areas as well, so it needs to be addressed.
His feelings shouldn't be so easily dismissed just because she stopped liking BJ's. That's telling him he doesn't matter.
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female
reader, OhGetReal +, writes (11 February 2011):
 The problem here is your attitude. You are resentful that you give her oral sex as a prelude or foreplay before sex and that she doesn't reciprocate each and every time.That is what I get from your original post. Then after being chastised you changed your tune on here with subusequent posts, which is not the truth of the matter. You're not being honest.Here is the deal, sex is not fair. Women need sexual stimulation and mental and emotional and physical foreplay before sex. Her turn on level starts in her mind waaaay before you ever get to it, it starts with how you treat her as a woman and as a girlfriend, if she feels unappreciated, she won't be very turned on to having sex with you.Women NEED foreplay to get aroused....men need to just brush by a woman, see her, think of her, smell her what ever and they are "ready". You are always going to be giving more of that to her than she is going to give it to you, and blowjobs are WORK for a woman and she is going to feel resentful and used if you constantly ask her for one, or act mad if she doesn't give you one.Many women feel degraded when "forced" to give a blow job, it is big in porn videos and those are quite degrading to women and a lot of men these days have seen too many of those types of movies...and take a certain "entitlement" attitude to sex, and it comes across to women loud and clear and it is a turn off.Pay attention to your relationship and the quality of your romantic life, and things will get hotter between the sheets all on it's own.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2011): This does sound like a double standard. I like giving oral sex to my partner too. But the main reason is that I want to be a "Good Lover". With that I most know how to pleasure my partner with the best sex I can give her( and this means oral too). Women don't always orgasm through intercourse alone. So that is why some feel oral is the best way to achieve climax, and the combination of intercourse, intimacy and communication goes a long way. That and her personal ideals, and fantasies make you a very efficient lover.If you are doing this by all lengths, then it is sad she will not do the same for you. Some women just feel that intercouse is enough stimulation for men and any other forms of sex shouldn't be thought of. Women know the penis can be easily stimulated which means some then think not even to bother with oral. These women who think that you are doing it just for yourself are selfish and don't know anything about being a "Good Lover". Blowjobs shouldn't treated as a gift or a "once every blue moon" type of deal. Oral sex is a NEED for both parties and should not feel neglected. She should do it because she wants to pleasure him and make him feel the same way she feels. She should do it because even though seen as a submissive act, it can be empowering to women knowing they can control his orgasms. Then Again some do it and some hate it! Just do what women always do... Don't settle for less!
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female
reader, chigirl +, writes (11 February 2011):
There's just one thing I will agree with dirtball on in here and that is that your girlfriend does operate with a double standard if she does expect you to go down on her. In sex you are free to only do the acts which you find pleasurable, and you should not expect things in sex. If she expects oral from you you and her must talk about this, because she can't be expecting it. Not even if she was giving you blowjobs on a regular basis.. one should simply not expect things from the other in bed, but be grateful for what you receive. Sex again, to me, is all about taking care of your partner and showing them love and care. Not about expectations, entitlements, or demands.
This does sound like a sexual relationship that had landed in a routine. The routine being you go down on her, and you proceed to have intercourse until you have both had an orgasm. Sounds fair enough on many levels seeing as hardly any woman can orgasm from intercourse. But again, sex should never be about tit for tat.
This goes back to what I said earlier: the sexlife needs to be reevaluated and fixed to get back on top again. It sounds like things have just gotten too routine. Thus she expects certain things because you typically do these things.
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female
reader, Blonde68  +, writes (11 February 2011):
If I were a betting lass, I would say she has just become lazy... lie back and think of england.. well united states on this occasion. She used to do it without a problem so why not now.. laziness and lack of interest is all I can think of.
Perhaps suggest adding something different... if she likes chocolate and squirty cream... try that out and plaster your manhood in it... she may like that. Woman can get easily bored if it is the same routine everytime we have sex.
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female
reader, FluffyPie +, writes (11 February 2011):
 Do you have a proper hygiene? What does your precum taste like? Do you smell good down there?
I don't like giving my boyfriend blowjobs because both his pre-cum and cum smell and taste horrible. He's clean, he showers every day, but the sweat over day makes it funny. He enjoys eating me out, but never forces me to reciprocate to the same level.
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male
reader, dirtball +, writes (11 February 2011):
Chigirl, what you don't seem to be getting is that her refusal to even discuss the issue is the cause of those feelings of neglect. They are very much related.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (11 February 2011):
 DB, you may be right in general but not in this particular case, IMO there is no double standard here.
It would be a double standard if the OP would hate giving her oral, yet he would do it anyway to please her, and then , when is her turn to reciprocate the "sacrifice ", she would refuse.
But the OP actually likes giving oral, it's something that turns him on, - he is not making any sacrifice, he is doing something for himself and HIS own enjoyment and pleasure ( and, luckily, she likes it too ).
OP, please be very sincere - imagine that, for whatever reason, you hate giving your woman oral sex. Maybe she smells funky, or you don't like the taste of female body fluids,or the sight of female genitalia from so close, or you get a crick in your neck, or - any reason at all,even silly. How would you feel if your gf would keep pestering that she wants tons of cunnilingus because that's what she likes best ? Wouldn't you feel annoyed or pressured, wouldn't you start dreading the moment to have sex thinking "oh no... here we go again with this damn cunnilingus " ?
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female
reader, chigirl +, writes (11 February 2011):
@ Illithid:
What's "fair" has nothing to do with sex. Sex, and relationships, isn't about being fair. It's about giving to each other, not about only giving as long as you receive an equal amount of whatever. Your case was beyond comparison to this case. And just like this isn't about whats fair or not, your case wasn't about what was fair or not either. That girl wasn't interested in taking care of your needs, she was selfish most probably, and you let yourself be taken advantage of. All based on the little info you gave me so far that is. In this case the girl seems to be willing to do everything with her partner, but not give blowjobs. It's not a means of controlling or punishing or putting down. If the man feels neglected in the sexual area of his relationship then work on that. Demanding blowjobs is hardly the solution to someone who feels neglected. When my ex neglected me, eating me out would surely not fix a darn thing.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionoh and another thing.. i dont make her bobble her head on it. i just let her do her thing and move her hair out of her face so i can watch her do it since its a huge turn on for me to watch her do it. i dont set a speed or angle i just sit there and let her go at it. I used to move her head when she first started giving me head but she talked to me about it and told me that she didnt like me to do that because it bothered her so i stopped and now i just let her do whatever she wants to do with it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni take a shower before everytime we have sex and i make sure im clean down there. As far as taste i really cant say since well ive never tasted myself but shes told me it tastes ok. And its not about tricking her. i dont want to trick her to do anything i just think its weird that she used to do it pretty much everytimes we fooled around and there was times that it was all we did just give eachother oral and we would be happy. and now i can spend 20 minutes concentrating on giving her the best oral i can to please her and she wont do it back anymore. And no i dont do it so she will give it back... i do it becasue i like it but yet i enjoy blowjobs and she just doesnt like to give them anymore. When she talks dirty to me and i ask her if i can have one she'll say "if your lucky". I guess im not very lucky since i only get one like once a month. And again its not about numbers but its something i enjoy and she makes it seem like its a chore. before i started liking giving oral i would do it with a smile even if i hated it just so she would be satisifed. And we have a great sex life other than this problem its not about keeping score its just that its something i would like to get more often. and say if for some reason i dont want to give her oral that day she will make me look like the bad guy because supposibly i dont find her attractive enough to give it to her. But yet if i ask for some and she doesnt want to im just supposed to suck it up and live with it.
oh and dome = oral sex
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male
reader, Illithid +, writes (11 February 2011):
 Re: Chigirl... I had a girlfriend for a few years that would let me eat her out, and yes I loved it too, but she would never touch me whatsoever. No oral, no vaginal, just empty promises and imbalance. Is that fair because I liked to eat her, so my own needs didn't matter?
That said, relationships are sacrifice. She sacrifices when she gives a BJ, but the OP sacrifices his sexual needs for her comfort. The question is where that line needs to be drawn: 10% of the oral he wants? 50%? All the oral he wants? No more oral at all?
I can understand that she dislikes this, really I can, but the more she rejects him, the less loved he'll feel, the more resentment will build up, the less passion he will be able to bring into the bedroom to serve her, and the more seemingly unrelated arguments will erupt. This needs to be addressed, calmly but thoroughly, before the love starts to crumble. If they can at least reach an understanding soon, they can make this work. But if she doesn't even feel that he's worth taking seriously and refuses to give this issue some importance (because it's important to HIM), then she's not willing to make the relationship work.
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female
reader, Blonde68 +, writes (11 February 2011):
I am with you on this one Dirtball! It can't be all take, take, take!
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female
reader, Blonde68 +, writes (11 February 2011):
Sorry for such personal questions... but do you shower daily? Are you smelling nice down there? Do you force her head down on you so that she is deep throating (which some women find hard and don't enjoy)?, Do you taste nice, (pre cum)? These are all things that I would be wondering to be honest.
I just can't get my head around why she liked it, or did it a lot during the first 6 months, and then now she is saying she doesn't like it.... bascially, I am of the opinion, you either like doing something or you don't.. full stop!
You two need to talk... ask her opinion on some of the questions that I have outlined above. If it doesn't get resolved then I seriously think you will have to have a long hard think as to whether this relationship is for you... It may sound extremely shallow, but I don't know any men that would be able to live without a blowjob.
Good luck!
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male
reader, dirtball +, writes (11 February 2011):
You know what's funny to me, and I've seen it plenty of times before on here, a guy like this comes in and gets told that he just has to accept it, that's how she is.
A girl comes in giving the exact same story and she gets told he's lazy, selfish, and all sorts of other nasty stuff.
Why is her double standard ok here? Because he likes giving oral, it's ok that she insists on it every time they have sex? When he asks for reciprocation, he's just told no and she gets angry if he gets upset about the constant imbalance.
We all make sacrifices for our partner if we care about them. Perhaps she's forgotten that and is getting lazy. Nothing should ever be EXPECTED in my book when it comes to sex.
I'm not sure what "dome" means, but I'm assuming it means performing oral sex on her.
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female
reader, chigirl +, writes (11 February 2011):
What is "dome"?
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female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (11 February 2011):
I am sure that people will tell you that this isn't fair and that you should refuse to give her oral sex if she does not give it to you- tit for tat. That may even sound logical but sex is not mathematics or commerce, and if it were me I'd be totally turned off by a guy that in any way badgers or blackmails me into doing something that I dislike.
She does not enjoy giving oral sex, period. She is not a freak and not the only woman that feels like that. I think she is entitled to have her sexual likes and dislikes , and if you feel that this is such an important issue to you and you can't be happy without receiving BJs often, then you have to dump her and choose someone more orally inclined.
Of course , compromise is the key and you can reasonably expect that ,every now and then, she will overcome her dislike or laziness or whatever it is, just to please you and make you happy - same as you would insist that at least once a year she comes with you to visit your Aunt Myrtle whom she hates ; just out of courtesy, and to show good will and flexibility. But other than that , you can't force her to love Bjs same as you can't force her to love Aunt Myrtle. And frankly, I am even surprised that you are looking for some "trick" to make her do what you want , when you clearly know that's not what SHE wants.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell as far as the 69 goes, she would rather just give me head than do a 69. For some reason, she doesn't like them. She said she can't concentrate and I guess she doesn't like to have her butt in my face. I have tried talking to her and telling her that I really enjoy this, but she just tells me that she doesn't like doing it unless she's in the mood, which is not often at all. She just says, sorry that she doesnt like giving it and there's no negotiating about it. And I bet if I keep insisting I will get even less and she's told me this before. But if it wasn't for me giving her dome we wouldn't have much of a sex life I think. And I actually like giving it, that's not the problem. I like being down there and have her shake with pleasure, but I just don't think its fair and and I'm missing out on one of my favorite sexual experiences.
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female
reader, chigirl +, writes (11 February 2011):
I don't really see how it's unfair that you get to do something you BOTH enjoy, while you get sulky when she is turned off by you insisting on her doing something she does NOT enjoy. You ENJOY going down on her. It's fun, you like it, she likes it, so why mess with that?
She DOESN'T ENJOY going down on you. Yet she DOES IT every now and then. However you are greedy and want it more and more. But you can't be greedy in sex and insist on someone to do something they don't want to. You going down on her has nothing to do with this, sex isn't a game of tit for tat. This is NOT about you going down on her so and so often. This is about she not enjoying blowjobs, and you enjoy recieving blowjobs. Find a compromise that works for you both. End of story, thats the only issue at hand, and the only solution.
Now to how you view sex. Sex isn't about what's "fair" and what you "owe" the other. If thats how you view sex then you need to re-think what sex actually is about. If it's only about getting an orgasm to you then you'd be just as well off with some hooker or a toy from a sex-shop. Don't lower sex into being about how many times you get a blowjob. Sex is about both partners wanting to please the other, to enjoy intimacy together, to enjoy each others bodies. It's not about entitlement, a chore, tit for tat, the amount of time or number things are done. It's about intimacy, being close, showing love and care, and putting your partner before your own needs, but also daring to receive pleasure and being completely naked and vulnerable in front of someone else.
See how your focus on "how many times" you get a certain act doesn't fit into this idea of sex? Is sex to you something so invaluable, something so little, that it can be measured in amounts of blowjobs, tied with anger and resentment, etc? If thats the case then you shouldn't have sex with this woman at all, because how can sex be enjoyable when you bring so much negativity into it?
If you want to improve your sexlife you need to re-evaluate what sex is all about, and talk to your girlfriend about how you can both get better sex, and please each other. If the sexlife has fallen into a rut you need to change it, not ask for more blowjobs. If the positions you use aren't exciting enough, or you feel it is all about her during sex, then work on it and change it! Again it's not about the blowjobs. The blowjobs is just a symbol of you feeling neglected in the sex life, or feeling a need for something more than what you already have. Talk to your girlfriend about this. Don't be childish about it and play games of tit for tat. Just talk to her and bring in the positive things, not charge her with negativity and resentment.
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male
reader, dirtball +, writes (11 February 2011):
She definitely has a double standard there. If she's insisting on it, then it's only right that she reciprocate more often. Have you tried suggesting a 69? That way you're both getting that oral pleasure at the same time.
Your best bet is to talk about how it's making you feel. How you feel this pressure from her, but because she gets mad if you bring it up, you feel like your desires don't matter to her.
You're right that if you just stop, that's not going to solve the problem. You two need to talk this out.
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