A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm currently 28 weeks pregnant, my partner walked out on us both leaving me to move back to my parents and give my job up. He doesnt want anything to do with his baby or me which is fine. The problem is I'm currently speaking to a friend of his who doesnt know that his friend is my ex and the father of my baby.The guy that am talking to sounds great he wants to be there for me and the baby but he doesnt know his friend is my ex... should i tell him further down the line or from the beginning or just not date him at all?? I lived with my ex for years and he never mentioned this guy either which makes me believe he isnt a best friend
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2011): He sounds brilliant and it could be really good for you but before you start I think you need to be honest with yourself, what would you want out of the relationship,what are the pros and cons and what couls the outcomes be. I would be honest from the start because firstly it genuily sounds like you really do like him and you wouldn't want to ruin that by not telling him something even if it seems small. How would you feel like if it was the other way round? I hope and I am sure everything will go well. Good luck anyway! x
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2011): He sounds brilliant and it could be really good for you but before you start I think you need to be honest with yourself, what would you want out of the relationship,what are the pros and cons and what couls the outcomes be. I would be honest from the start because firstly it genuily sounds like you really do like him and you wouldn't want to ruin that by not telling him something even if it seems small. How would you feel like if it was the other way round? I hope and I am sure everything will go well. Good luck anyway! x
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reader, Capri2  +, writes (11 February 2011):
About what FloridaCatGirl said: I don't think that, if the new guy has a problem with his friend being your ex or the father of your baby, makes him a bad person.
Some people would have a problem with that, and some people won't. You have to tell him now and let him choose whether he wants to stay with you or not. By hiding this you would be selfish. If you doubt about telling him, which is obvious after your question here, it's because you know this could possibly bother him. But it's better to know that right now before going on dating him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2011): Yes, I would definitely tell him before anything happens. Specially because if he does indeed stays around and help you with your baby, he will eventually find out and then you'll have to deal with issues of trust..
So before you get too attached, before he gets too attached, and before your baby gets attached(!!) tell him the truth and let him make an informed decision.. if he really likes you, that should not be an issue, and as Ciara said, he'd be more annoyed with the father walking out on you than anything else. and if that's not the case, rather sooner than later, girl! Good luck! :)
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reader, FloridaCatGirl  +, writes (11 February 2011):
 Definitely tell your new love interest that his friend is the father of your baby. It doesn't sound like they are close friends anyway. Besides, he will find out eventually, and if he's really a good guy, he won't have a problem with it. Let us know what happens. Good luck!
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reader, ciara robinson +, writes (11 February 2011):
 hi, i think you and bubs need the best and if that means this guy is going to give you both it then go for it, i do however think that you should tell him who your ex is, if he cares that much for you's then he wont mind, he will be more annoyed with you ex for walking out than with you for keeping it from him so you should tell him asap. good luck and hope all goes well
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