A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Has anyone got experience of on line dating? I have met 3,but they have all been less than truthful. Professional was unemployed. Had 1 child was really 4. Single turned out to be in a relationship who enjoyed the thrill. Does it ever get better? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2011): If a woman cant get a man and a man cant get a woman,then surely dating sites serve a cause?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2011): Its true that a lot of the negatives mentioned are true and finding someone honest is like finding a needle in a haystack. Women are not going to stand an equal chance with 3+ kids,but are foolish enough to lie. I have 4 and in that situation I would be honest. I would feel guilty to deny their existence too. I tried it once,he said he was an artist,that wasnt a lie,I didnt realize he meant piss artist. His car that I never once saw ,was always being used by his brother so he caught the bus,later told me he`d sold it as driving was so stressful. I gave up.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2011): well, if you don't live too far from me - maybe me and you should hook up one day - how about a date with a girl who knows what she wants, who is honest, has no kids, never married, what you see is what you get...how about it??!
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A
male
reader, asap09marc +, writes (7 November 2011):
 Once a dating site chick always a dating site chick. Dating site chicks are not for the faint hearted,they are just as bad as men. Do not let any woman make you feel obligated to marry her just because she`s let you view her on cam,sent you mobile phone pics or give you sex on the first date. It is a circus,so make sure you dont play the clown. Enjoy and have fun.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2011): There are several free sites with the same members on all of them. These members are usualy on them sites for life. Not all are single,but somehow manage to believe they are doing nothing wrong,whilst keeping it from their partners who they claim they love. If caught they find a way back more anonymously. They are addicted. The majority are willing to risk losing what they have and when their marriage breaks down they still continue. There are many reasons but most thrive off compliments. They are the ones who are easiest to get your wicked way with. Yes, i am one of those guys who may have used one of you damsels in distress. I dont feel guilty,i never even had to ask for it,it was on offer.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2011): I dont say the anon male is right,but if a woman tells lies to get noticed,or uses sex as bait then she has simply got what she asked for. I met one. She had 3 children but told me she had 1 who had left home. Sex within 2 hours. . She said her ex was abusive and violent to her,only to find out 3 months later that he had left her because she was either flirting online or getting him further into debt. She was constantly trying to get him back and thought he would return if he knew about me. It didnt work . It turned out he was a decent guy. I am sorry but i will never go down that road again. As far as i am concerned most of those on dating sites are wacko.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2011): Male anon - Do you not feel guilty for targeting vulnerable people. Everybody is vulnerable at some point their life, how would you feel if someone tried to take advantage of you while you where feeling low.
Its people like you that ruin the online dating experience for genuine people.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2011): I will own up to saying that I am one of the bullshitters. I have told women what they wanted to hear to get sex. The ones just getting over a relationship are the easiest. Tell them they are beautiful and her ex`s loss is my gain and it is there on a plate,even after the first date most of the time. This will get a lot of peoples backs up,but come on you only live once.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2011): I have to agree, most people online are the ones who could feel more confident on the net than in person. Meaning, they could make up stories to make them seem to be a better person than they actually are. We have to learn that this is just normal for online dating. It's up to you to take the risk.
It's like this, if you speak to 10 people online, the odds are 9 of them are fake. That is why, if you are serious in finding your mate, getting online is the least to find this person. There is always a chance that you could be successful but most of the time, you will not be successful.
I consider myself lucky to have met one 2 years ago. But that is after countless of talking to different people and most of them lying about their jobs, nationalities etc. And the funny thing is, I wasn't even looking for a date then. He was just someone I chat with during my spare time. It turns out that all he told me about him is true, even his name. When we touch the topic about online dating, he said after he met me, everything became boring for him and everything online does not interest him anymore. He said he already found what he was looking for. So eventually, he stopped visiting the sites and deactivated his accounts. I never asked him to. Now we live together for a year.
Try meeting people online but don't put your heart to it. It is much better to go out and actually meet them outside.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2011): I met one who told me she had 2 kids. It took 6 weeks for her to own up she had 6 after asking her why she kept me away from her home. She must have lived in a shoe.
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female
reader, adamantine  +, writes (7 November 2011):
 I met my boyfriend online, however not on a dating site. He lives in the USA and I live in Australia. We were friends for 1.5 years before he came to visit me in July for 3 months. He's coming here to live hopefully by the end of the year.
Online dating really is no different to dating in real life. People will lie and deceive whether it be online or not. The thing with being online though, is that because it's so easily accessible, people tend to use it for fun and games and play with the minds of people who are genuinely wanting a relationship.
You just have to have your wits about you and be one to pick out the truth from the lies.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, unmeidaagonyaunt  +, writes (7 November 2011):
 Hoo boy, are there ever some wackos out there! Your story attests to that.
Unfortunately, you do have to kiss a few frogs to find a princess. However, you do not have to suffer fools lightly.
Have you ever considered signing up for hobbies that tend to be popular with females? Yoga, dancing classes, many gyms? I think you are a good guy, and I know you will find someone out there who can be your partner, indeed.
Good luck to you!
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A
female
reader, 1sunshine +, writes (7 November 2011):
 I guess I was one of the "fortunate ones" that met the love of my life online :) We were both totally honest with our profiles, ect... Actually, when we met face to face he was even better looking in person than the pics. he had posted online! I used Zoosk on ( facebook ) Yeah, I went on a few dates before hand, met quality guys, but just not for me. I guess there are dating sites that aren't that great out there. I also have friends that are happily married that met their husbands/wives online :) My boyfriend told me that with him working so much with having two jobs, he had no time to actually go out and meet someone. He also didn't want to go to a bar to meet someone, it just got old to him and I totally agreed. It's been 6 months that we have been together and WE ARE SO IN LOVE!! ;) Don't give up
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A
male
reader, MikeEa1 +, writes (7 November 2011):
 I've been doing on-line dating for several months, not constantly but when I feel lonely. I have a couple of relationships that were ok for a while. There's some nice people out there but you have to be careful. Be nice to the ones that are nice to you and see where it goes. sex should not be a priority as you hardly know them. We're not all mad and if you think so then maybe you ought to do some self-examination.
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female
reader, kirra07  +, writes (6 November 2011):
Yes, I met someone online over 3 years ago, more for a casual thing than actual dating. And we are now getting married in 2 months, after dating for 2.5 years and living together for a good length of time. Now, this is likely the exception rather than the rule. Neither me nor my fiance really lied or hid much about ourselves before meeting. There will be people out there that do that (as you have already experienced), you just have to keep persevering and hope that the next girl you meet will be a good one. Also, try to judge your instincts about whether the women you talk to online are being truthful, or are sketchy/suspicious.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2011): Use your sense!! If they are such a good catch,then they would have been caught before having to rely on online dating.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2011): I agree with xavima, I've dated five guys from dating sites and afterwards I could understand why they were on a dating site (no offense) but what i am saying is, we are all on dating sites for a reason.
Its whether or not you can get past the other persons reason for not being able to develop a relationship in the real world, some do not want anything serious, just fun, some just want to flirt to increase confidence and some just don't know how to interact with the opposite sex.
I am not perfect, I focused too much on my career and dating was just never a priority for me, so I'd prefer to meet somebody that had the same reasons as me for online dating. Anything else is just way too much work.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2011): once a dating site user always a dating site user. go back in three years and its the same people, but with different profile names. some are honest,some are not. most are clowns.
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female
reader, xavima +, writes (6 November 2011):
If something seems to good to be true,it generally is.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2011): I'm afraid it doesn't really , in truth, i hear of people who meet their partners via internet dating....however it never worked for me and i had thousands of dates from it. It really depends what sort of person you are, and i realy do believe that if you are a smart intelligent person, then your other half will not be on there. Ask yourself that question, would the partner of your dreams be hiding behind a computer screen putting pictures of themselves saying what their hobbies and interests are ? The answer for me is no. I would love to say that it gets better but i have met nothing but men who tell lies or have terrible insecurities and use jdate either for s*x or for their own self gratifiction. I would say try other websites maybe first and then if they still continue to be weirdos, just meet people in bars , pubs and just generally beng out with friends. the right one will come along! I believe he will you cant force it!
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2011): Hell, yea I know what you mean. I went online a few months back thinking there must be others out there like me who are genuine, and who are looking for an honest relationship. But sadly I have found that the majority of them are either 1. Still getting over an ex, 2. Online to 'sweet' shop, jumping from one person to the next, 3. Really do not know what they want hence number 2, 4. Completely screwed up, emotionally retarded people on there who need to sort themselves out before even considering talking to a lady let alone, be in a relationship, 5. Those who just want SEX...I have come to the conclusion that it is far better to meet in the natural as it were, you never really know just by looking at photos and reading them how someone really is, how they are around others, whether they have basic manners, whether they really are telling the truth. Yea sure a few people may have met someone and actually married from a dating site - but I personally think that is a very rare occurrence. I have tried paid sites too, e harmony is crap, you really do have to be patient - they don't let you search, they search for you with what they think is a match for you...well, I think that I can decide for myself who might be good...sometimes not having EVERYTHING in common is good, or maybe just having one or two things...but some sites match you to those similar to you... which is not always necessarily a great thing. You really are better meeting someone out there, join some clubs, get out and about, flirt a bit, smile... Its not easy, but I believe that I will find the right person at the right time. Online sites are full of liars, cheats and players..
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