A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I have a great relationship with my wife and we love each other very much. She and I give each other oral sex. The thing is that I have asked her if she will swalow and she has said yes but she just can't bring herself to do it. What can I do to help her get over this little fear? She is afraid that it will taste bad or that she will gag on it and throw up.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2010): Well she isn't totally opposed to the idea, she has said she'd be willing to do it for you. And it's been done, it's not as if she's venturing where no woman (or man) has dared go before.
But of course it's a big favour on her part and if she's understandably a bit iffy about the idea, it's her call and she'll do it when she's ready, and if she never gets around to it but you're still happily married with a great sex life, it's not exactly the end of the world if it doesn't happen.
As you can see, the variety of responses to the stuff is considerable: Marieclaire reckons it's 'rank' while CindyCares didn't seem to find it too horrible. Anon likes it with Kahlua. BunnyTee is pretty much on the money: it's gooey slimy gunk and will never be mistaken for Chateau Lafite champagne in the taste stakes. But not too bad. Maybe she'll hate it. Some people find beer or chicken soup or tobacco or cheese or pasta absolutely indigestible. If she's worried it might make her gag, she's got a point - it might. If she can't bring herself to do it, that's fair enough.
Point is, it's up to her. You can encourage her, but that's about all. Don't put any pressure. Really not your choice, and nothing you can do to except maybe say 'I would really love if you did this for me but only if it's a turn-on for you, feel free to swallow!' and don't keep going on about it or pestering her, or you'll end up really annoying her and she'll be a lot less likely to do it. ConceptualClarity's idea of starting out with a small taster makes a lot of sense, but I'd repeat, DON'T pester her endlessly about it.
Tisha's wonderful idea, while I suspect it was meant as a distinctly tongue-in-cheek suggestion, is not entirely unheard of. Some homosexuals really enjoy a spot of 'felching' which is - erm, after the guy shoots his jizz in your mouth, you hold it there and snog him ('snog' is British/Irish slang for passionately kissing with tongues.) If virtual strangers have been known to do this, I can't see any reason why a loved-up straight married couple wouldn't be able to manage it. But I'd say it's 98% likely the idea doesn't really appeal to you.
Otherwise, my only advice would be for you not to fiate on this one issue and not get too hung up on the idea and don't let it become a, well, sticking point between you two. Good luck.
(Apologies to every DC reader who has made it this far. I really didn't set out to write an essay about swallowing, it just sort of happened, one thing led to another)
A
female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (18 May 2010):
 Tisha and q--you both always come through! The Great Mark who obviously has loads of experience in this matter-no pun-is off-the-hook- in his fruit obsession.
I agree with Tisha you: take the unfruit-flavored half and give her the remainder..all together now...SWALLOW. Let us know how you make out.
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A
female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (18 May 2010):
First, why don't you explain her to why this is so important to you? Can you cough that up? What's the big deal? swallow or spit, WHY is this even important? What difference does it make to you in the end? If she doesn't want to swallow, that's her prerogative. RESPECT the prerogative! How much of the stuff have YOU tasted, anyway? It's rather slimy, salty stuff, perhaps she's right in concern over it tasting bad? I've heard it's a great facial and hair conditioner, no doubt it cures cancer, too. I think you should just leave her alone and concern yourself with more important matters deserving of attention. If it's what she wants to do, then let her arrive there herself. Surely, there are more important matters? And before you think it: YES, I swallow.
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A
male
reader, conceptualclarity +, writes (16 May 2010):
What if you press against her breasts as you come and then ask her just to lick off a little of what's left on your penis or wipe a little off her breasts and suck it off her finger? That way she won't have the burden of trying to swallow a whole load at first.
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A
male
reader, ashamedandguiltfull  +, writes (15 May 2010):
swallow it yourself to show her it doesnt taste that bad! if youre not willing to do it, why should she?
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A
male
reader, riv +, writes (15 May 2010):
Come onto her nipple; take the sperm onto your tongue and lips - then touch your mouth to hers and see if she can enjoy the taste - start with just the tip of yr tongue onto her lips and tongue if she is willing.
In principle she should like the smell of sperm at least and eventually the taste also.
Take it in stages - don't try to make her taste/ swallow the whole ejaculate in one go.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (15 May 2010):
 Aww guys,come on, why so many hang ups. After all, people every day put in their mouths things like frog legs, or snails,or runny cheese,or tripe- without batting a lid and paying good money for that .
It's like with oysters,or truffle : it's an acquired taste.
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A
male
reader, The Great Mark Says +, writes (15 May 2010):
 Q eating fruit helps a lot. but if you still want to drink and get hammered. just have the other guy eat pineapples, then take a shot or two of rum. and you will be gargling pina colada baby batter in no time. cheer my friend and drink up
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (15 May 2010):
 Lucky you Q, you were close to a bar, I was on a deserted iseland...
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A
female
reader, Accountable +, writes (15 May 2010):
 I think Tishas solution is definitely the fairest.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2010): What if she really, really just doesn't want to swallow? I mean have you considered this? Why do you want her to swallow anyway? :/
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (15 May 2010):
I'd say that it's best not to force her to do it. If she really is worried about it, then maybe she shouldn't do it. Or you could follow Tisha's advice, which is pretty fair.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2010): Do you know people have asked this question a few times on Dear Cupid, and this Tisha HAS to be the best answer I have EVER read.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (15 May 2010):
 Offer to share it with her. When it comes time, you take half of it in your mouth, and you can then both swallow together. That might help her conquer this fear.
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A
male
reader, The Great Mark Says +, writes (15 May 2010):
hey there i know exactly what you need to do. first you taste and tell here taste good. just like what you do with little kids and trying a new food.
next explain to her that its got lots of protein and its nutritious. which actually sperm does have a lot of protein.
finally, now im being serious. if she really doesnt like that taste then change your diet a little. the taste of sperm is effected by what you eat. so eat some more fruits. the best are pineapples, cherries, cranberries, lemons, and oranges. normally the stronger or tarter the fruit flavor. the more noticeably different in taste the sperm will be. cheers my friend and i hope this helps.
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