A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:The guy I dated for over 2 years moved about 3,000 miles away a month ago because he wanted to go find out what a makes him tick. He told me when he made this decision to move is that he didn't want me to think he was trying to run away from me, just that he wanted to find what his purpose in life is. About a week before he left, he told me that he has been in love with me for over several months and that he loves me unconditionally. Of course, I love him just as much. I'm just not sure why he wanted to share what he felt knowing that we may not see each other ever again. Why share what you feel towards someone knowing that there may or may not be a future? I understand no regrets, but does it mean that there's still hope in the future? or just a heartbreak? I know I love him unconditionally and is willing to let him go because I want him to find his purpose and his happiness and he felt the same way for me... it was a bittersweet goodbye, but I'm not so sure on what to do now because I do miss him tremendously, and truly love him and I want to see and be with him again. He also told me that if I ever wanted to talk, text or visit I can, but I do not want to bother because he went out there for a purpose and I really want him to figure it out. It has been over a month, no contact. Any real advice on what to do?
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (14 September 2012):
 Move on.
A
male
reader, Tom Obler  +, writes (13 September 2012):
 Hi,
Let it go. However hard and sad he didn't want to further things.
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A
male
reader, HotGeek  +, writes (13 September 2012):
"What do I do now?" - Nothing.
Cruel as it may seem, love for men is just another thing in life. His trip all over the world may have seemed more interesting. It's not personally about you, it's about experiences (not that I personally support that, on the contrary - I'm with you here)
Let him go. He's a kid.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (13 September 2012):
 Let him go.
And please promise me you won't sit around and wait for him to magically appear once he's "found" himself.
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A
female
reader, lmao1989 +, writes (13 September 2012):
 To me it sounds all a bit too good to be true.He has probably told you all this because the fact is he has moved away and doesn't need to see you so to speak yeah he can contact you or he told you contact him but he probably knows that you won't because you'll respect his wishes in order for him to find himself or his self purpose and that is why he told you to come visit because he probably knows that you won't again because you know he's moved for a reason.He more than likely told you this stuff before he left because he knows it'll keep you wanting him and he doesn't even have to contact you or see you in order to know that. He knows you're a young vulnerable girl and knows how to work you.Like Tisha-1 said contact him, tell him you're moving on, or that you have moved on (he doesn't need to know you've not) and then leave him in the past 3,000 miles away finding his self purpose and enjoy your life! Live it and live it well without him on your mind.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (13 September 2012):
 Being the old(ish) curdmudgeon that I am, my comment to his oh so sweet departure speech is : bollocks. He uttered all those loving, delicate expressions because they sound nice, are appropriate to the circumstance and make him look like a brave, sensitive soul that must rip himsef off from what's dearest to him to follow his destiny, in the best Harlequin literary tradition. In practice, for one who loved you so intensely and was so in love, saying bye and moving 3000 miles away with no plans of reconnecting is a very odd way to show his love. Everybody has at least a general ( even if often misguided ) idea of where his happiness lie and what they need to feel whole and fulfilled , and obviousy his idea did not include you. Whatever it is that can make him tick-unfortunately it is not you, and that is a given no matter how much he sugarcoates it.
Move on. Don't waste time pining and waiting for him, he has made his choice. You are right not to begrudge this choice, it was a choice for himself, but not AGAINST you, even if this choice leaves you temporarily stranded. You are a generous person who can love in a selfless way and I have no doubt that this quality will attract to you the person or person that can give you back your kind of love.
But generous does not mean naive . Colour him gone, move on, live your life and let him remain just a good memory.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2012): Well if you know that you want to be with him and he has not said that he doesn't want you anymore, then why not be proactive in keeping at least the channels of communication open? It would be different if he said he wants to break up and does not want a relationship with you. But he didn't say that. Therefore it makes no sense to me why you wouldn't or shouldn't actively pursue something that you want. Things don't just happen by themselves. You don't just wake up one day with a college degree or a new job. If you know what you want why would you not do anything to try to make it happen?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2012): You did the right thing by letting him find his happiness. That's true unconditional love that you did. When you truly love someone you let them find their happiness even if its not with you. Yes it hurts like hell. Go and be with friends do some of your favorite things. You will find someone that will love and appreciate you. You are well deserving of that. Be strong and don't isolate yourself about it though. This too shall pass. Best of luck to you.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (13 September 2012):
 Let him go. If he really and truly wanted to be with you, he'd have made that choice. He didn't, hurtful as that may feel. It's honest, I guess, but I think there will be more disclosures that may be surprising.
Let him go, mourn the relationship but do not put yourself on the shelf, waiting for him. He's moved away.
Put yourself back on the market, meet people, date. You are single, his declaration of love isn't worth diddly poop if after 2 years the best he can do is.. move away.
Love him unconditionally as a friend. He can do whatever it is friends do but what he did isn't actually boyfriend norm.
"Isaac, you're a great guy and I had hoped for a long and happy relationship. It's pretty obvious that we are not going to have that happy fairy tale ending. Good luck to you and best wishes and all that. I'm moving on, I'm dating again and consider myself back on the market.
"Bye now!"
So make contact, let him know that you are moving on, then move on. He's not going to be the guy of your dreams, alas.
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