A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:My partner tried to choke me on one occasion and I am wondering if I should give him another chance. He says he loves me more than anything but he panicked and he's so sorry and says he will never hurt me again. He wants to get married - we were engaged and I gave him the ring back. What should I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2008): You must know that I googled the question about a man choking you once, what to do....I am in your age range, 54, and it happened to me 3 days ago. During a heated verbal discussion, he snapped, charged me and put one hand on my throat and one over my mouth and nose. He had a crazy look in his eyes - He left after worrying that I might be crying too loudly and sent me numerous apoligies by text for 2 days - we should be together, etc (after 17 years of dating) - I have a warm, forgiving heart and said it was OK. The bruise on my neck, arm, and chest popped up yesterday. I am happy that so many of you caring people said "walk"..it's hard after so long but I think that things would get worse over time if he felt "committed" to me. Best to all of you! You can call me "cakes"
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2008): well if he lacks self control and did it once he could do it again. You have to protect yourself and stop listening to him after all its your life not his, he,s just thinking about himself.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2008): One day...he won't choke you again, because you'll be dead!
I saw the age you posted. I don't believe him, I'm sorry, but this is not something I would chance. Don't allow your age to be the judge (I'm too old, so no man would want me).
I would not be giving second chances to a man who choked me
or a woman for that matter.
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A
male
reader, Kawika +, writes (22 February 2008):
 I've walked the streets for many years and one of the familiar excuses I here in abuse type cases is..."He said he would never do it again..." But for some reason I'm always back at that same household and the injuries get worse and worse. I'm not saying it applies to everyone, but once a Man...or should I call him that...abuses you, it will never end. There is no excuse for him choking you...period. Honorable Men DO NOT lay there hands on a women regardless of the situation. They protect women and children, not injure them. I'm glad you gave him his ring back. Remember, he may use persuasive words to get you back, but trust me they will never change. He is definitely not a MAN...and not for YOU.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2008): There are sooooooo many guys out there, why stay with one who would physically hurt you? Choking you is very serious and you could have been killed. You have friends and family who love you and who would be devestated if they lost you at the hands of a man! A real man would not do this! As someone who has been in an emotionally abusive relationship, which neared physical abuse until I walked away after two years, I can tell you, It DOES NOT get better. People do not change without professional help. You don't have children with this man and are not married, so STAY AWAY! No man is worth this! You will only feel worse about yourself and the longer you let it go on, the harder it will be to walk away. Find someone better or reflect on yourself and what type of mate you are choosing. You deserve so much more!
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A
male
reader, maddox08 +, writes (22 February 2008):
 Please stay away from him it will only get worse you should have reported to the police so they would have had it on file just in case he tries something else. If you get married to him you will regret it. I saw my mom go through it and I wouldnt wish that on anyone. But if you should go back to him and he does something like that again have a scalding pot of grits on the stove and pour it on his ass then hit him with the pot and run that will teach his ass hey it worked for my mom and they have been divorced for 10 years now mom has never been happier. But if you could avoid it all together avoid it girl. Let me know how it all turns out
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2008): No way would I give anyone a second chance after doing something like that!!! That is only a taster of what is to come if you do get married. To do that once is one time too many in my opinion. They all say they are sorry after hitting/kicking/beating the living day lights out of you and that that they will never do it again. No walk away now while you are able to. Stay with him and no one knows what will become of you....Sadly in this day and age sorry is a word that is said much too easily and readily but without any meaning.
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A
female
reader, Helen1986  +, writes (22 February 2008):
 Hello, I am sorry to say this but you cannot give this guy another chance. He might be deeply sorry but whats to say he wont do something like that or worse again? You can advise him if you care about him to get proffessional help to cope with his anger! But I suggest you end the relationship or he will htink he can get away with it!!
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A
male
reader, johndoe200three +, writes (22 February 2008):
Well I am a guy so maybe this will help as well. I am not going to stand up for him just because he is a guy. I am only 23 but I know i would never lay my hands on any woman what so ever. Personally i wouldnt give him another chance. If he snapped that once what says he cant do it again. He may very well love you but that didnt stop him from doing it the first time now did it? If you do give him another chance you are risking your own life. Now i am stating this opinion from what you wrote and i obviously dont know either one of you but thats what i would do.
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A
female
reader, babewithbrains +, writes (22 February 2008):
 I would leave him - no one, NO ONE, should have the right to beat up women. Steer clear and DON'T talk to him, don't forgive and forget! Next time (and there is always a chance that there will be a next time) he might KILL you!What made him panic enough to assualt you?Leave him, he isn't worth your life, he isn't even worth your toenail clippings.Jelly:)Cheer Up :)
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A
female
reader, bubbloo24  +, writes (22 February 2008):
 Exaclty what hlskitten said. You cannot allow that kind of thing, and you definatly can't allow him to have a second chance at choking you!Stay clear of him. He had his chance and he blew it.Take care xx
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (22 February 2008):
 If you marry this guy, you will endure domestic violence. Sorry is a very easy word to say, get out or he will do it again and again.This man is very dangerous and could have killed you, no one should put up with that man or woman. Domestic violence is totally unacceptable, find yourself a guy who loves you and will keep his hands to himself. Take care Hun, Dusky xxx.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2008): It's a pity you gave him the ring back. What you should have done is to have sold it and gone out for a nice meal with some friends on the proceeds. I wouldn't give him a second chance under any circumstances. If he's capable of doing that sort of thing once, he'll do it again and next time you might not be so lucky. You'd be wise to have nothing more to do with him, apart from seeing him in court for assaulting you.
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A
female
reader, sue88 +, writes (22 February 2008):
Hi there, i once had someone do that, he promised never ever again but sure enough it happened.This may well just be in my case but are you willing to risk it, take a think especially on if he'll do it again. you should find your answer.Good luck and hope you make the right choice for yourselfSuex
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A
female
reader, Its_X_ +, writes (22 February 2008):
 Honey. Lets be honest. If a man does something once, he'll probably do it again. No man who loves you or wants to marry you would NEVER hurt you. NEVER. That man does not deserve you, and you do not deserve that kind of treatment. You deserve so much better. Ditch him before he does it again or you end up in the news for something much worse than being choked.Love,X
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (22 February 2008):
 Hi
What should you do?
Steer clear of him, thats what i would do.
Scary!
I wouldn't give a guy a second chance where anything violent is concerned. Its too risky.
C xxxxx
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